I'm sure everyone has their own opinions about it and most will say it's up to the individual, but I'm just wondering what other people here have decided for themselves. I'm coming up on the 1 year mark Feb 16 if I stay sober. When I was new, and they asked for birthdays, beginning on the first day of the month I'd say "If I stay sober it'll be ___ months on the 16th." Then later in my sobriety I decided I would just wait till the 16th of the month, then announce the birthday from that point on throughout the month. I know some people don't announce it at all, but I think that often just calls even more attention to them, so if the point is to try to be humble, that's not necessarily the way it goes.
I'm not a big talker and don't usually look forward to being called upon, though I try to do my best when it happens - so for that reason plus the simple fact that it hasn't happened yet, I might wait till the 16th to start announcing my 1 year birthday. But I don't want to be selfish and not announce, just to avoid possibly being called upon to share more often, and possibly deprive some newcomer the benefit of seeing that the program really does work. Or some old-timer the pleasure of seeing someone hit the 1 year mark. So I'm a bit conflicted.
As far as "proud time" goes, for myself I stopped announcing that after reaching 6 months, unless it was a birthday meeting and they specifically asked if anyone had 7, 8, 10, or 11 months. I'm a bit leery about being 'proud' of the time which I feel has been a gift to me.
Anyway... opinions or experience please?
-- Edited by FlyingSquirrel on Monday 1st of February 2010 04:27:01 AM
Humility is something that is acquired thru the Grace of God and time. Celebrating an anniversary or AA birthday before its time is like celebrating Ones birthday before its the actual date.
My first year sober I took a coin. From then on, I have forgotten about the little tokens. Its not about tokens or birthdays . Its about me staying alive and then reaching out to others to show them precisely how I have done this.
I take very little credit for staying sober. God keeps me sober on a daily basis and I just do the footwork that He gives me the strength and power to do.
It might be a tad presumptuous before making a year, but I think most people do it. It's definitely a time to be proud and nothing wrong with displaying your gratitude. As far as not wanting to be called upon, that concerns me a bit. It usually means that you don't feel comfortable enough in that group or groups and aren't letting those people get to know you as you do here. It could be that you're not attending the same meeting enough (do you have a home group?). We know that you're not shy, that came across in your very first post. And as I recall you're a Kareoke host, so you can't be afraid of public speaking. I'm hoping that you'll make it a goal to want to share at every meeting. My first sponsor made me get to meetings early, meet a few people, chat with the chairperson, volunteer to do one of the readings, sit upfront close to the chair person, and be one of the first couple people to raise their hand to share. Try that for 5 meeting/days in a row and you'll experience meetings like you never have before. Come on , you've got a year now, act like it.
Typically anniversary celebrations are the last week of the month for any given group if it is a weekly group. If it is a daily group, then they celebrate anniveraries on that day. It is not presumptuous to tell the secretary of that meeting that you will be celebrating your anniversary on the 16th. In fact, it is a good thing to do because then they can make sure they have the medallion for you. Also, you get to choose in most meetings who you want to present you with the medallion. All these seems sorta like planning a big "all about me" party on one level, but trust me, it isn't. It is a great honor to be asked to present someone else with their medallion and for the reasons you stated in your own post, it is humble and shows others there is hope. Also you get to tell everyone how you did it and what you learned in the course of the year. That is good for you and everyone else. This is just my take on it and others have their own. Either way, I think it's pretty freakin awesome that you are about to hit this milestone! WTG and I will be looking forward to the 16th with you!
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
"And as I recall you're a Kareoke host, so you can't be afraid of public speaking."
I worked as a singer for years - the difference for me was that when I was on stage I was exactly that "on stage" " a performer" - not myself.
In an AA meeting, I am totally myself - and the real Louisa is a very shy individual. yes I know it is said that being shy is a character defect by some .....not sure about that claim.
As far as being called onto share in meetings - For me it can kind of ruin the flow of my thought sometimes.
I listen in meetings and like to offer imput and share when I feel it is appropriate and urged to wisely by my HP - not the chair ! ! ........... I do go with it .....but have mixed feelings about it .
I agree with LJC on this one. I try not to count days; it builds hubris and hubris is the deadliest of my Seven.
I'm not the only one in my homegroup with less than a year, but I am the only newbie who has relapsed. I was prideful of my 120 days and then relapsed on day 121. My last relapse was almost a month ago. I will ask for a coin for that...quietly and privately, to put in a box with my other 30, 60 & 90 day coins as a humble reminder to myself how powerless I am over alcohol.
I try to keep a 24 hour coin with me at all times and clench it tight when I thank God for another sober day.
I've been ignoring my own anniversary dates for years, but last year I got real psyched about hitting a whopping 25 years of continuous sobriety. So I started obsessing and angsting and premptively bragging etc etc. It was a whole event. I bought myself a special medallion and I even posted my own little "The Anniversary" blog. Well, long story short, it wasn't my 25th, it was my 26th. I had completely bypassed the 25th in '08 and never did the math in '09. Man, did I get a lot of mileage re: humility outta THAT one!!!
Hehehe that's a great story! Well my home group (which I go to 3 days a week) kinda solved part of my question for me - I did not say anything today when they asked for birthdays for the month of February, and then my sponsor outed me when he shared and the chairperson then also outed me later on. So I might as well just pipe up and say it's my birthday month in the home group, the undesired attention will be upon me either way. As far as other meetings go, I guess I'll just see what happens there when I go to them. I'll probably keep quiet until the 16th, but if I get a feeling that it might be helpful to others, (or if I get outed there too), then I'll share on it.
-- Edited by FlyingSquirrel on Monday 1st of February 2010 10:14:20 PM
I think it's important to anounce sobriety dates at 1,3,6,9 months and at every yearly after that. Shows the program works. Where I'm at there are no birthday meetings that I'm aware of. They ask if anyone has celebrated an anniversary today or in the past week at every meeting. So I'm covered! To be honest, I am nervous about announcing my anniversaries too. I think for me is there are alot of again's. 1 year again. and many 6 months again, etc. I try not to keep track and tell myself not to announce my sobriety time for whatever reason.........but to me that is being very selfish and I push myself to do it when the time comes. Just for today.........I am sober!!!
Milestones and birthdays are announced every time for the current month at meetings I go to. (If I ended up going to a lot of meetings in my milestone months, I didn't announce it every time though.) Sobriety date is May 30, 2009. My 9 months is coming up and I want to give it back to the group. I about said it tonight, but there is a problem. Normally folks say, "on February 30 I will have 9 months of continuous 24's", or the like. Well, there is no Feb. 30. So which month is my milestone actually in? Is it March 2nd. Does it matter? Can I act as if, and say on the 30th of Feb. I feel like a mini leap year baby. Any opinions/experience?
Wow, and I thought {{ I }} was complicating things too much! lol I'd go ahead and announce in February, and say it'll be nine months on February 30th. Everyone should get a real kick out of that and it might even help remind them of my favorite rule, #62 "Don't take yourself too damn seriously!" (Or "keep it simple", either way.)
With love,
FS
-- Edited by FlyingSquirrel on Friday 5th of February 2010 05:57:47 AM
