Disclaimer: This is not my writing but it is interesting and as an Alcoholic I can identify with it.
Larry, -------------------
The Alcoholic And Feeling "Different"
For most of their life, the typical alcoholic has felt they were "different" and that they didn't fit in with other people. Even if they were one of the most popular people in their social group while growing up and outwardly appeared well-adjusted, inside they still felt "different." This feeling gradually matures and the alcoholic will increasingly feel contempt for society as a whole and inside their head, become more and more psychologically distanced from people.
For a huge percentage of alcoholics and addicts, using the alcohol or drug helped with these feelings of being different, or as most alcoholics or addicts describe it, "not feeling comfortable in their own skin." So alcohol became the medication they used to soften those feelings, or make them go away entirely. (on a temporary basis) And make no mistake - on a temporary basis, it worked.
I drink so I can talk more. When I am straight and in a party I don't say too much but get me drunk and I am the life of the party, we haw! I use alcohol to help me feel happy when I am sad. I drink, so I don't feel so depressed. I drink, so I can tell people how I really feel. I have a hard time telling people my feelings, or if they upset me, unless I am wasted. I then can tell them off. LOL. I drink so I am not bored and lonely. I drink to get rid of painful feelings, or pain. I drink to feel good. I use drinking to calm my nerves. See I have many reasons why I like to drink and why I enjoy it, Ah!
Yes, it is temporary because in the morning I feel hung over, but the feelings are still there, it only helped for a little while, until the next morning, when I was hung over the toilet again , praying to God, saying.. I am never going to drink like that again..Then that same night, guess what I did. I drank that way again. This went on for a long time.
This is why I needed more to drink, because after the affect wore off, I needed more booze to feel good. So yes drinking works on a temporary basis. I agree.
I drink so I can talk more. When I am straight and in a party I don't say too much but get me drunk and I am the life of the party, we haw! I use alcohol to help me feel happy when I am sad. I drink, so I don't feel so depressed. I drink, so I can tell people how I really feel. I have a hard time telling people my feelings, or if they upset me, unless I am wasted. I then can tell them off. LOL. I drink so I am not bored and lonely. I drink to get rid of painful feelings, or pain. I drink to feel good. I use drinking to calm my nerves. See I have many reasons why I like to drink and why I enjoy it, Ah!
Yes, it is temporary because in the morning I feel hung over, but the feelings are still there, it only helped for a little while, until the next morning, when I was hung over the toilet again , praying to God, saying.. I am never going to drink like that again..Then that same night, guess what I did. I drank that way again. This went on for a long time.
This is why I needed more to drink, because after the affect wore off, I needed more booze to feel good. So yes drinking works on a temporary basis. I agree.
I learned early in my sobriety that one of the things that seperates me from the so called "Normal Drinker" is that alcoholics like me Always have a reason for our drinking.
The "Normal Drinkers" do not need a reason and they can stop when ever and where ever they want to. I don't understand "Normal Drinkers" and thier thinking, I never will I guess, but I can observe thier drinking behavior.
It's vastly differen't then mine was.
Larry, ---------------- Be as enthusiastic about aa as you were about your drinking
