Man am I going through a phase. Not sure if it's due to quitting cigarettes or sober anniversary or what but I'm in a funk. Going to meetings every day, been chairing Monday nights all month, and things are tough. Turning into a recluse, not answering the phone, tired all the time. This sucks. One thing I do know is a drink will not help. This too shall pass. Think I'm gonna have to fight out of this one. Felt good this morning, went on an interview, and this depression is still here. I opened up my 24 hour a day book this morning and my bookmark was in the reading from two weeks ago! How does this happen? I guess it takes reminders, often painful, to push me back into the solution. In order to get this daily reprieve, I need to do the work and get the hell out of my head. Oh well, think I have figured out what steps to take while typing this. I'm going to read some out of our Big Book, have a talk with God, and get motivated once I get up, starting with my readings! I just want to thank you all for being here for me, and the e-mails I've received. It means alot!
My "one year" funk lasted around a month, maybe 3 weeks, it was HORRIBLE, then it just lifted one night, and didn't return until the next year. I just kept trying putting different keys in the door and I seriously don't know which one lifted it, if you know what I mean.
Can you mug newcomers and try to get a sponsee? that is always helpful and incredibly illuminating in an embarrassing way, everything I tell them is stuff I need to hear, I have discovered more answers for myself working with sponsees then I ever did with sponsors lol
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Funks lasted since Friday. One year was Saturday. I just ran a mile, thought it would help, been a long time since I ran, man does it hurt! My poor lungs. lol
Hang in there, the only experience I have is "it passes", and it gets better, but the bumps in the road we encounter can be a real bear.
Two exercises I do are:
Knowing it's NOT real, that this difficult time I am experiencing is make believe, that it's "all in my head", and remember times in my life that WERE real bad so I can remember the difference, but over the years and using hindsight I discovered that much of my suffering was make believe.
Another is saying "Tomorrow the sun will come up and I will go to work, and I know these things have a way of working themselves out, and that this will pass, I won't always feel this way"
Actually, hold on, Dean's post a week or so ago addresses this specifically, be right back
OK back, Hey Dean, I hope this is OK to put this here
StPeteDean wrote:
Hey LOL, there may be a few things going on. When in situations like that, you don't have time to sort our your feelings, so they get shelved. Using alcohol and other mood altering substances or events, will make us perpetually numb to our feelings, making us indifferent and apathetic. When we get sober, our feeling start coming back and sometimes they ambush us. We need to learn how to handle our feelings. First off "FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS" the don't own us and they don't define us. Best thing to do is feel the feelings, but don't wallow in the emotionalism as that releases strong chemicals in our brain (dopemine) that's 100 times stronger than heroin. We can get addicted to these internal chemicals and the emotions that trigger them.
So sometimes when we're recalling past events, it may just be for the brain dope, so don't fall for that. If you want to resolve one of these issues, write on paper how you feel about that particular event. Then write an acceptance statement such as "that's human nature" or "that's life, glad that I survived" or "that's war, I'm one of a billion people that has experienced it" or "it could've been far worse, and I'm alive!". Put a positive spin on it and that thought will replace the negative one that's been attached to it previously at it will bond to the memory. Everytime you recall it, after that, keep putting more positive spin on it with acceptance and gratitude statements and it will stop bothering you. The opposite of this is greater deepening depression from embelishing and making it more and more negative. The human memory and subconscious doesn't know the the difference between real and imagined details. That's why when someone keeps repeating a story of a "tragic" event, and they embelish (exagerate), in the following recollection of the event, that person actually believes the exagerated (or fabricated) details, believing it wholeheartedly. We can use this process as a tool to reduce the drama in our past events by "no big dealing" it. We simple add positive details and gratitude for the way we got out of the situation. We reduce the details and make the story much shorter and smaller. We tell the smaller version a couple times and then we stop telling the story. Someone will bring up a similar story and we can just say, "something like that happened to me one time, but it wasn't that bad".
I don't feel that this is stuffing your feelings if you do some honest writing first, get your feelings out, and then say- "enough is enough" reliving this crap isn't doing me any good. Then begin the process of "no big dealing" it until all you remember is that it wasn't a big deal. It works, I've done it a lot. It works so well that I'm "no big dealing" events in real time now, instead of getting worked up over them. Over emotional responses to typical life circumstances are a tragic waste of energy that never stops hurting you. Most of us have a tremendous amount of baggage and all that crap have trigger to drink/drug/eat/sex/procrastinate.... over it. They make us dysfunctional in many ways. Imo opinion, people with chronic depression are stuck in this process and that's part of what alters their brain chemistry (continual releasing of these internal tranquilizers) buts that another discussion. Start using these phrases - "There Are No Big Deals", "It is What It Is", "It Is, And It Can't Be Otherwise", "That's Life, Next..", "A Mere Speed bump On My Highway of Happiness"... create your own no big deal acceptance phrases and say them quick before your inner drama queen appears.
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Man, that is deep. I can't for the life of me think of what's triggering this "funk" but I know if I force myself to stay positive it will end soon. I think I just coughed my lung out. I can't say I'm feeling depressed this moment.
My "one year" funk lasted around a month, maybe 3 weeks, it was HORRIBLE, then it just lifted one night, and didn't return until the next year. I just kept trying putting different keys in the door and I seriously don't know which one lifted it, if you know what I mean.
Can you mug newcomers and try to get a sponsee? that is always helpful and incredibly illuminating in an embarrassing way, everything I tell them is stuff I need to hear, I have discovered more answers for myself working with sponsees then I ever did with sponsors lol
My experience also is that working with sponsees always helps me more than them. When I used to get the funk part of what I always did was call my sponsor. I could easily lie to myself but my sponsor was always able to see through my BS.
My funk was often caused by the dangerous "Poor Me" thinking.
Working with others gets rid of it for me.
Don't forget the grattitude list!!
Larry, ------------------ It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting
You know what? I've been typing on here on and off for two hours. And I feel so much better! Maybe I need to pick up a phone and get some of this stuff out of my system like I'm doing on here instead of hiding in my room watching t.v. and sleeping the day away? There is an idea...........
You know what? I've been typing on here on and off for two hours. And I feel so much better! Maybe I need to pick up a phone and get some of this stuff out of my system like I'm doing on here instead of hiding in my room watching t.v. and sleeping the day away? There is an idea...........
That's just crazy talk man
here, crank this real loud
I'm a rock dude zeppelin floyd etc, but turn this real loud
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Aloha Justin...A great place to have that talk with your HP is while sitting in the palms of HP's hands. Picture it. That a chance on an attitude of gratitude too.
The brain dope dynamic that Pete mentioned, especially when compounded by low-grade depression..transitory or otherwise...is very common around anniversary times (addiction research indicates this is a physical process with, of course, "psychological" and behavioral impacts). There are many tools and strategies in AA to help us overcome, or at least get through, these risky, uncomfortable times. Thank God!! Still no fun, tho!!
I'm actually in a pre-anniversy funk myself--approaching 27 years in early April...and I swear that funk comes around just about every daggone year, sometimes subtle, sometimes stronger. And some research I've heard about (I don't have the citations) indicates it's more palpable for some around the 5-year points...go figure.
What usually helps me the most is to go to a newcomer's meeting and find someone to reach out to. Or do some volunteering at Central Office. It gets me out of my head and makes my disease loosen its grip to interact with and help newcomers.
Getting kind of snakey around birthdays is common and it's not a sign something is necessarily irreversibly wrong with your sobriety. It's just a reminder that our disease is always there, looking for a chink in the armor to see if it can get a toe-hold.
I got sober the first time in 1982 and I did okay the first year but then the snakey time hit before my second anniversary and I hadn't been paying enough attention to working my program so I only made it to a year and 11 months.
Then I got sober again briefly in Feb. 1985---thought for sure I was doing it right that time because I really, really wanted it. And bam, suddenly May 5th that year, I had a couple of drinks. That scared the hell right out of me and I've been sober ever since. Birthdays can be slippery so my best home remedy is to reach out to another alcoholic and get involved with some inventory work on myself. That never hurts, either.
The best remedy for me, though, is to get involved with newcomers or something like that. Gets me out of my head.
-- Edited by Ellen E on Wednesday 24th of March 2010 10:08:48 PM
