AA Book pg 53. We Agnostics "When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?"
Born in a Hindu home, I was taught that God was a punishing God and that no amount of sacrifice on my part will ever be able to please him. Therefore when I became an alcoholic I had no consistent understanding of God. My first contact with AA and its fellowship taught me more about God than any amount of theological concepts. Here were a group of people that really cared unconditionally, as sick as they were. That's God's love in action. Through the evidence presented to me by AA, I was very easily able to make this choice. That put paid to years of misery and doubt. Even now when I am faced with a difficult person or situation, the question I hear God asking me, is: Do you want to deal with that person or situation or do you want me to deal with it? I know my choice today, and it has brought me serenity. God bless. Gonee.
I was raised and schooled in the RCC (Catholic). My faith was never lost however I fell into the category of those that didn't feel that God had any power in my life. I tended to take personal credit for all good that came my way and blamed God for those things that didn't go well, which is in total opposition to my previous statement about God not having Any power in my life. What I guess I must have thought was that God was not preventing bad things from happening to me, while I was acting only on my will.
My experience in AA was similar to gonee's. I adapted easily to creating a Higher Power of my understanding, that worked for me. Today I have a daily relationship with that HP and it works very well. more on that later.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 12th of April 2010 08:51:21 AM
in other words, jump off the cliff and ask for help half way down
The key to open that door was "why don't you choose your own concept of God"
I was rabidly anti-christian and atheist, so the idea that I could pick my own concept of God that didn't have to be a Judeo Christian Deity was a totally new concept to me that brought complete freedom. No one insisted I believe in their "God" as long as I willing to believe in a power greater then myself that could restore me to sanity.
As a math student I was learning that there was an underlying totality, a perfection of beauty at work in the world, I could wrap my head around that
So today I am an atheist agnostic with a God that is personal to him, I still don't anthropomorphize my God to the extent of giving God personal pronouns such as he or she because that limits God in my mind.
The wonderful thing is I can be talking with a group of AAers, and there will be christians, agnostics, atheists, buddhists, those of the jewish faith and taoists all talking about God with complete and utter agreement, even Catholics and protestants, lutherans and Presbyterians, while the Christian is talking about the heavenly father and the Buddhist is talking about his buddha nature I am nodding and agreeing with both.
We are all on different rafts crossing the same stream
It's truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, seeing disparate religions, non religions and philosophies in complete and utter agreement, that's God in action to me.
-- Edited by AGO on Monday 12th of April 2010 12:46:37 PM
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I grew up not attached to any religion. I was baptised Catholic but didn't know what that meant. I grew up hoping and praying(on occassion) there was a god but this was out of fear of death and reality. I think I wanted to believe but my sickness would not allow me to turn my own will over. So I never saw gods work in action. I would always steer the boat and take credit when things went well.
What AA has taught me is I'm not responsible for everything that happens around me. Good or bad.... I believe today in a HP that I don't really understand but see his work. I now let my HP steer the boat and I paddle and accept his plan for me today. Instead of needing to see something to believe.. I believe and see.. This didn't come easy but for me it came through our literature. The book a Spritual Awakening: I read a passage that opened my eyes. There is a god.. my spirtual awakening came by reading someone else experience that was just like mine. My spiritual awakening: is the ability to do things I've never been able to do under my own devices. Stay sober, have peace and serenity, acceptance, comfortable in my own skin etc........... Simple but make sense to this simple alcoholic.
Even now when I am faced with a difficult person or situation, the question I hear God asking me, is: Do you want to deal with that person or situation or do you want me to deal with it?
I love that! Oh but how easily and often I forget!! I run around on self will, life becomes unmanageable again .......then, after enough pain....yes I hand over to my HP again.....finally!
I also came into AA having been taught about a punishing God. I found the opposite after time. Now I frequently share at meetings that "I learned about a punishing God in a Church Sanctuary and about a loving God in a Church Basement"
Larry, ----------------- If you have no time for prayer and meditation, you will have lots of time for sickness and trouble.
