I'm so NOT going to win any Mom of the Year awards for the past week or so. Every time I hear the word "mom" I want to scream. Though I'm not yelling at them, I hear myself using a sharper tone than usual. I'm sure the girls can hear it too. Anyway, these feelings added to the rest of my grim being is weighing heavily on me right now.
Hey Laurie, you've really got to put your head down and "muddle trudge" thought the first 90 days. Just have faith, based on what we've been telling you that it will get better and try and ignore everything that's prompting you to react. When you're girls say "mom" just breathe in deeply and say "yes dear" and let it go. Start making planed reactions to these things. Write it, say it, spell it if you have to but practice responses to these repetitive things. I was an extra in a movie("thunder in paradise") when I first moved to FL. It was a Hulk Hogan movie on the beach (I lived across the street from this hotel and my old house is in this picture)
The Director was under a lot of stress and everybody was bugging and asking him if they could do this or that and his answer was "Some other Wonderful time" lol instead of dropping an F-bomb. I was so impressed that I began doing it and still do. It's code that only I get most of the time.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 17th of February 2010 07:24:29 PM
I hear ya, Laurie. Feels like crap, but it'll pass. I can't remember how many times I said "The next time I hear 'I wanna' come out of your mouths I'm going to sell the lot of you to a Phillipine rug-factory!" or some other ridiculous chanelling of my Mother's Brooklyn-bred parenting skills passed down to her from the psychotic, narcissistic psychological train-wreck I called "Grandma" (which I thought for sure was the German word for "Venomous She-Devil").
Now...the deep breath comes first, then the laughter, then imagining myself as a piece of clay...which is of no use at all until after it has been crafted into a void...and filled with Love/The Tao/Divinity.
Aww hell. The little monkeys are fighting on my bed! Why I oughtta.....in-through-the-nose....out-through-the-mouth....ha ha ha; kids are great! I'm going to go tell them I'm a bowl full of Tao.
Laurie, You sound restless, irritable and discontent. Nobody ever told me that getting sober would be easy. But its not impossible. You can do this if you want it bad enough. Pray, ask God for some strength and guidance. He will help you out in the ruff patches you are gonna go thru. But He will only help you if you are willing to do whatever it takes to NOT pick up a drink k ?
Remember the count to 10 method? Well, silently say the serenity prayer when you feel like you've just got to scream. Works for me....most of the time!:lol
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
I think there should be like an AA club with a day care attached to it....that way you guys with young kids could go to more meetings and not have to pay out the wazoo.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Unless a meeting or group doesn't allow children at the meeting, then it should by all means be A-ok for a parent to take their kids to a meeting.
Both my children are grown & go to al-anon. Around my area I wouldn't dare take my children into an AA meeting. Too much "off the street talk" & one meeting I go to a sex offender attends the meeting although he doesn't know that I know because I consider it an outside issue & we've all got our skeletons. But, still pays to be cautious. Not saying it's wrong to take your kids. But, just know the type of people there & what negatives your kids may see or hear. A lot of predators in my area & I wouldn't trust to leave my kid sitting alone in a meeting while I went to the restroom. Let alone hear what comes out of some of the newcomers mouths. Just not a place for kids...in my area anyway. I'm basically in a rehab town & most of the members are from fellowships & rehabs. JMHO
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
Unless a meeting or group doesn't allow children at the meeting, then it should by all means be A-ok for a parent to take their kids to a meeting.
Both my children are grown & go to al-anon. Around my area I wouldn't dare take my children into an AA meeting. Too much "off the street talk" & one meeting I go to a sex offender attends the meeting although he doesn't know that I know because I consider it an outside issue & we've all got our skeletons. But, still pays to be cautious. Not saying it's wrong to take your kids. But, just know the type of people there & what negatives your kids may see or hear. A lot of predators in my area & I wouldn't trust to leave my kid sitting alone in a meeting while I went to the restroom. Let alone hear what comes out of some of the newcomers mouths. Just not a place for kids...in my area anyway. I'm basically in a rehab town & most of the members are from fellowships & rehabs. JMHO
I'd have to agree... especially with the ages of my children. I wouldn't hesitate bringing them to the women's group I attend, though. It's very small and other women have done it before. However, I haven't even talked to my kids about this whole issue yet, so it might be confusing to my older daughter. The younger one would just think it was a fun place to run around...
Great Post and great suggestions, I like Dean's sharing on "Another Wonderful Time" great stuff, no wonder you borrowed it and kept it Dean...
It is taking that deep breath, before responding, anything after that would be an improvment.
Just my own personal little opinion here, but I have always seen the entire AA community as an Adult Community. In the state that I live in there are specific meetings where it shows daycare on the schedule, exceptions of course would be the picnics and outside activities, have seen many families at those.
My vote would go toward to finding someone, maybe a retired person looking to make a little money, in your area, coming to your house everyday for about 2-3 hours, of course the ones that would count on the interviews would be your children, someone that they would want to spend the time with, and then make a scheule of the activities that you do in these times, and that would give you the time to make meetings a real priority everyday.....when my children were that small I did not drink, at all really, and then in their later teens, they moved in with their Dad.
But when I had a class I really wanted to attend,whne they were young and needed to be looked after, I would do that kind of seach I am talking about, it took advertising, interviewing, checking references, etc. But when I found a person that my children really liked, it worked well.
Yes it is. I live just up the intracoastal waterway from it. I can see it from the front yard of my new house also. If you been there since 2002 then probably on the 10,000 brazillian cherry decks that I built on the beach front.
