. . . harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 5
It has been said, "Anger is a luxury I cannot afford." Does this suggest I ignore this human emotion? I believe not. Before I learned of the A.A. program, I was a slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to negativity, with no hope of cutting loose. The Steps offered me an alternative. Step Four was the beginning of the end of my bondage. The process of "letting go" started with an inventory. I needed not be frightened, for the previous Steps assured me I was not alone. My Higher Power led me to this door and gave me the gift of choice. Today I can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of the Steps, as they cleanse the spirit within me.
Terrible things could have happened to any one of us. We never will know what might have happened to us when we were drunk. We usually thought: "That couldn't happen to me." But any one of us could have killed somebody or have been killed ourselves, if we were drunk enough. But fear of these things never kept us from drinking. Do I believe that in A.A. we have something more effective than fear?
Meditation For The Day
I must keep calm and unmoved in the vicissitudes of life. I must go back into the silence of communion with God to recover this calm when it is lost even for one moment. I will accomplish more by this calmness than by all the activities of a long day. At all cost I will keep calm. I can solve nothing when I am agitated. I should keep away from things that are upsetting emotionally. I should run on an even keel and not get tipped over by emotional upsets. I should seek for things that are calm and good and true and stick to those things.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may not argue nor contend, but merely state calmly what I believe to be true. I pray that I may keep myself in that state of calmness that comes from faith in God's purpose for the world.
Hazelden
(Let it be a God or Higher Power of your own understanding)
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
For me it was the "harbouring" that was the problem. No matter how hard I tried I could not get rid of resentment. I nursed it, I got morbid pleasure out of it and somehow I justified it. I squandered many hours of productive life. When I saw the futility of this for the 1st time when I put it down on paper, I could not deny the reality of it. My good sponsor enabled me to see this truth and so develop, all be it reluctantly, a course of vigorous action to remove resentment. God removed these defects of character, once I was able to identify them. Immediately the power flowed in. It was like opening a valve, which was rusted and blocked. The water and the water pressure were present, but not go past the blockage. The resentment was the rust. I found the rust together with my supervisor[sponsor]. We could not remove it, so we called HP. He asked if I was willing. I affirmed. He removed.
