An alcoholic is someone who thinks Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.
An alcoholic is someone who drinks just a little bit more than you do.
I kept having to re-define what an alcoholic was. At one time it was someone who got a DUI - then after I got one, my mind instantly changed it to "multiple DUI's". Mine was just bad luck. Never mind the fact that I drove drunk thousands of times.
