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Post Info TOPIC: 4am and I'm a mess,,
Dodsworth


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4am and I'm a mess,,
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the last 3 weeks have been pretty bad, even to my standards 
(which isn't sayin much considering AA groups). I drove drunk and broke through some dude's fence (Badly), had multiple fights with a certain person and just have drank really bad since. A 5th of vodka without a sweat (no pun intended), that was worrisome. Drank a half a 5th tonight and about 8 beers. Thing is, im not really fucked up. THAT is fucked up. I want to quit drinking, but I can;t. Simple-  don't know what to do.


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FlyingSquirrel


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Hmmm try hitting knees and saying the 3rd step prayer.  Page 63.  5 cents, please!

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StPeteDean


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http://www.thebeachcomberrehabilitation.com/index.html

This is one of many Rehab facilities in Del Ray Beach, FL. A friend of mine went to that town to attend a rehab, got sober and stayed in that town. It's really worked for him after relapsing for about 15 years in and out of AA.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 1st of May 2010 05:52:12 AM

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pinkchip


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I agree with Dean :) I have stated this before in relation to you Adam. Literally almost stated to come to Delray which is a half hour a way from Ft. Lauderdale where I live. Yes...I think you need rehab again WITH a geographic. Just my thoughts and I could be wrong of course, but doing nothing aint gonna help either so... If you do go to Delray, send me a PM, as I would visit you in rehab.

Mark

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Reffner


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First thing that comes to my mind is, when you've had enough pain you'll (hopefully) make the decision to let it go before it's too late. I remember in my past being exactly where you are, and knowing that there was NO WAY I could ever stop drinking. I was different then the others. My alcoholism was worse than there's ever was. It finally dawned on me (while strapped down to a bed in the psych ward on suicide watch) that I could not go on, and that I was also failing miserably at ending my life, so it was time let God take it from me. I was one of those lucky who had a "bright light" experience. I CAN be done if it's what you want more than anything else. You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend.

God bless... Brian

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Larry_H


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I agree with Flying Squirrel and with Dean,

You might want to hit your knees and ask for the willingness to stop drinking and go to rehab.

You said you "don't know what to do"  The answer is in the Big Book

Larry,
-----------------
Bring the body and the mind will follow


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jonijoni1


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Dodsworth, please get medical help immediately. With the quantities you are consuming, it is time to go to detox and then treatment. You have reached a point which is "alcoholic pergatory", where you can neither get drunk nor stay sober. I will pray that a Higher Power opens your heart to treatment so that you can live, and not die an alcoholic death. Happiness awaits you. You just have to abandon your alcoholic self to the care of others. Please read my signature at the bottom of this page. It is true.

Joni


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SteveP


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Dods, you've got some great advice from Dean and Mark, who sound like they're in the same locality as yourself, so I can't add to that. I would never underestimate the importance of a detox.

I do know that I relapsed earlier this year...what got back was getting back and really working this programme pronto, being absolutely honest with myself that there is nothing that I can do to stop drinking, but that if I hand my life over to God (as I understand God) and work this programme, then God won't let me drink. I finally got into my thick skull that if I just do what's the in Big Book and work with my sponsor, and don't overcomplicate things, then, it will do what it says on the label: God will restore me to sanity.

Keep coming back.

Steve

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Just Toni


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Hey Dods,

What jumped out at me was this:

"I drove drunk and broke through some dude's fence (Badly)"
Well there is a big Yet for you, right, did not hit or mame or kill anyone, YET....

All the suggestions you are getting you have heard so so so many times.....before, you ignore all if it and keep drinking.

I had reached a point in my Relapses were I could not stop, I remember that as the "GRIP of the Disease" maybe that is where you are when you say "I want to quit drinking, but I can't. Simple-" 

If that is the case you might just be in one of the more advanced stages......very serious stuff....This Powerful and Cunning and Baffling Disease that WE ALL SHARE does not discrimate about age, or anything else. I had been in a long Replapse mode for about 7 years, and I was no where near as young as you are, dont even think I drank at all when I was at the age you are at now............... but I came very close to my own death, that is how I feel about where the Disease took me.....and just because you are a very young man, you drink like I did in those last hazey stages.....

Have you ever done any research on the Stages of Alcoholism, the Progression of this disease does have 'stages" to it.

We all care about you and want for you what we have, that is for sure, but if you dont want it.....what can be said.

My own suggestion would be to see a Professional person that knows about how to deal with the place you are at, and make recommendations as far as Detox......or what they can do to bring this endless cylce you are in....out into the Sunlight, and get some help for you.......you deserve to have a life Dod's, my friend.... 

I will keep you in my Prayers Dods....Toni






-- Edited by Just Toni on Saturday 1st of May 2010 05:39:59 PM

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turninggrey


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Dods,
I agree with JT above....................yet..........................its waiting for you. Even if you are just going through the motions drop to your knees and ask for help. You may get an answer. (You actually did get an answer from SP Dean above--that is an option)

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ladnertim


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Hey Dodsworth...I am very new to this forum but I have a few days of sobriety and have been a very grateful member of AA as well.

I recall the days before I found sobriety. They sound very much like what you are going through now. You need to put sobriety first and foremost. You need to ASK for help. You also truly need to follow the advice of the others here and get to the closest meeting and if necessary find a 12 step rehab where you will be surrounded by recovery...

I also agree with the poster who recommends the Step 3 prayer...say it and ask for the help it is on page 63. Every problem can be answered in the Big Book. In fact all you have to do is read the first three words of page 112.

If you can give this up to your Higher Power it is amazing what the result could be! I will pray for you my friend and I look forward to reading you have received the help you so direly need.

John in Canada

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Just Toni


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Hi Again Dods,

For some reason I was thinking about you and that Post you made several months ago, when you were Sober, it was the first time we, (you and I) had met...remember it well, might go try to find it.

Hope that all that was written was taken as sent with a lot of love......you are a great guy.......with a really bad Disease....

Hugs and hope today is better that yesterday.

Please let us hear how things are going, ok???

Toni

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