I have a question I would like feedback on. I have never been to an AA meeting where they pass around a notebook at every meeting and ask you to write your name, soberity date, and phone number down. The self appointed chairman of a meeting I attend recently started this procedure, I am not happy with this at all.
Is this a common practice and I just now after 14 years in AA am encountering it, I have been to many, many meetings in a lot of towns and this is a first. Please give me your input.I have copied some things from the AA site, about not keeping membership records or case histories. I plan on talking to this man about this , but if other groups do this I would like to know.
The thing about passing a notebook round is a new one to me. At the meeting I go to, it's first names only, and no records kept.
I can't speak for other groups as I only go to one.
Bye for now.
Chris.
__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
As usual, there is always some alcoholic who wants to re-invent the wheel.
Personally, if I found myself at such a meeting, I would just enter my first name in the notebook and pass it to the next person. If I felt presure about not playing the game, I would probably scrub that meeting from my list and go to one where I feel more comfortable.
I've seen this before. The idea was to have a list of people who consider that group their home group and to have a phone list available to the group officer, with sobriety date in case a 12 step call was needed. That was the idea...it didn't work too well. The person who passed around the notebook typed up the list and handed it out to people. We very quickly let him know if we wanted our name on a phone list we would put it on for a newcomer.
As always, protecting others anonymity and not being too anonymous to each other is a balancing act. Most people in meetings know my last name, but outside the meetings I don't tell someone how I know a certain person.
If it was me Gammy, I would request a group meeting after the next meeting you attend there and present your objections to the group conscience. I would imagine there would be others uncomfortable with this. I have been part of newcomer lists, and these were announced during a meeting and those willing stepped forward to put their name down. I see no reason why all members info should be collected.
There is some really good advice that Bill wrote about how the group conscience comes into play after one person ultimately stands to steer the ship and get a meeting off the ground, knowing he must eventually step down or relinquish his control to the group conscience...but I can't find it! Will send it on as soon as I do.
If ultimately the group decides to keep this way of functioning, then I would accept that and simply pass the book on when it came to me (much like some do with the basket or with an invitation to share).
John Doe, a good AA, moves -let us say- to Middletown USA. Alone now, he reflects that he may not be able to stay sober, or even alive, unless he passes on to others what was so freely given to him. He feels a spiritual and ethical compulsion, because hundreds may be suffering within reach of his help. Then, too, he misses his home group. He needs other alcoholics as much as they need him. He visits preachers, doctors, editors, policemen, and bartenders...with the result that Middletown now has a group and he is the founder.
Being the founder, he is at first the boss. Who else could be? Very soon, though, his assumed authority to run everything begins to be shared with the first alcoholics he has helped. At this moment, the benign dictator becomes the chairman of a commitee composed of his friends. These are the group's growing hierarchy of service-self-appointed, of course, because there is no other way. In a matter of months, AA booms in Midddletown...
It goes on to describe how the group begins to grow and the "boss" and his friends try to control the group,how the others decide to hold elections, and so on. Talks about the "bleeding deacons" and the "elder statesmen".
I guess the thing to remember is the 2nd Tradition: For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority--a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
I have been to a few meetings that pass the notebook around...but the main purpose usually is for first name and last initials for the chairpersons use when calling on people to share. Some people don't even agree with this practice..myself I don't mind putting my name down. But...if i were asked for my phone # I don't think I'd be so free with it, I agree if a newcomer asks for it that's different.
My home group has such a list though, of it's members names( including the last), sobriety date, phone # and address. Where the line is drawn as far as anonymity seems to be different every where. I believe that mostly though it's ultimately up to the individual. I think you're right to voice your opinion and concern. I'm curious to hear the feedback you'd get face to face.
Like it's mentioned above though,,,if you're not comfortable with giving this info, by all means don't!! I would suggest that you ask their intentions for this though. I doubt Not everyone at every meeting at this location is part of this home group. I don't agree with it, bottom line.
Hi there, I have been going to AA for a couple weeks now and every meeting I have been to they have a roster available for all who want to be on that list. I think its pretty cool, but it should be on the down low because isn't there supposed to be some anonymity here? I don't know, I have always been told, if the meeting doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't for you. Then on the other hand, someone told me to attend the same meeting 6 times before making judgement. Perhaps someone is trying to steal address info to make money.
Thanks everybody for the in-put. I have gotten a lot of insight from you guys. I will ask this person why he feels this is necesary. I have copied much from the AA site to give him on the subject. I know this makes newcomers very uncomfortable. One thing I don't like , is the fact that the notebook is kept in a unlocked file cabinet in the church basement where we meet. And I don't think just anyone needs access to the info.
...at my homegroup, we make it a point to introduce ourselves to newcomers, give them our phone #s, invite them out for coffee,etc... so no need for a "list", which I have seen before, but rarely heard of a newcomer actually USING the list to call anyone, anyway. It is confusing, also, because many A.A.'s out there with millions of years of sobriety don't really sponsor or call people back, anyway. (A.A. is HUGE in my area, with over 300 meetings per week in our schedule book). So I have witnessed a great deal about A.A.ers, in general. What I am saying, is that it is pointless to write out how long someone has been sober, if for one reason or another, he or she is not in a self-decided "good position" to help others. I find that new people are much more likely to make contact with those who take the time to chat; "hang out" with them before and after the meeting, if you will.
I see the most progress with new people who are befriended by A.A.s with around a year of sobriety, who are working the steps. Sometimes, 15 years or 20 years seems so unattainable to a newcomer!!
Just a few comments, based on what I've seen for myself. have a great day, all!!
