I get the one day at a time thing now. Last week was a suck-fest and I teetered on drinking the whole time. Then, I made it to 30 days and felt great for two days... wasn't even obsessing. Now, just 24 hours later, I cannot stop thinking about drinking. I WANT TO DRINK! ARGH! So, I went for a run, I made cookies, I called a friend, I'm folding laundry... soon I'll go to bed and then it will be tomorrow. Each day, one at a time, some suck and some don't.
Page 86 of the BB has a good little prayer/saying that I say before my morning pee (there are a lot of hidden prayers in the BB that many people seem to just glance over). It's easy, quick, and direct.
On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead:
"God, direct my thinking before I begin, especially that I be divorced from self-pity, dishonesty or self-seeking motives." Amen.
That's it, that's all! Maybe give that a try and see if it helps.
Tomorrow, when you wake up not vomiting, wondering what you did or said, stop and listen to the birds sing and reward yourself with a peaceful, healthy moment reflecting on and with your HP. Thank your HP for being there last night. Ask your HP to be in your life more. Congrats on the willpower! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I found that I did obsess about drinking in the early days. Of course I did! That's normal for me because I'm an alcoholic. Drinking is normal for me. Not drinking is abnormal. Therefore until I learned how to live life on life's terms without having to drink over it, I still obsessed about it. If I didn't find some way to sidetrack myself off the obsession, I was doomed to go out and drink and things only got worse by leaps and bounds.
You know what though? If I did something else---preferably something like reading the Big Book or calling someone in the program---or even just getting up and doing the dishes---the obsession would pass for awhile. So then I'd get some reprieve and I wouldn't have gone through with the obsession and I'd have bought myself some more time sober. The more time I stayed sober, the better things got and the easier it got.
You did the right thing and I'm really proud of you for it. You're hanging in there, you're doing the right things and following suggestions, and if you can keep that up for long enough you'll find the obsession will leave you altogether. Life won't always be sunshine and lollypops but you won't have the obsession with you anymore anyway.
Laurie, you're paying your dues. Just think about running. The first few miles are the hard ones, then you hit a groove for a while. Sobriety is like that. Once we learn not to listen to our brain (your brain is not your friend) and learn to live in the Now, life takes on a new and Real meaning. Of course we have to get used to stress loading/task loading and dealing with life on life's terms, without victimizing ourselves over it and without booze to smooth out the rough edges. We learn that life is what life is and to be thankful for the good days and/or tomorrow will be a better one. We get to start over every morning and leave yesterday behind.
Im right there with ya! Im about to hit 30 days too, the last week was a B*tch, this week seems to be going alot better.Like you Im trying to stay focased on "One Day At A time" Its hard because alot of problems I've caused my self are now having to be delt with, like finding a new place to live, new job,Jerk Parents and everything else.We gotta hang in there. I totally relate though. "Some days Suck,Some Dont"
I remember both of you posting around 30 days ago, at day 1. That's so amazing you've gotten this far!! :) That has to be a great feeling, providing you with even more motivation to keep going. Keep it up. You're both an inspiration for me, daily! :)
Im doing great today thanks for asking! I celebrated with a trip to Dair Queen with my daughter. I feel proud of myself too...which is silly I know... Its a Long road ahead of me, But with one foot in front of the other I think Im heading in the right direction... thanks so much for everyones support!
Hey, it's not the least bit silly to be proud of yourself that you took your kids to Dairy Queen! I'm proud of you that you got to do that, too! I remember when I used to just take my kids out to pizza because I could drink at a pizza place and I couldn't anywhere else.
