My ex husband lived most of his life going in and out of prision, when he was out of prision, which usually lasted a few months, he would drink, do drugs, like pot and he would go live on the streets. This guy was not dumb and when he wanted to have a job, he did work, but that never lasted long. He had book smarts though. So he wasted his talents on drinking and getting high, only to die.
I had to stay with him a few times and I wanted to be in my nice warm apartment. I hate 80 below weather, so we slept in a van. He could not come back to my apartment because the land lord said he caused way too many problems and was not welcomed back, this was because of his drinking and drug use. So when he wanted to see me I had to go to him. This meant sleeping in a back of a tiny van, and man it was cold. 10 blankets and I still froze me bum off.
He would pawn my things for money to buy for his drugs. I come home one day to find my entire CD collection and computer gone. I was not too happy.
He took off with my car. I didn't know until I went to the parking lot and my car went missing. I thought oh, God he has my car and I know he always drank while driving. My keys were gone to. Come to find out, he took my car and hit a pole, thank God it wasn't a person. He came in with brusies all over his body. He didn't make much sense and I could tell he was still wasted.
He was the volient drunk. He beat me up when he felt like it.
He even crawled down the street on his hands and knees while their was a parade going by outside, he crawled out of a trash can. He still kept drinking. We were in church once and he stood up and pointed at the preacher man and said the F word to him. That is how drunk he was.
He beat me up while I was pregnant with his child. His mom said I desereved it. I don't believe I did.
My ex husband told the police I stole a car which is not true, he did and I had to deal with the cop. I never did have to go to court because I never stole a car, but my ex was drunk and trying to blame me of something that is a very serious thing to the law, which I never did.
I had to stay in many shelters because I lost my place, trying to be with him, then he had no where for me to go. This is not fun while pregnant. This was years ago that I speak of. My child is 16 now.
This guy tried to kill me, put a bed in front of the hotel door, and had some razor blades and said I think I will take your life to, then he laughed at me, while drunk.
Anyway, I was not with him when he died but I got a call from my Grandma, she said Jeff is in the hospital and it does not look good he is going to live.
He died because he got drunk again, he left behind a little girl. He got into a fight with 3 guys, who were also drunk and homeless, they beat his head in and he died in a coma. When I drink booz.. I keep thinking of this man and I don't want to end up like him, what a sad way to die. I hope this true story may help someone because one drink leads to the above.
(((((Tina))))) You're right that is a very very sad story. No one should ever have to live that way or go thru that...but you already have.
I have a suggestion for you. Copy your post here over to the Al-Anon board where the wives, family, friends and associates of alcoholics who have been negatively affected by another persons drinking and using meet and discuss what happened, what they have found out and what they do today to have a different better life.
I think that will help you alot too because it sounds like you're qualified for that room also, like myself. I hope to see you there and the responses you will get from the membership. Hugs
Welcome Tina! Thanks for sharing from your heart with a powerful message.Only by the grace of God goes any of us in recovery.We are only one bad decision (one drink,one drug) away from similar situations.Those of us who made it here and thru hard work,have stayed,know this is a message that we can never go back or we will die.I also am a member of Nar -anon (no implied endoresement),as I have a 24 year old son,in recovery from IV heroin abuse.My mom's was a closet Alcoholic and I was blessed with the disease.I agree,I would suggest finding a room to free your pain and follow the solutions to a new way of life, our steps,traditions and concepts!We keep what we have by giving it away so your story can be a message to others that "they don't have to live like this anymore.Come to complete admission and surrender our 1st step,the only step that tells of the problem ,,you can then go forward to work in the solutions the next 11..Stick around let us know how you are doing.I wish you peace...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
You never have to feel this way again. I concur with Jerry F's suggestion of Alanon. They can help and Alateen is available to help your daughter as well. The local groups can be found in your phone book.
Larry, --------------------- "your past is like a rear-view mirror -- if you look at it too long you will crash
Your story really touched me. I am not an alcoholic, but I am a very grateful member of Al-anon. I agree with Jerry. Your story can be on the Al-anon board as well and it would be wonderful to welcome another sister into the fellowship.
You have gone through so much and I am sure that you will find many who have a story similar to yours.
Mine isn't the same, but I did realte to your post. Living with active addiciton isn't easy and when I look back at what I went through I am amazed that I am still here. Even more amazing is that my 3 beautiful children are who they are today.
Hope to see you on the other board. There is much experience, strength and hope for you. So come and get it :)
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
