Thanks all for the love and support in welcoming me back from the greasey mean streets.
Went to a great meeting tonight with my very best friend and sister in sobriety, Erin. She and her hubby have been sober for close to 10 years and they offered me to come stay with them, bring my dog and all, next time things get shitty here on teh pre-divorce homefront instead of going back to the booze and dope. It is great to have a backup plan like that, and these 2 are long time friends, which have stood the test of time over the past 15 years or so.
I am getting a new sponsor. My sponsor and I discussed it. She has been my sponsor for about 10 years. Problem is, she is too much like a mom for me. I know how to work the angles with her, how to successfully avoid her when I get a mind to, and we are too CODA. What I really need is someone that can give me a swift kick in the ass, because I'm not a little girl anymore. I also need someone who knows about drug addiction. She just can't relate. But it worked while it worked, and I owe her the world and many good years of recovery due to her love and care. But now it's time to move on. She will always stay close in my life though.
I am starting a whole new set of meetings too. I need a fresh outlook on recovery. Thank God there are over 300 meetings every week here in the Akron area. Lots of good stuff to choose from.
I go tomorrow of my own volition to an outpatient treatment assessment at Ignatia Hall. Incidentally, this is the very same "ward" that Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson first used to sober up drunks using the AA principles. How lucky i am to be surrounded by such history and such special places as this.
I am going to get into an outpatient program for 4 weeks where I will go every day for 3 hours of group and individual therapy. I have been in long-term and outpatient treatment beforem, and even worked at a treatment center. But I do this now because I want a place where I am ACCOUNTABLE for the next 30 days. It is the best decision I think I have made since I decided to come home and stay sober a week ago.
Dean, thanks for the advice about exercising the hand manually while thinking it with my brain. It makes a ton of sense to me. I see the best of the best of orthopedic hand specialists on Thursday and look forward to some good news, I hope. Justin, thanks for the report on your hand and what went down as well. Another friend told me about her aunt having done the same thing, and she too recovered fully. I have faith and hope that I will paint again. Even if my hand does not recover, I will paint if I have to tape a paintbrush to my fist! I am not a quitter! Thanks too, Aquaman for your words of encouragement on the ortho subject. I am glad you did not LOSE a limb!!
Well, it is late and I have to get used to trying to get to bed at a decent hour, it is what's GOOD for me. Next week I start my next Online class for my bachelor's, and I look forward to it. It is a bright spot in my day, focusing on something positive that has nothing to do with my problems du jour.
I am probably going to move out of my beautifully aggravating home for good in a month. Looking forward to being on my own again. But, first things first.
Off to bed, taking Kurt Vonnegut with me again. The sarcasm and dark cornball brilliance of his writing does me a world of good right now! (reading cat's cradle and breakfast of champions....)
Love and hugs, Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
That sounds great Joni, my friends in AA have saved me more times then I can count
Cat's cradle is great
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before, He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I love the topic and kept smiling and frowning reading your post - just like life. Thanks for keeping us updated and sharing your life with us. It is powerful.
Wow...sounds like you have been through an ordeal Joni...Just very glad to hear you are on the upswing now, even though things will be hard...it will only get better as you stated. Love you.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Joni, It's great to hear from you. Sorry things are a little chaotic at the moment. Remember; WE share a common problem and WE share a common solution. You are wanted, needed and loved here. Please keep coming back.
Hey Joni, thanks for having been here and thanks for coming back. Love the sound of Kurt Vonnegut doing a world of good. I can relate. When I'm really feeling bad, James Ellroy does the same for me: the same cornball brilliance and sarcasm (helps maybe that he's a self-admitted recovering alkie as well. :)).
So very inspiring, making all the best choices, and staying in that circle of people that let you know you are so cherished and loved. Sorry you have had such a rough time lately....
Sounds like you have made a decision to be the firm lighthouse standing as the storm passes through....and the storms always pass through.
A Big hug, and sending all my love to you my friend.
HEY JONI!!! Good to see you love, and all I can say is if it didn't get better I sure as hell wouldn't still be here!!!
In fact, if my life gets any better than this I doubt I will be able to stand it!! I am so glad I fell through these doors all those days ago and grateful to have met so many friends. Together we can make it.
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
