Good Morning, All. It is 8:30am here and I am off work today. Slept in some and slept great last night. No dreams, crazy or scary for the first night in a week or so. Looks like my prayers are being answered. I have a child in the house and a dream or 2 has caused me to wake and upset him.... It's day 20 of sobriety for me. And I still feel awesome. I have yet had the desire to drink. This scares me. I find myself wondering WHEN will it happen. WHEN will that desire return. WHEN will that monkey rear it's ugly head. But then I tell myself as long as it's not today. Its been too EASY and I'm worried when will the HARD part show up....... This early in the game I'm trying to take the AA program with me everywhere I go, especially to work, I work with some real "ya who's!!" who make it difficult some days for me to stay positive and although that negativity still creeps in, I am aware of it, and I believe because I'm aware of it I am for sure on the road of recovery! I attend AA every day, sometimes 2-3 times schedule permitting, and I'm really trying to "hear" what is being said. I read the BB every night before turning in and say my prayers of gratitude that I did not drink "today". I find myself praying for others, practicing drinkers and non, more and more. I look forward to what each sober day has to offer....... I have so much work to do in this program, but it doesn't feel like work, so far it's been a joy and a welcome change. I am ashamed to say I have yet to get a sponsor, I KNOW that's when the REAL work will begin and I'm ready to start that REAL WORK, but where I am there aren't many women that have what I want. Plus I don't trust people. So, I've been sitting back, listening and watching potential sponsors and then pray about it. She will show up when it's time, I know. There are trust issues in my home group, some real sick puppys in there, and I've learned that if you don't want your garbage set on the street then don't put it out at all - sad, isn't it. But that is life........ so ya'll pray for me that I continue on this road of self discovery and that my sponsor steps into my life real soon.....
Thanks for letting me share........ I truly love you all.......
Hey OP:) If everything is great with you today-thats all that matters.
Accept it. If your always looking for the hammer to fall-it likely will when your not looking.:)
Someone told me that you dont have to live in fear and paranoia about the tomorrows. Just live today-enjoy it sober, and watch out for seagulls.
You will find that there will be tests as the days go by. You deal with them when they come, and you will be prepared to deal with them sober, instead of automatically picking up a drink, as we used to do.
When we first get sober, its a whole new ball game. We are so used to living in the old world that sobriety is kinda scary when we find that we are happy. We are not used to it.:)
You keep doin what youre doin. Im sure a sponsor will be put in your path somewhere.
Keep smilin. Youll drive every one nuts.:)
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Congratulations on 20 days sober "op", it just gets better. Yes, you will find the right sponsor, when the time is right. Do you have a phone list of people to call, just in case something comes up?
Keep doing what your doing, reading the Big Book, do you have a Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions yet? Keep thanking Him for each day and remember keep it simple and this is a one day at a time deal.
Ya know, when I wake up in the morning and realize I didn't drink or use yesterday, i'm so grateful. I love the feeling and that feeling keeps me reaching forward.
You are where you are sopposed to be, have faith. You're sponsor will show up probably when you least expect her :)
Sounds to me like you are doing all the right things in the meantime, keep it up!
There is a step board here if you care to join us in working the steps.
And/or if you have any questions in the meantime about working the steps fire away. This is a 'we' program.
stay safe and smilin' today OP, you're worth the fight!
I've heard this over and over and over (of course at every meeting) but yesterday I REALLY HEARD it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. So, simple......... "sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly." So, I will stop being "worried" about WHEN.
So, I will stop being "worried" about WHEN.