Hey. Hope everyone is "managing". I've decided I am going to circumvent my own awful alcoholic habits! I am taking college courses and trying to study four hours a day. Maybe this is somehow helping. I feel less of an inclination to buy and drink any horrible type of alcohol I can get.
Although I get cravings, and the temptation to resume my pitiful, private, bad lifestyle manifests, I'm not paying attention to any alcohol in stores. This involves training my mind to focus on something else.
Just leting people know that I believe I am making a significant amount of progress...by myself!
While I am pleased you are getting some kind of relief John...you make me want to smack you upside the head with a big book. Just go to meetings and stop trying to reinvent the wheel. Either way. We are here for you.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hey John, welcome back. Hoping that you'll find your way into some meetings. This is a tough thing to beat on your own. It can be done, but what about addressing the cause of the urges to drink just to feel "Ok"? If we don't resolve those issues we're going to continue looking for mood altering substances or events to try and make those issues go away or fill some hole in our soul that's missing.
WELCOME! Every individual's experience, trials, successes and failures are of value to everyone else here.
Sounds like you have a desire to stop drinking and are thereby welcome here with open arms and open hearts. Experience... This bit of ancient wisdom helps me. It pre-dates AA by about 2,720 years and the book it comes from is a valuable and useful part of my daily routine.
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity
If you should ever find that doing it yourself is not working I would suggest AA.
While AA is not the only way it seems to work best for most including this Alcoholic. I have quit "Managing" because I do not do well on my own.
Through AA I have come to realize that developing Alcoholism was and remains the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.
It has given me a relationship with my Higher Power whom I choose to call God that I never dreamed was possible.
It has given me a relationship with my fellow man and woman that I never dreamed was possible.
It has given me a relationship with that guy in the mirror that I see every morning when I shave, the same guy that I used to hate, that I never dreamed was possible.
It has given me tools to live life on life's terms.
It has allowed me to CHOOSE to be happy regardless of outside influences or people, places or things.
It has given me Serenity and a Joyous, Glad to be Alive outlook. Amazing when you consider this Alcoholic used to be constantly thinking about and planning my suicide.
Today I can wheel my grocery cart down the aisle containing the Alcohol be cause it is the quickest path to the milk without being tempted. I no longer need to go the long way around or force my self to think about something else. For now Alcohol has lost its power over me thanks to God and AA.
None of this came from doing it myself, but they did when I surrendered, went to AA and let God direct my life through others.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A drunk alone...is in poor company
Hey johnphilip19, I am glad you are back on site to share where you are at.Couple suggestions I would think about 1)an alcoholic alone ,is in bad company(paraphrased as not to violate our 6th tradition)and also that there is light years between abstinence andrecovery.We suffer from a physical,mental and spiritual disease that manifests itself in 'ALL; areas of our lives.You do need to put the alcohol down,but thats just the beginning to living a life of recovery. This a a powerful sickness that will do everything it can to tell you "you got it"It is thru our HP that we "manage" and not anything that we do.Part of surrendering and admitting that there was nothing we could do brings us to that awareness.Our best thinking got us where we are.Many of us here "fooled ourselves' into thinking we we managing pretty well by ourselves and 10,20 ,30 years later we realized we just never surrendered totally.You dont need to be out there for that long,come in from the storm and share our umbrella.This is a "we" program,you don't have to do it by yourself. Peace man
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Welcome back JP19. I've been where you've been, a whole bunch of times. Problem was, I found (and this is just me, I'm not saying that this has to happen to you or anyone else) that I just couldn't stay stopped prior to my coming into AA and working the AA program. I honestly wanted to stay stopped, but I couldn't.
I now believe, thanks to AA, that I have an illness which simply makes me unable to stay stopped on my own. I also believe that I never need to drink I keep working the 12 steps of AA. At least, that's working for me today.
Keep coming back -- the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Any time I ever tried to get sober by myself ( and there weren't many attempts ) I failed.
As has been mentioned ... AA isn't the only way to get sober . But it is the only way that has worked for me. Thats why Im here, to share this experience with other alcoholics who want and need it badly.
I like stories like this because it reminds me of what I did in my past. Just like the Big Book says I was looking for an easier, softer way. Sure, I managed to occupy my time with many things, and was able to stay sober for short periods of time. But as I think most of us know, it never lasted. I fought and fought AA for a very long time, and until I lost everything (and came very close to losing my life) it kept getting worse. For me, there is a HUGE difference between not drinking and being sober. Sobriety is a way of life, and not drinking is just that... not drinking. My not drinking days were horrible awful things that made me feel like complete and utter garbage. This is only my experience. Maybe you found a "new" way to get and stay sober...if so, please share with us all how it's working out. I'm always open for new and/or better ways to do things. In the mean time, I wish you luck and hope that you can learn how awesome sobriety is! Brian
