Hi guys, my name is Kevin and I'm an alcoholic. I came across this site via Google search.
I have now been sober for six weeks- could have been 3 months but I relapsed. It's in the past and I have forgiven myself.
My drinking started at an early age. I was 12 years old when I first became intoxicated. The effect seemed wonderful at the time. Throughout the years the "fun" part of becoming drunk became less and less. I had to drink more to get the same effect.
I currently attend every AA meeting possible. I work as a disc jockey in bars, weddings, ect. so exposure to alcohol is unavoidable. People like to offer me drinks if I play their requests. I found taking a sober friend on gigs with me and placing a bottle of water or soda in front of my rig helps. People don't offer me drinks as much anymore.
I finally hit my "brick wall" when I fell off the stage at the end of a party and could not get up. A guy tried to help me get up and ended up falling down himself- being that he was probably just as drunk as I was.
I started hiding my drinking out in our garage. I'd find any excuse to go out to the garage and "slam one" I tried hiding it from my wife- she knew what was going on no matter how many breath mints I ate to hide the scent
I started attending AA to save my family. I now do it to save myself. It's a selfish time but what is the alternative?
Hi Kevin, Welcome. It's great to have you. Stick real close to the meetings while you're on that 4th step...they're a lifesaver! This is a great place to vent, or reach out, too.
It was on hell of a weekend to say the least. I did two DJ gigs - one on Friday night and the next on Saturday night.
The Friday night party was very nice. Lovely people, people were drinking but nothing got out of hand. The guests had a wonderful time and so did I. I took my neice with me for "moral support" This was a tremendous help. It was nice seeing her. It's sad how much I missed seeing her grow up. We had a nice dinner before the reception and a good talk.
The next night was some of us in the DJ biz call "drunk parties" and that was exactly what it was. A friend (or who I thought was a friend) got married and the entire wedding party started drinking early that afternoon.
The introductions at the start of the evening went fairly well. As the evening progressed things worsened. I couldent get the father of the bride to even dance with his daughter because he was too drunk (and very obstinate) Even though I had my trusty water bottle in a very conspicuous site, they, however, kept insisting that I took a drink. These are people I have known for my entire life- we used to pary together "back in the day" They knew that I no longer took alcohol and I had hoped that they would respect my decision. They kept insisting that I have a beer. I even told them that a Coke or Pepsi would be nice. NO! They wanted me to drink. Maybe it's an allusion but I almost think that they had a "contest" going to see if they could get Kevin to "fall off the wagon"
They failed. I guess I found out that these clowns were never friends of mine in the first place. They perceived me as a "drinking buddy" for so many years. This drinking buddy has gone in a different and better direction.
I stopped in and BSed with my sponsor today and told him the whole story. He was, as always very supportive. Even in my early stages of sobriety I am finding out who my "real" friends are and who are not. I have made some nice friendships so far in the short time in AA.
Another day of sobriety, another experience, one little victory.
Good for you!! Sounds like you had a little testing going on. Glad you got through it. My first year in sobriety I worked alot of banquets and weddings where I had to tend bar at least part of the time. My sponsor reminded me that if I had a legitimate reason to be there then God would take care of me. And it seemed that an AA member was always at the function and letting me know that I could find them if I needed them.
I often wonder if the people that resent our sobriety see it as a reflection on their drinking? Seems like we all end up with friends that try to set us up to fail...I'm glad it didn't work.
Thanks for sharing a part of your story with me...
