I suppose my subject line is pretty self-explanatory.
I think my lack of motivation to go to a meeting comes from a few different places (all of which will most likely seem like excuses, etc, to most or all of you).
First of all - this is day 5 for me of being sober. To tell you the truth, i'm not having as difficult of a time as i thought i might have. Maybe this stems from the fact that I was never a daily harcore drinker. It's moreso that when I drink (which was, in fact, at least 3 times a week...) that I drink hard, fast, and undoubtably to get drunk. BUT. When i'm not drinking, I feel like, unlike a lot of people who i have seen post here, i don't get the "shakes" and i'm not feeling withdrawal symptoms. Mostly, i'm just feeling GOOD and proud of myself that i haven't caved. I'm keeping myself busy with activities that are not surrounded with booze/bars/parties...and THAT is what will be hard, since i'm so used to hitting the bars on the weekend. BUT. Because i feel as though i'm not exactly truly "Struggling".....is why i haven't felt entirely motivated to go to an AA meeting.
Second of all - and perhaps this is a backwards way of doing things in the program - I feel like i'd be more comfortable with meeting a sponsor, FIRST?....and then going to a meeting? Or finding a sponsor/mentor/someone to talk to....and discussing it face to face, rather than at a meeting.
I'm not sure if this makes sense. So i guess what i'm asking is - is the only way to become truly sober, and immerse yourself in the program, through attending daily/weekly AA meetings? I have started to read the big book, and I have been active dailiy on this message board, as well as journaling myself, etc. But are there alternatives such as, finding smaller groups to talk to? Online meetings? Etc?
I know i'm an alcoholic. I know alcoholism runs in my family. I know how despite the fact that sometimes i feel like it hasn't taken over my whole life entirely, it HAS taken ahold of ME, and my mindset.
Sorry if i'm coming across as self centered or too busy, or unmotivated. That's not me at all. I want to be a sober person, and do NOT want to rely on drinking to get me through my nights, as i have before.
ET, call your local AA intergroup (number in phone book or google for AA intergroup office in your location). Those phones are manned and womanned by recovering AAs and they'd be glad to speak to you. It's very likely that a woman or 2, would meet you first and take you to a meeting that's she's familiar with, thereby introducing you to some nice people. It's a great way to go to your first meeting. However, your perception of meetings is typical. Think of a laid back social meeting with people of all types and ages, professions that are the same people that you liked to drink with down at your local bar, only now they've found many ways to enjoy life and have fun without booze. That's what we go to meetings to learn, how to live a great life without booze.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Thursday 25th of February 2010 10:29:32 AM
No problem ET, raise your expectations and enjoy your first meeting. You know that I was lucky enough to get married twice, and twice in the Catholic church (which is rare). The first wedding I was nervous and wasn't present to enjoy it at all. I wasn't hungry and just didn't really have a good time at the reception. Before the second wedding (which was also very nice one as it was my wife's first), I decided that I was going to have a good time and enjoy every minute of it and I did. I know that this analogy Isn't as vivid for a woman to relate to but for a man, getting married and going to your first AA meeting rates about the same on the "what the heck am I doing here"-o-meter.
Maybe this stems from the fact that I was never a daily harcore drinker. It's moreso that when I drink (which was, in fact, at least 3 times a week...) that I drink hard, fast, and undoubtably to get drunk. BUT. When i'm not drinking, I feel like, unlike a lot of people who i have seen post here, i don't get the "shakes" and i'm not feeling withdrawal symptoms. Mostly, i'm just feeling GOOD and proud of myself that i haven't caved. I'm keeping myself busy with activities that are not surrounded with booze/bars/parties...and THAT is what will be hard, since i'm so used to hitting the bars on the weekend. BUT. Because i feel as though i'm not exactly truly "Struggling".....is why i haven't felt entirely motivated to go to an AA meeting.
hiya i didnt get the withdrawls i didnt need to go into detox.i was not a daily hardcore drinker and I never drank in the mornings. but it doesnt mean much. i could not control my drinking. once i started i didnt want to stop. I was lucky, extremely lucky that i got help before it got that bad.
for me, if i didnt have meetings i would end up drinking again. For me meetings are now not so much about how to stop, but how to live staying stopped, how to cope with the hard things, how to cope with the good things.all sorts of things i get help with, like the first time i had to go toa wedding sober, people helped me with advice, i was in a panick about it. Everything under the sun really people at meetings have had experience with and its helped when i need it.
I like meetings now, i got so much help at the start also. And some of them have social things afterwards, like one meeting i used to frequent on a friday night - some of us went for coffee afterwards, it was so cool to go out with like nice minded people and not be drinking. Though thats not needed to do it was a nice option if i wanted to socialise a bit. But yeh meetings for me are like a safety valve and i have met such wonderful people who help me when i need it.
If you tried going to one would what harm would it do? Like if you tried one, tried a few (because every meeting is different and you may like one more than another). You have nothing to lose and you might be suprised and find them good. Only a suggestion! For me i like meetings, well sometimes i dont want to go, sometimes i think jeepers i dont have time, i dont want to go, but honestly i find them good value.
yep i agree if you ring and ask for help someone will visit and offer to take you to a meeting if u wished. I didnt do it that way so i dont know what its like but it sounds good.
At meetings also, you dont have to speak to anyone if you dont want to. No one expects you to speak to the group, no one expects you to speak to anyone else at all, in fact sometimes its hard getting a word in because everyone else is talking away and theres no time to speak. But it is possible to go and not speak to anyone, and sit at the back and just observe which is kinda good if you just want to check it out.
meetings are like well at my regular its a bunch of people having a cup of tea or coffee and talking about stuff, alcoholism, life etc. in a safe structured meeting that if you want to speak you can, if you dont want to speak, you dont have to. actually at my regular you have to chime in really fast if you want to speak, its really easy to not say anything and sit and listen. I agree just a nice bunch of peolpe off all walks of life like the other poster said.
take care
-- Edited by slugcat on Thursday 25th of February 2010 10:41:30 AM
-- Edited by slugcat on Thursday 25th of February 2010 10:42:35 AM
-- Edited by slugcat on Thursday 25th of February 2010 10:47:29 AM
what slugcat wrote ^^^^^^^ exactly mirrored my experience. I too was a "hign bottome drunk". Worked continuously, paid all my bills, only drank after work, never went to a detox, no medical problems or financial ones. Did lose a marriage, that wasn't working anyway (read it was good thing we split up), and did have some withdrawals, but coming in at 27 years old and getting sober by 29, there was definitely a lot of time left on my drinking odometer. In a week I'll be 50 and have had an amazingly great 20 years with more than I ever dreamed of. If I had to leave this earth tomorrow, I wouldn't complain a bit.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Thursday 25th of February 2010 11:01:06 AM
I guess you could but I wouldn't advise it. Going to the meeting helps you understand your alcoholism & lets you know that you aren't alone. Although before me & my ex were married his father drank heavily. One day he decided he didn't want to drink anymore & just stopped cold turkey. Was he an alcoholic? Only he knows the answer.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
I had a hard time getting to my first meeting,I did a few "Drive By's" and ended at a pub on my first attempt to get to a meeting. I dont know what the exact definition of an Alcoholic is.All I know is I AM one. I havnt gotten a sponsor yet,I havnt even spoke at a meeting yet. For now Im just showing up. It would have been much easier for me if I had someone I trusted go with me to my first one.The meetings have really helped me and all I do is sit there.You can do this...
