I heard repeatedly that it will be something like the top of the salt pot coming off that pushes your buttons. How true.
My pal has left for Australia with his child bride, to build a new life. I miss the pair of them already but I offered to foster their cat until they could import her to Oz. It'll be expensive and they need to save up. (seems like a lot of money to provide a fresh meal for a salt water crocodile to me.)
So the cat, Layla, for that is her human name, is possibly the worlds fattest cat. She's the only cat I've ever seen with a beer belly. She's so fat she needs to lean on a wall to wash. She's very shouty and very demanding. She's spent the day rubbing her cheeks on door edges to mark out thatthis is her land.
Then she did it on my Guitar. Argh. Don't do that. (at least she's better behaved than my previous cat, she peed on it.)
But the fluff ball - well I trod on her water dish, got a wet foot, water all over the kitchen floor, up my trouser leg and all the while she ws on the table scarfing up my yoghurt, pink yoghurt all round her chops, looking at me as if I didn't belong there.
Well i lost my rag, shouting at the cat, ranting at the world, not as if it was hte levee breaking was it?
Came to my senses, realised it wasn't the worst thing in the world, there was more yoghurt in the fridge and my trousers will soon dry. Also realise that the cat doesn't respond to shouting (she seemed to find it somewhat satisfying that she'd pressed my buttons) that I should watch where I put my feet and not to leave human food where the cat can get it.
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I offered to foster their cat until they could import her to Oz. It'll be expensive and they need to save up. (seems like a lot of money to provide a fresh meal for a salt water crocodile to me.)
Bill, my sides can't take it anymore. If I had been drinking milk it would have came out my nose. (seems like a lot of money to provide a fresh meal for a salt water crocodile to me.) (LMAO)
Larry ------------------------ We are not a glum lot
Oh man...You & Layla are going to have quite a time together.
should be fun to watch, I have my popcorn out
so far the score is as follows
Fat Cat 1 Bill 0
Those alligators may find they have bitten off more then they can chew if they try to tackle Layla, kitties are often like females that way, they appear vulnerable and fluffy but they are truthfully smarter, more resourceful and better at these games then I am, and can kick my ass without breaking a sweat.
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
As long as you have that cat you might want to get some useful work from it such as cleaning your toilet. Just follow these simple suggestions I found on the internet.
Larry,
Instructions on how to wash your toilet
1. Put both lids up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the loud noises, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the here and the front door.
7. Standing behind as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out out, streak through the room and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Hey Bill, I would just cough up the money and ship the cat down under and let your friends pay you back over time as opposed to "saving" for the shipping. You will live longer. Tom
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Hey Bill, I would just cough up the money and ship the cat down under and let your friends pay you back over time as opposed to "saving" for the shipping. You will live longer. Tom
Ey, it's £2000 to get the cat to emigrate. That's a decent new bike!
The training plan has started. I've bought her a little shovel to keep by the back door so she can bury her mess. She shouts at me and eventually I find out what she wants. If it's a strangeld howl, she wants to go out, then come back in, then go out, then come back in.
I've taken to opening the back door in the morning, shooing (or sometimes shoeing) her out until I've completed my morning ablutions.
Then we get the strangled yowl, where she tells me that it's cold/wet/warm/lonely out there.
Then there's the pitiful mewling, followed by an I'm so weak i could just die flop by the fridge door, which means feed me.
and there's teh bellowing miaow that means I'VE used the litter tray, now YOU need to clean it up.
Occaisonally we get the seemingly contented purr, which means did you want to sit here? Tough, I got here first.
who's training who?
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Female cats are not much different from their human counterparts. I've had a couple of them and not once did I choose to own them, they just showed up. My male siamese cat "Mojo", that i purchased, is very typical of male cats, very emotionally stable, always happy, always affectionate, very given to routines. He's my buddy. My wife's cat, the calico, we hardly speak and she spends most of her time aloof pouting like a queen without a kingdom wondering why Mojo gets all the attention.
HEEHEEE I was told that we never own cats - THEY own US, this I have discovered too, being a cat owner, seems like you have found that out too. Lucky for the poor moggies we are sober eh???
__________________
Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
