Never talk about this, very personal, and also did not "feel good" about it.....for Medical reasons, I have had to stay away from crowds of people,which of course rules out AA Meetings, have only gone to some on Sundays where I know the attendance is very low....
But for the last 2 weeks reconnected with my old friend, and Sponsor too, and we have been going to a lot of good quality meetings. With it being late Spring early Summer have the green like to be in places with crowds of people.....
You can imagine how much isolation that can lead to and it did, but I had a few friends that I stayed connected to, not many, one in the Program, and not the others.
What caught my eye this morning, I was looking out this particular window, and was noticing how the branch had grown, and the way the Sun was shining on it, and the same blue sky behind the branch. and it gave me almost a little chill, or something, it was like there had been no time in between, but ah ha, yes the branch had grown....
So just feeling such a sense of relief, all is well....
Telling on myself, well not really, dont know if any one wants to know what medical condition would prevent me from going, so dont ask, I wont tell, hhahahhha, just a play on words, like Dont ask, Dont tell, get it?
Love and Hugs,
Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Wednesday 12th of May 2010 07:22:02 PM
I will not ask so don't tell me. For alcoholics like me isolation is a very bad thing. Gives my brain entirely too much freedom and over the years I have found that my mind is out to get me on a daily basis. I need to be around sober people to bounce my thoughts off of them. We are all crazy at times but thank god we are not all crazy at the same time.
There is a huge differance between isolation and staying away from big crowds.
I find that the smaller meetings are far better for me. Because I was an isolationist, a hider, or a person that would f**k it and run. A small meeting is hard to hide and isolate in. A big meeting I can hide in the back and make a hasty retreat when its over. So I seek out small meetings that force me to take a part in.
Another way of staying involved without crowds is telephone meetings. A close friend of mine in the program has become very active in prison meetings. The main problem is most New York prisons will not allow you in for face to face AA. So from his house he has a conferance call telephone AA meeting with prisoners. The format is exactly the same as a face to face meeting but it is done via conferance call on the phone.
Don't know if any of this helps with your situation it is just my experience as I have lived it.
Larry, --------------- Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato
This year I have a different Plan, to have a small meeting in my house, and maybe two others will join in that scenario for the next winter months....in their houses.
Have already started that ball rolling, wish me luck...and yes that blessed telephone. ditto in my thinking, will start looking into phone work, once a week, you have to go and study for a day to really get the accurate script down, but that would help, it is in the winter months.... with the colds and virus' going around when I get restricted. but in my house, that would solve the problem.....
Thanks for thinking of me and responding.
Tonicakes
-- Edited by Just Toni on Wednesday 12th of May 2010 07:41:52 PM
Yay Toni!!! There were indeed a few of us who spent too much time at the "wishing well" and we needed to get up in the saddle and start riding again! The horses were getting lazy and now it's time to get them back in shape. LOL Love you to pieces, and so glad you are having happy AA times now, as am I. Awe.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
