Hiya folks. Just checking in. It's so odd. Normally I think I comment a lot and offer support when people are having a rough time, but here I feel a bit intimidated not only because I'm new but because I feel like "Who's going to take the advice of someone who has only been sober nine days?" Probably more my own judgment of myself than anything.
Anyhow, today is so far uneventful. Was craving somewhat last night but it passed. Food continues to be an issue.
I am a bit nervous for my meeting tonight. There is a group that has been recommended to me by a couple of people, but it is two blocks from where my ex-boyfriend lives. (The one I was with for 7 years, who still drinks a lot and was sometimes emotionally abusive). I REALLY don't want to see him. I think it would really upset me. But the thing with NY is that you walk everywhere, so if he's out at that time, it could happen. I have gone back and forth on whether I should give this meeting a shot. But I feel like I shouldn't let him keep me from something good for me. (There aren't any other meetings in the area that I can get to since I work later than most).
/cue music: Your job, should you decide to accept it, is to find the person that can't get 3 days and tell them how you did it, we WILL be monitoring you
Second: Don't let some has been washed up useless "ex" keep you from being where you need to be, the best revenge is living well, nothing better then running into some hack ex with some skanky trollop on his arm that he picked up from The Pyramid Club that since he was drunk in all likelihood has a knocker while you look like a million bux with clear eyes and a smile that emanates from within, then wishing him the best and meaning it.
Things we fear and avoid, we give power over us, he doesn't deserve that kind of power over you, look good, walk tall, and get sober, and when you do run into him you will be like "Pffft, I was afraid of THAT????"
Then you will feel compassion, pity, and forgiveness, and grow just a little bit more, and heal just a little bit more.
Say it with me, "I am woman, hear me roar!"
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
"Who's going to take the advice of someone who has only been sober nine days?"
Only 9 days? 9 days is brilliant Whitewineoh! !! Well Done You!!
Before this fellowship, the most I had ever managed was 3 days in a row! It still is for me only ever one day at a time and your 9 days are every bit as valuable as my years.
I felt very comforted and hopeful listening to the old timers in meetings - amazing, but I also found it extremely helpful to chat with people who like myself weren't ages away from their last drink.
Sharing your own experience strength and hope is the best advice you can give anyone. It comes from doing, not from thinking and this is always best. Keep sharing you are a mirror to my past and I need to be reminded of it frequently.
You are helping me a lot.
Don't let fear of people, places or things prevent you from attending a meeting. One important exception is if there is true danger than go somewhere else. An example of true danger would be crossing Central Park alone at night to go to a meeting. NOT WISE! you may not make it.
In any situation follow your gut instinct. If it doesn't feel right, DON"T DO IT. and follow this up by discussing it with your sponsor.
Larry, -------------------- Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
Yeah, I am actually really happy about the nine days as far as I go, because I honestly didn't remember what the hell it felt like to be sober. I was sober a total of two days in maybe six or seven years. Never made it more than one day before AA. So yeah, I'm pleased about that. I just know that while it feels big to me, I am still in just the very beginning.
Regarding the ex, despite everything that happened, I really don't bear him any ill will. I want him to be happy, to get better himself, etc. I don't think he meant me any harm and I know he loved me to bits, I just came to a point where I knew that though I loved him, he wasn't responsible or grown up enough to build a life with. I'm not afraid of him or anything, it would just be so emotional for me to see him, I really don't want to. (Add to that, that I feel like I look pretty gross right now. All broken out and puffy.)
Anyone ,with even one day can carry the message of recovery! If you think about it,each "new " day we are all newcomers!!none of us have been here before,unless you got time travel down pat..:) Sit down and enjoy the company of those others ,just like you,thank God for where you are now compared to where you were or could be .A sobering thought in itself....thanks for being here.....................
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Only 9 days becomes the foundation of the program to come do number 9 as best you can within the will of your Higher Power and the suggestions of the program and remain teachable; That way you will have something to give as your recovery becomes more solid and experience based. Talk to others in the program and read the Big Book about the emotion of fear and alcoholism. The relationship is not mutually supportive of recovery.
Seems like you are in the "Trust God" stage of the 12steps. Keep on with it. In support
We all "live" in a one day at a time Program of Recovery. And this is a message board too, and so many people read sometimes for a long time, before ever Posting, that is if they do....end up Posting. and I would have to say that anyone new and suceeding at gaining those days together just might be the imputus that would bring them into our little family....Just like Larry said, for anyone with a lot of one day at a times, we always learning over again why we came in, and how truly Blessed we ((ALL- YOU included)) are to be able to Stay...Sober and reaching out to others.
We all need our Peers, and when I was new, I listened to people that had a lot of time, but it was my Sponsor and then the peers that helped me and supported me in this new Journey....
I read your Post the other day about that Womans meeting, made me laugh, I thought to myself, OH NO, A meeting full of sober horse thiefs, and women no less. Well they say it happens but you would never see me returning....ever.
You sound like a very bright person, and you mentioned the word Triggers, and what I always do for myself, no matter what, if something is making me feel uncomfortable, I leave and dont go back. And also as far a slippery places, that does not mean just places where they serve alcohol. We can also have some very healthy fears of what might or probably would set off a trigger, so I would listen to my inside "gut feeling of a lot of things and then listen for my own safety....This Recovery Road as you have heard I am sure, is an "Inside Job" and "To your own self be true"
Hugs and Congratulatings onNine days of Continuous Sobriety, just one day at a time....One Big Deal, from how I see it. Even has a Blue Ribbon feel to it....:)
Sit down and enjoy the company of those others ,just like you,thank God for where you are now compared to where you were or could be .A sobering thought in itself....thanks for being here.....................