AA old-timers would be mystified today to hear program members talk about people pushing their buttons. (They can't get your goat if they don't know where it is tied) This expression wasn't around when the early AA members pulled themselves out of the swamp and began their long journey to sobriety.
But they had their buttons pushed aplenty. Dr. Bob, treating alcoholics at St. Thomas Hospital; heard snide comments from other physicians who resented giving bed space to drunks. Bill W. struggling to launch a worldwide movement, took most every alcoholic, then and now, gets some heavy kidding from the world of drinkers.
What is the real problem in these instances? Are others pushing our buttons, or do we set ourselves up for this by being sensitive and vulnerable? Nobody could push our buttons if we didn't have buttons to push.
We no longer have to worry about button-pushers if we accept them as they are, realizing that we don't need their approval and can't really be hurt by anything they do or say. Our serenity in the face of such problems may actually serve to attract people to AA.
Nobody can push my buttons unless I let them. Today I'll be serene and clam no matter what others say and do. Thanks to the program, I'll not worry about certain individuals who try to get under my skin.
lol, you mean like when hazeldon who make money off of people trying to recover by riding on the coat tails of AA refers to bill and bob as coming out of a swamp?
there's respect for you
lol
truly though if I get upset and a button gets pushed, it's my button, even if it is an asinine disrespectful statement like "pulled themselves out of the swamp" which I actually thought was kind of amusing
I'll not worry about certain individuals who try to get under my skin.
Best thing I learned was people don't do it "to me" they are just doing it because they don't know any better
I learned it's not all about me, in most cases, it has nothing to do with me as I am not that important, recovery meant learning I am not the piece of shit the world revolved around
-- Edited by AGO on Tuesday 27th of April 2010 07:37:48 AM
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Drat! I tried to reply but it ate my response. Buttons not pushed however.
Gotta ask: Who or what is Hazeldon? I thought it was where someone lived, like a town or something, but now I think I might be wrong.
Anyhow, I have always considered that when someone "pushes your buttons" it's often because they have hit too close to home and you don't want to think about what they are saying, or that they are inadvertently probing something that is a sore spot for you.
In my ED group (Eating Disorders, not Erectile Disfunction. This has caused much unnecessary confusion) a lot of girls end up freaking out after dealings with their mothers. They can trigger them like no one else. My response has always been, "Of course she pushes your buttons! She's the one who installed them!" I can't remember where I stole that from but I found it wonderfully apt.
Hazelden is treatment industry literature that uses a lot of sources including AA but is not AA nor even endorsed by AA or on our approved reading, it is a money making enterprise that some like and use but many don't.
It's not AA
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life