ok, I am getting nervous. My sponsor is out of the country, I am getting strong urges to drink, maybe not today but I feel like it's in my plan but not consciously, but I remember in the past this is how the relapses would happen.. in the mind - over time. There will be a big celebration in my life next week, my daughter graduates with a BA (there will be a party) she then leaves for the Pacific Coast May 5th. So much emotion, I am so lonesome & excited & proud & lonesome.......I will miss her so much & I know his emotion is healthy but I am afraid I will relapse.
Words of wisdom... anyone? I'll stay on the message board and wait for something.
Way to go Carlotta.Get with God and people in recovery.Share where your at and get someone to work with you while your sponsor is not available.You are naming the "reservations "that can bring you back to devastation.Hopefully you have people in your support group that can even be with you for the "celebrations",if that is doable.We are going to be surrounded in life by celebrations,and other emotions that life brings.Knowing and seeing yourself coming is an important tool in your arsenal of recovery.This may be a good opportunity to find some things to do,join a gym,take a class at school,find a hobby etc...I don't really have words of wisdom all I have is my experience,strength ,hope of the things that helped keep me sober 'ONE DAY AT A TIME"Projection of whats to come,will definitely keep you on the edge,We can accomodate just about anything in short periods,so by the day ,hour or less, live life with the guidance of your HP,step out on faith and do the "work" (meetings,sponsor contact,service,share from your heart,you'll be okay.God has a plan for you and that is to be all he wants you to be,He'll leave the details up to you.In support,let tomorrow worry about itself.live for today and you'll be okay..Stay focusedLet us know how its going...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hey Carlotta, Carpe diem! One diem at a time. I guess I mean sieze today. Its the most important day of your life so far, because it could be your last. Why not just take quick peeks ahead at the future for the impoirtant events like your daughter's, but not commit to anything but AA functions until you are firmly on your feet sobriety wise. Nothing else matters, because anything non sober will continue the madness. To defeat the madness and have a normalized life you need the sobriety and peace of the program. Hang in there! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Gratitude List; A letter to God. Dear God, Since you & I became friends and I began to be a part of you in my sobriety You have granted me many oppotunities, events, people and moments which I could never have done had I been drinking. Here's a few of the things for which I an Grateful to you for...
By the time I'm done...so is the seed of the relapse.
I once asked a sponsee how much he thought his sobriety was worth in dollars and if I doubled that would he drinking again? He just celebrated 6 years on April Fools Day. He never took the wager even when he was near giving it away for free. How strange a creation we are.
Words of encouragement? What justification could there now be?
-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 25th of April 2010 10:46:04 PM
carlotta, I needed to read your post and see you doing everything that is suggested. Don't drink, go to a meeting, and tell on your disease. You're doing it and I needed to see it tonight.
((((((hugs)))))))
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
ok, I am getting nervous. My sponsor is out of the country,
My sponsor LIVES out of the country at teh moment. we set up a system where i can call him and he can call me. I also hung close to my brothers in the fellowship, just so I had someone to talk to one on one.
I am getting strong urges to drink, maybe not today but I feel like it's in my plan but not consciously, but I remember in the past this is how the relapses would happen.. in the mind - over time.
Sneaky bastards, thoughts.
There will be a big celebration in my life next week, my daughter graduates with a BA (there will be a party) she then leaves for the Pacific Coast May 5th. So much emotion, I am so lonesome & excited & proud & lonesome.......I will miss her so much & I know his emotion is healthy but I am afraid I will relapse.
You know fine well that there is no valid reason to relapse. Today, you have choices - shall I take this first drink or not being a major level of choice. Once you make the choice to not drink, then your head stays clear enought to do the next right thing.
Words of wisdom... anyone? I'll stay on the message board and wait for something.
Thanks All!!
meetings, talking, steps, stay close to your fellows in the fellowship - it works.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
That was really great...everyone....... yes, I did tell on my disease at the meeting & received tremendous support. Thanks everyone for the posts. HALT... gotta watch those emotions, they make me so vulnerable. My meeting last night was a 12 step discussion and I came away empowered to do the dirty...... Step 4. It takes so much energy and time and I have decided to get to the bottom of my constant low grade anxiety. It's there all the time, it's a good day when it doesn't go through the roof but thank God, I am clean & sober and I am not reaching for a tranq when my daughter calls to tell me she needs more money.... ma nerves... I love, love, love the AA people, they are honest, caring, encouraging, smart, insightful.... I love you all ... Carlotta
Let us know how its going...
