For some reason these words keep ringing in my head throughout the day. I know it's a one day at a time program. The Book says we have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Think I got that right. Anyways, I go to a bunch of meetings, pretty much every day and this isn't always enough to keep me in the happy, joyous, and free state of mind. This takes work for this alchy. All the good things that come to me in sobriety are bi-products of staying sober. And staying sober to me is more of a state of mind than abstaining from alcohol. I'm trying to keep this simple. This is a simple program but it takes work to get on track and have a good attitude. I wish these things came naturally. I could be Saint Justin. But it is not so. My sainthood got revoked with my license many years ago! Back to the point at hand. I know I'm rambling on... This is a spiritual program. I can never forget this. Even in the promises it tells us they will materialize if we work for them. So I guess the key word here is action. A spiritual program of action. I can't get this program by sitting on my butt and doing nothing. Osmosis never works either. Guess it's time to push forward and change a bit more. Thanks everyone for letting me ramble and reading my ramblings. There is a good name for my new book !!!! "Ramblings from an Alcholic"
Thanks for sharing Justin. I hear what you're saying. And when I get this way, I now know that I need to change something to change my thoughts and the way I feel.
I usually have to put a call in to my sponsor and share with her. and its highly important that Im completely honest with her about what is going on between my ears . If Im not honest with her, she cant help me. She doesn't read minds.
Justin, I think you are correct that it is a program of action, although that can take many forms. My own experience has been that spiritual growth is very subtle...it occurs when I'm not looking. I could not more force a spiritual awakening than I could order the sun to shine. My role is to be available for it. I guess it occurs serendipitously, provided I get out of the way. I've certainly stalled along the way, wondered what I was missing or what I was doing wrong. And when I become frustrated, or when I start asking if this is all there is, it's time to do something. Today I can trust those cues. Once upon a time the only response I knew was to take a drink. I suspect that much of my first year of sobriety was motivated by fear: I just knew that if I didn't go to enough meetings or if I didn't work the central office or if I didn't go for coffee after the meetings that I was going to take a drink. Later, though, stay sober became an act of love; I had begun to believe I was worth saving. I have been around a few 24º now, and it does come pretty naturally to me. Oh, certainly there are days or weeks where I find that I need to address some issues with myself. But over the years I have been fortunate to explore spiritual paths outside of AA, although the 12 steps remain my foundation. I believe that these inquiries have enhanced my life and have made recovery far more than I could ever have imagined.
Hey Justin ,thats cool I do the same thing with my wife.I do all the talking,.,come up with my own solutions,answer myself and then say;THANKS doc I needed that!Man this thing works if I let it..... its great gettin it out of your head and on the airwaves ain't it!! Must be another program thing!!!!Thanks for sharing, its how we stay well!!!peace
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I've always kind of wondered about the daily reprieve. Exactly what it means. There are times I get up in the morning, go to work, etc & go through the day & not even think about AA or drinking. I've had people tell me this is dangerous. But, sometimes I just like to feel/be normal & if the occassion arose that I had an alcoholic drink before me I'm sure I'd remember that I'm an alcoholic. I call this living life. My entire life doesn't have to be revolved around AA. But, AA has to be revolved around my life. Hope this makes sense.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
Tessa, I think that what you have described is a healthy way of looking at your life. My first year did revolve around AA, but eventually it became one of several valuable features in my life. I've been sober quite a long time, and I think about drinking alcohol about as often as I think about drinking bleach: It simply isn't part of my life. I continue to be involved with alcoholics, both personally & professionally, but it is a labor of love My inability to live with myself or to live life on life's terms had a lot to do with shy I drank. Today, as the result of the 12 steps & many wonderful people from AA, I am comfortable in my own skin. I have the resources to deal with what life deals me, and as a result of better decisions I am not dealt so many curve balls. The promises do come true.
The restless, irritable, and discontent alcoholic in me sometimes likes to have me believe I need to change change change all the time... I mull over it a lot and forget that I am changing and adapting day by day and it doesn't need to be so difficult. Yes, work is involved, but sometimes the work is just accepting myself and putting the bat away that I beat myself up with.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Sometimes when I am rushed, I keep it real simple, with the wheels churning when I wake up, look UP and in a rather loud but completely silent voice.........Say, GOD, please Help.
Then at night, am very aware that no wheels fell off during the day, I say Softly, Gently and Gratefully.......Thank You GOD!...
A Big Hug Justin Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Thursday 18th of February 2010 01:02:38 PM
Our job is to carry THIS message to other alcoholics. Not to sit in a 90/90 and expect to have a spiritual awakening. If you honestly study the big book, you will see that they focused on carryin the message, not how many meetings they are making to keep them sober!!!1
