Hiya Oblong, great question. You'll hear people say that they're grateful alcoholics. I'm one of them. I know that that sounds nuts or corny, but it's true. B/c I am an alcoholic, I have been able to find this great 12-step AA program and fellowship. It's filled a void that has always existed in my life. Had I not been an alkie, I never would have discovered this.

I'm not ashamed anymore. I used to be, before I found AA. That said, I don't broadcast it. Doing so would hurt others (i.e. my family) as we need to deal with many normies who simply do not understand alcoholism. My family would suffer repercussions if it went up in neon signs that I was. Kind of like your friend's reaction at the wedding, I guess.

You'll meet some folks who are proud to tell everyone that they're alkies, which is their choice, too.

Steve

non alcoholics are tedious boring people, we rock

Cmon, think, just about every single interesting person in history was one of us, from Winston Churchill to Alexander The Great to just about every single interesting person alive now, and I'm not talking about that group of G***er tra**s that all get DUI's and go to rehab and have naughty videos on the intraweb. They are uninteresting trailer trash, I'm talking about INTERESTING intelligent people.

Winston Churchill when confronted walking around the White House naked by Roosevelt

"As you see sir, I have nothing to hide"

and when confronted about drinking:

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

and when questioned by THE KING about his drinking habits:

When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast.



I'm sure by now from reading my posts you learned I got sober pretty young, my friends are fantastic interesting HONEST people that travel the world on motorcycles, lived on the streets with Mohawks then went and got masters and PHD's, they have all had interesting lives (to put it mildly) when drinking and WAY more interesting lives sober. I have met and count among my friends film makers, actors, comedians musicians, and Pro athletes and there is a good chance you have heard of some of them, or the movies/teams/bands they were in/on

Alcoholics are fun people, are in many cases above average in intelligence and earning capability, the very thing that made us interesting was our downfall though. Curiosity and sheer cheek.

I can barely tolerate non-alcoholics and definitely can't have any sort of in depth relationship with a normie, platonic or otherwise, we just speak a different language.

Finding out I was an alcoholic and finding recovery was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

gonee wrote:

---

Hi Oblong,
I was not ashamed. In fact I started to advertise the fact that I was an alcoholic. For the first time in my life I got the correct diagnosis for my condition. All the people I know, know that I am an alcoholic.
A sober, recovering alcoholic is a walking advert for God's grace upon a sick individual. Those that scoffed at my alcoholism, have come back to me after all these years to be my friend. I just used the steps of recovery. My feelings and other peoples opinion did not matter to me. If I meet somebody for the first time, I tell them about my alcoholism and recovery at the earliest possible moment. They feel comfortable with me, because I do not pretend and they end up sharing their unmanageable lives with me. My non-alcoholic friends used to attend meetings with me and they know all my alcoholic friends and the friendship circle just gets bigger.
Don't be ashamed. You should be overjoyed that you found a solution to your problem.

---

Gonee,

 You sure brought back a memory to me with your post when you said:

"For the first time in my life I got the correct diagnosis for my condition."

I finally had an answer to the question people always asked me. The question was:

"What in hell is the matter with you?" Before AA I had no answer to that question.

Larry,
---------------------------
An AA meeting is where losers get together to talk about their winnings

 

Aloha Oblong...I also am not ashamed by being alcoholic...I am also tuberculic...catholic
portugese and male (the last one a very serious condition).  I was born and raised in the
influence of alcohol from inside of my family.  I had no choice who my parents were or
what was passed on to me.   Before I got to AA I  was only a member of the Al-Anon
Family Groups...that section of recovery for the family, spouses, friends and associates of alcoholics and we use to read the AMA definition of alcoholism before every meeting.
AMA = Amercian Medical Association.  It was there that I came to accept the disease
concept of alcoholism and also that my alcoholic wife was not a bad person but a very
sick one.   I am ashamed of things I did while under the influence of alcohol and the
disease  (two connected and different things...for me).  I made amends for an apologized
to many for what I did during my drinking life.  So the program has 1. helped me to
stop drinking entirely and 2. cleared up the wreckage of my past.

In support of our recovery.   (((hugs)))

-- Edited by Jerry F on Saturday 1st of May 2010 08:47:44 PM

Hi Jennifer,

First I want to say how happy that that woman was your first AA friend, you will always remember her, and hope you two have a great AA friendship.

About that word Shame, well you used ashamed.....but I believe that when you get into the Steps, and in Step 4, is where I found that was where all the shame of the disease was sitting, and the older stuff,  I call that now, old toxic shame...
But that is where I found I learned the most about that particular negative emotion.....

If I do something that is in a grey area, yes I feel shame, that is the Primary reason we have Step 10, to go back and redo, or undo the mistake right away, and now wait to do it, thats a biggy.

Today I never feel that emotion, or very very rarely.....
If I set a standard to high for myself and then dont accomplish that, I will feel a nudge from that emotion, but I forgive myself right away, for I still have that bad habit of expecting too much from myself.

As far as what others think of Recovering Alcoholics, well that is their business, not mine....

As as Turningrey said, I agree, without AA, and the difficult work and challenges that we go through, I also believe that I am a better person for being an alcoholic..always working in the Recovery......than I would have been without this awesome Program.....I prety much always assume that is what is behind the meaning of that word you'll hear so often, Greatful Alcoholic....I am very Greatful to God, for giving me a chance at a new life....And always Greatful to AA, for showing me how to live this new life. 

Hugs to you and happy to see that you got such a great response to this Post. It was a great Post, thank you.

Hugs, Toni

-- Edited by Just Toni on Saturday 1st of May 2010 11:45:35 PM

Oblong, the disease concept is not just a concept, it is real. The American Medical Association has considered it a bonafide illness- DISEASE, in fact, for 40 years or more now. Cripe, there are t.v. series running about the DISEASE of addiciton now, and addiciton is featured as a DISEASE on talk shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil..... Lawyers and surgeons and politicians have it, moms and hard working construction guys and family people and accountants and artists and musicians and yes, the homeless.... they all have a DISEASE called alcoholism, and if you read "More about Alcoholism" and "The Doctor's Opinion", both are early chapters in the Big Book, you will see how people who are brilliant in business and career and culture are somehow strangely irrational and "insane" when it coems to alcohol and the obsession with it. There is no shame in it, although it takes a while to figure that out and really internalize that you are fighting an bonafide illness.

That is precisely one of the tricky ways alcoholism works, too. It convinces us that we are worthless pieces of crap, which facilitates more drinking. Clever, eh? It evolves, this disease of the mind (and BODY and spirit) and finds clever ways of assuring its survival in you and in me, so that we will continue to succomb to it, just like a virus.

Get into more study of the disease process of it, and you will find yourself really starting to be able to treat YOURSELF like you are recuperating, and giving yourself a break instead of being mean to yourself. (I know the being mean to self thing SOOOO well, believe me!)

Do you somehow find yourself "loving" the people you meet here, in spite of their challenges and some of the relapses and pain and mistakes they make? Even though they make mistakes, and have lived horrific lives, do you still find yourself loving these people? Well then, you MUST love yourself and forgive yourself and treat yourself as you would a sick friend. If I were sick, you would not think mean things about me or call me irresponsible or bad or a jerk or a pathetic pile of doodoo, would you? No, you would probably bring me some chicken soup, and a card, and fuss over me to make sure I am getting my rest and filling my mind with good healthy positive things, so I could get better.

YOU do the same for you, treat yourself well and start to heal, and let yourself heal, my friend. Give yourself a hug, and let yourself get the same respect that you would give me or anyone else here. And one last thing, if I were struggling, you would not hand me a drink. So don't hand yourself one either.

This is the best way I know how to explain the disease thing, knowing that it is an ILLNESS has changed my life for the better, mentally AND spiritually.

Love and hugs,
Joni



-- Edited by jonijoni1 on Sunday 2nd of May 2010 11:44:30 AM

Ashamed. Hmm. Interesting question on so many levels.

Pre-AA I felt ashamed of my damaged self and became a clumsy master of disguise. I wasn't a hurt little boy...I was a violent raging drunk. I soaked my shame like the worm in a tequila bottle.

In early AA I felt raw, open shame for my defects and my wrongs. Some amends REQUIRED that I feel some of the pain I put others through.

Through AA I learned the power of humility; the strength of a yielding reed that a rigid stick doesn't have. Shame cannot strike one who has purged their arrogance.

Currently I carry no shame for deeds & defects I have identified, surrendered for removal or amended in current, up-to-date stepwork.

Currently I carry no shame for my disease. If I am properly voiding my Self and preparing my Self to be an empty vessel for God/Tao/It to do with me as It wills; I have no shame...or any other dark material within me which my alcoholism can use to bring me closer to drinking again.

I am a little ashamed of sounding like a poorly-written monk character in a bad friggin' Kung-Fu flick

Peace,
Rob