Disclaimer: This is not my writing but it is interesting and as an Alcoholic I can identify with it.
Larry, -------------------
The Alcoholic And Constant Rationalization/Justification
The alcoholic can rationalize and justify anything and everything.And since their behavior is often quite bizarre, this tends to become a full-time job.If they get put on notice at work, it's somebody else's fault.If they get into a fight or an argument, it's the other person's fault.No matter what happens, the alcoholic will always find someone or something to point the finger at.Yet while they may be convincing to others that someone else is to blame for everything that's wrong in their life, deep down inside they know the truth and they carry the burden of guilt about it, which further adds to their low self-esteem.Again, another continuing negative cycle.
The key point here is that by default, the alcoholic always looks outside of themselves for the cause of their problems.That's why it's not until they've pretty much hit rock bottom, they realize that the problem isn't outside, it's inside.Given enough time, at least half of all the words that come out of an alcoholic's mouth will be words used to rationalize, justify, or defend what everyone but them can see is their addiction.
Larry, Thanks for posting that. I agree with it and it's poignant to not only my day, but uncovering Character Defects.
Last week I spoke with a client who said two key things to me in response to my proposal; 1) You cost too much. Your competitor costs $XX.XX, not $XXX.XX. I want you to cost $XX.XX 2) I want your boss to write and voice my ads because she is one of my customers and understands my business.
My response was "I'll ask and get back to you." and while I did talk to my boss I did NOT follow-up with the client. Today my boss asks "So, have you talked with Client since we spoke last?" "Nope." "Why?"
The "rationalized" reasons that I had put that client lower on my priority list and not followed-up were: 1) It's not fair to make money from an account and do none of the work. 2) That client is always a power-struggle and I don't like those types of clients. 3) With that client it's all about quantity not quality. 4) My XX% of $XX.XX isn't worth the effort. I have larger prey I can catch with less work.
As an alcoholic and inherent liar I replied with #1. As an angler and outdoorsman I also replied with #4.
Boss and I bitched a little, she took the client away from me and I went out to my van to get the file. She followed me outside so we could un-f**k our heads.
She said, "You pissed me off because I feel like you're a teenager who won't take out the garbage until I take away your XBox! Why haven't you REALLY called this client?" and I looked at the sky for a minute and replied with the Truth.
"Pride. When the client asked for you to write all the copy because you knew her business better than I do, I felt rejected on a personal level. That was arrogant. I was wrong to make you waste energy nagging me and not following your orders. It was also wrong of me to let my arrogance affect the station's revenue stream. Here's the file."
We talked some more, made nice and then I called the client to let them know that my boss would be calling her on Monday.
So yeah...we alcoholics are much more inclined to rationalize and justify (AKA; lie to ourselves) than to face ourselves and our behaviors truthfully.
I guess that's where Working The Program comes in, eh?
