I decided earlier to go to a 9pm discussion meeting, and a relative (Al Anon) was over at about 7 as I was starting to "get ready".... when she left I realized I was getting ready for an 8pm meeting... hmmm... so I said, "hey, I'll just go to the 8pm meeting and get home to relax a little earlier, what the heck."
I get there and there is an old friend of mine who never ever ever comes down this way, always goes to meetings on the other side of town. She has 16 years. She was crying her eyes out, adn sitting in the back, very peculiar. I went to her and pulled up a chair next to her and she said, "I can't talk about it right now or I'll lose it. How are you?" I told her I was getting a divorce and that I had relapsed a month ago. She said I looked healthy and content, considering what had been happening lately in my life.
The lead meeting started (about 60 people there) and she could not focus, and I could tell. She asked me if we could go outside and talk. I said, "How about we head to my apartment, it is a few blocks away?" She said sure, that she'd like to see my Scouty again anyway (she and I share a bonafide obsession with animals, and she has rescued many).
We got ot my place and she started to tearfully tell me about a man at work who got fired last year. She took over his position as president of mutual funds at their company. The man was a multi-millionaire, had everything money could by, and was extremely obsessed with "outer appearances". They remained friends on some level. He was always telling her how she should build a home in his neighborhood, etc... but she remarked that she is not into that stuff, the "outer appearances" stuff and that she was happy where she's at with her animals and her foster daughter than she adopted at age 13 who is now 18 (God love her!!).
This man started drinking alcoholically, and my friend and him and another person in the business met for lunch. The guy reeked of alcohol from the night before. Long story short, she had been trying for about the past 6 months to help this man, but he could never get past the appearances part. His wife took the kids and left. My friend suggested at one point that he sell his home and concentrate on his recovery for awhile instead of suing their company and other things he was dabbling in. The man remarked that he didn't want to sell thsi house because he didn't want people in the neighborhood to "know all his business". (boggled on that one??? as if??)
She scheduled a professional intervention for this man. He went ot a treatment center that he thought was up to his "standards" for 28 days. He continued to drink after getting out.
My friend stopped by after not hearing from him awhile back and found him in his kitchen unconscious, his head split open and blood everywhere. He survived. She continued to try to help him, and he remarked several times to her, when she would try to open the Big Book, "I don't need that God-sh&t." Self will run riot.
Today his exwife called my friend and told her that he had died at the age of 42. He drank himself to death. Alcohol poisoning.
Please pray for my friend, as she is going through what could be expected in a situation like this. A whole lot of "what if's" and "I could've-I should've" kind of stuff. His family needs our prayers too.
I was there at the meeting for a reason tonight. HP directed me where to go and I went. And at a tender 30-something days sober, I was able to provide aid and comfort for a long-timer who is my friend. Amazing how God works. When I problems seem to daunting and overwhelming. When I feel so worthless because of the "time in AA thing. It is all bullsh&t. We each only have today, and at one day sober, we have shoulders big enough for another to cry on.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Very sad, but a great example of how bad it can be. As the BB says there are those that can not be reached. Great effort on your friends part! Also providential that you were there! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I got a hug before my morning home meeting and the hugger mentioned she lost her alcoholic/addict dad of Friday due to the disease and a friend on tuesday to prescrip drugs overdose. There were a lot of alive and still kicking sober people in the meeting...birthdays of 27 years, 14 year, 7 years, 2 years and a month. Then I read the newspaper that the pro-pot people are trying to gather the mothers of the nation to get behind legalization of marijuana saying it is not as harmful and deadly as alcohol. It was a good meeting and I'm still powerless.
Thanks Joni!, "there will be many that just won't hear!.God definitely brought you to the spot to be with your friend,in His will and His way.I will continually carry the message each day even though I know there will be many who will not hear!WE ARE ALL ALWAYS "ONE BAD DECISION AWAY" from the ones who couldn't make it!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Larry, ---------------- My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.
Goes back to a recent discussion here where an old-timer claimed that he had no use for people with less sober time than he has. He can do as he likes, but I find that a sad conclusion when EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF AA has something to offer anyone, anywhere, and at any time.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
