Steve, it's a list of basic needs that are being met in your life that help you to realize that what you're bent out of shape about (relationships, material objects...) is optional.
My:
being alive sobriety eye, ears, nose and all my fingers and toes health roof over my head clothes to wear food to eat today work a way to get there friends
then it's helpful to think about people who don't have those basic needs being met. helps put things into perspective. you recite this list when you begin to feel sorry for yourself over optional people, places and things.
... An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be the permanent assets we shall seek.
12&12 p.95, Step Ten
-- Edited by AGO on Friday 12th of March 2010 12:55:05 AM
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Thanks AGO.... wondering why I heard of it but never did it lol... prob cause I only got to step 4 both the times I tried the steps before.. now that I got a new sponsor I restart the steps starting sat and he is a no nonsense type of guy that wants me to get through them fast so I can start helping others...
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
That is fantastic Steve, keep us posted, and if he gives you 30 days to do your fourth step, I expect hourly updates when you pull the all nighter on day 29 like the rest of us
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I personally think the reason we do a gratitude list is to remind us of the fact that things are much better now compared to when the obsession to drink was upon us. It's easy to fall into self-pity, self-seeking, and all the ugly defects of character which once ruled our lives. Doing a gratitude list pulls us out of this "funk" which we are so used to living in. After today I hope to be grateful for the 5th step and not be pissed off at the world. My problems are of my own making today! "It's not so much what's wrong with the world as it is what's wrong with me and my attitudes."
then it's helpful to think about people who don't have those basic needs being met. helps put things into perspective. you recite this list when you begin to feel sorry for yourself over optional people, places and things.
Brilliant - never seen it put so beautifully. Yes sometimes I just really have to strip it down to those things too when I am feeling 'off balance'
Don't know what step it is, don't know where in the book it might be, all i know is my sponsor drilled this into me.
My personal list, which I have written and re written and which i also hold in my head starts with:
I'm alive. I can breathe, I can eat, I can walk, I can talk, I can think, I can taste, I can hear, I can see, I can touch. I have warmth and food and shelter and I can care for myself. I have hands on the end of my arms which are just long enough to wipe my own backside. I have friends who would be willing to do this for me if I can't.
Then I get a bit more wide ranging - I have enjoyed my son's life for 14 years, i have enjoyed my daughter's life for 19 years. they are leading their own path to their own healing. That path doesn't include me just yet. I have a wife, who I don't live with but we are friends.
I can contribute to work, to family, to fellowship, to society. I have a higher power that loves me.
I can go on and on in this vein - there is always something to be grateful for.
I am also grateful for the things I don't have - both material and non material, because there is always more to come.
Finally, I am always, always, always Grateful to be Sober Today.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
The longer you are in the program, the more you will see the necessity for having an "attitude of gratitude." At first, I would get annoyed when people would share at meetings or introduce themselves as a grateful alcoholic. I did not understand what the @#$# they were so grateful for when I felt like dog @#$ at the time. At this point, I know I need to force myself to think that way and I need to say it outloud sometimes also because gratitude is like the enemy of alcohol... I don't need to try and numb myself in any way, shape or form, when I am truly grateful. It is at that point, when I go "Dang...Acceptance really is the answer. This program is really simple after all." Took me a while to get there but those moments are getting closer together.
The actual list on paper is a good practice...it forces you to take time to engage in optimistic thinking rather than the usual "poor me" stuff that got us all drunk too many times.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
then it's helpful to think about people who don't have those basic needs being met. helps put things into perspective. you recite this list when you begin to feel sorry for yourself over optional people, places and things.
Brilliant - never seen it put so beautifully. Yes sometimes I just really have to strip it down to those things too when I am feeling 'off balance'
Louisa xx
Self centered fear (and envy) is our worst enemy, thinking that we are going to lose something that we think that we have (we really don't own anything) or that we're not going to get the things that we deserve or thought that we have coming to us.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Friday 12th of March 2010 01:26:56 PM
The first time I did a gratitude list I was so funky in my thinking that I used as a reason to be more pissy. As many already know, I felt better almost instantly afterward.
Now, even a quick mental list in bad times provides relief. Much better tool than alcohol, no side effects.
My Take, dont need a reason, I enjoy making up a little list of things I am grateful for, I do this maybe 3 times a week, just keeps the focus on a Grateful heart to my HP, whom I choose to call God.
While I am waiting for coffee to "steep" in my little coffee press, I usually have pens and paper around that area.
Five is the number I seem to end up with.
always the first is the same, and the second,
Greatful to GOD for my life.....God led me to AA, not AA leading me to HIM.
(just a little note to the board, not on the list..To a God I really did not have a clear understanding of, but was certain it was a force greater than myself, left alone to my own divices I would never have entered the rooms of AA for Keeps this time).
Always Thank Him for my Sobriety, never forget that one. Food Warm Bed to sleep in The Love of Cherished Friends
This little list takes no more than 2 or 3 minutes, and I try really hard to focus on exactly what I am writing, and not about when is my coffee going to be done...:)
Hugs to all of you, we are so very very Blessed each and every one of us, that despite having in incurable disease, thanks to Dr. Bob and Bill W. we live our little lives with it being curable.....one day at a time.....and the inspiring amazing 12 Steps of this Program.
I do one when I feel I should be doing SOMETHING for sobriety-work, but just don't know what. It's always nice to count my blessings; it makes me happy and feel loved by God.
You know, I just ran across an interesting variation of a gratitude list, which basically is a positive inventory, a "spot check" as suggested in the 12 and 12 but over at another site this woman said she started taking taking people's inventories HOWEVER only listing positive aspects about them.
I like this idea a lot, I was talking about it with my GF and she had some suggestions off the top of her head where I could start (she is in the program) but I think I am going to start small, like with people I like hahahahahahaha
Seriously though, I think I am going to try this, I have no problem doing a gratitude list with myself, it's second nature, but if I am going to take people's inventories (evidently in the "never" column in the 6-7 step) why not take positive inventories?
I like people that don't say bad things about others, they seem happy, I want that, I don't like how negative I get about stupid people. They have good qualities too ya know?
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
My Take, dont need a reason, I enjoy making up a little list of things I am grateful for, I do this maybe 3 times a week, just keeps the focus on a Grateful heart to my HP, whom I choose to call God.
I count my blessings everyday along with my prayers to become a better person, AA member, , son, father, husband, brother, family member, friend, neighbor, employer, worker, tradesman, business person, citizen, , driver... We will get more of what we are grateful for, OR complain about, take your pick. In "New thought" it is believed that we should be grateful, in advance, for those things that we desire or wish to obtain, and the universe will make it happen for us.
Keep your mind on your blessings and your goals. When you find yourself enjoying something, take a moment and thank your higher power for it. If you're are enjoying good health or wish for it, be grateful for it. When we are in the act of being grateful we are experiencing happiness. You cannot be happy without being grateful and if you are grateful, you cannot help but to feel happy during/after. That is why Gratitude = Happiness.
If I am at a place that is giving me joy (the woods, the beach, the mountain...) I pause for a moment and say "thankyou HP for bringing here." If I'm having a good time with a friend, family, or significant other, I pause and say "thankyou HP for putting these people into my life" (same thing when someone shows up to help me with anything). And then I turn to that person and thank them for being my friend. If it's some material object, I say "thanks HP for this gift." This is what we call "An attitude of Gratitude". It will change your life, as it educates your somewhat (or extremely) piggy inner self that the world owe's us nothing and nothing should be taken for granted.
Even if we are paying hard earned money for something that we enjoy, it's still a gift because we were given the opportunity to work for it, and someone made that item, food, experience for us, brought to us, grew it for us, cooked it for us, served it to us. At some point in history there was no money and we all did favors for each other with love and gratitude. Then some idiot came up with the idea of keeping score. Then came money and then we, as a culture, went down hill from there. Everyday is a holiday, every meal is a feast, everything is a gift, and everyone is an honored guest.
The opposite of this is, and where most of us get stuck, is in self pitty and resentment. If we count our problems, resentments, misfortunes, and misgivings instead, the universe will bring us more of those. We attract whatever it is that we give our energy to, or what has power over us. Example, if you are afraid, your fears will become your reality (whether it happens or not, your perception IS your reality). If you fear abandonment you will perpetuate it and people will leave. (see the video below)
"I fell on Black Days"- soundgarden
"Whatsoever I've feared has come to life Whatsoever I've fought off became my life Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile Sunspots have faded And now I'm doing time And now I'm doing time
Cause I fell on black days I fell on black days
Whomsoever I've cured I've sickened now Whomsoever I've cradled I've put you down I'm a search light soul they say But I can't see it in the night I'm only faking when I get it right When I get it right Well I fell on black days I fell on black days How would I know That this could be my fate How would I know That this could be my fate
So what you wanted to see good has made you blind And what you wanted to be yours has made it mine So don't you lock up something that you wanted to see fly Hands are for shaking No, not tying"
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 13th of March 2010 07:41:21 AM
A Grattitude list gets me off the pitty pot when I start feeling sorry for myself.
An attitude of grattitude prevents the "Poor Me from turning into Pour me a drink"
I find it neccessary for me to put it on paper. I don't know what, but something magical happens when I put it on paper. I list ALL the things that I am gratefull for.
Then I list the "There but for the Grace of God go I things" that are all around me.
This sometimes involves noticing the suffering of others. Suffering that God has not required me to go through.
I volunteer at Shriners Hospitals for Children. When you see some of these kids with horrible birth defects or injuries laughing and playing. Well my little arthritus pains become shall we say insignificant.
Write the list and help others. It works
Larry --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just be on the side of the angels, it doesn't matter what rank you are
