Every time the phone rang today my heart leapt up into my chest. False Positive? Real Positive? Real Positive and Really Bad? It rang. Results may take up a WEEK!!!! GGGGrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
Not in a good place. I know...could be worse...LOTS worse. We all want perfect, healthy kids and that's what we pray for from the second the strip turns blue until we're sure the cord is where it belongs. We don't have it so bad, I know. Stephen Hawkings parents had it bad.
The waiting is the worst. I'm getting edgy. I sat in the grocery store parking lot banging my head on the steering wheel and bawling my eyes out. When I got my composure and went into my newly-remodeled local grocer I grab a couple of cantalope, turn the corner and WHAM...Fifty Feet of Spirits that weren't there three days ago. My balls tightened up into my throat like when you shine your flashlight into the woods at night and see two blue reflections and they're both facing forward...and you never heard them coming. The local grocer used to only sell beer & wine and it was easy to avoid that aisle by just not buying smokes there and going to a different register. Right after the PRODUCE!? What kind of sick f**k puts the Shortcuts To Sh*tfaced right after the damned PRODUCE!!!!
Anyway. We still don't have the lab results back and my wife wants me to start working again, at least half-days. Work is cool with that. They miss not only my $$, but my self, as well.
Just grateful to God for another sober day. Gotta go - family needs to be fed!
Be Patient - the up side is that if the medicos aren't running round like Alex Kingston on ER (I need a cup of tea STAT! or whatever the hell it is she bawls.) then chances are this isn't life threatening.
Two examples. I got back from Germany to find my missus in tears because her cervical smear showed an odd result - it was a month after the test before she had a follow up appointment and turned out it wasn't life threatening or even serious. Contrast this with my best buddy, 15 years or so ago, we were talking and I was telling him a funny story about me finding a lump in one testicle. That was Saturday night, on Monday he's in the hospital and the following day they're taking his right one off. Now that wuz life threatening.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
((((Rob))))....I once was traveling to a service position I had held for a while and was attempting to do with fatigue and confusion and more and me and my Ford were making the highway from an on ramp when that alert signal that every radio station sends out to test the emergency system came on the air. "Weeeeeeep" and then "This is a test, it is only a test" and everything went to balance for me. I found myself grateful that I could have my recovery tested and I remembered some words of widsom given to me from the program, "If its a good one it should be tested." After a while the test become welcomed, much more than complacency.
Stay the course you got a gang standing with you and a Higher Power.
There is nothing like waiting by the phone to incite madness. I think bikerbill had a good point though. If it's something that can wait a week to get a diagnosis, it could definitely be far worse.
Think of it this way. Your situation keeps mine in perspective today, and someone else's could keep yours in perspective. There is always someone better off and always someone worse off.
I have to say that I laughed at your line, "What kind of sick f**k puts the Shortcuts To Sh*tfaced right after the damned PRODUCE!!!!" Pure poetry my friend. Too true. Asshats.
Yo AM, Its like a time warp. You can't relax, you can't smile, you can't joke--or so you think. There is nothing fun about this, but.................If she has this situation for the long run, she is going to need you healthy. To stay healthy, you are going to have to maintain an even strain. Go to work half days. Bring home chinese food and ice cream for the wife and other kid. (You won't be that hungry but pretend to be for them) And I know you are praying--Your HP is driving right now, and you never know the plan. More prayers to you my friend. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
