Dear Newcomers@MIP I want to share a little of how I was & a message of hope for the difference A.A., this program & the fellowship have made in my life. When I first came into recovery I had been treading water for seven years in the hope life would get better. My heart despite its feist & self-righteous pride & determination was going down the toilet & my spirit was dying.
No one could take me seriously any more, not even myself. Waking up hating me was normality & I was angry about that. I thought it was all about because of my childhood 'I got a shit start in life', 'no one can see how truly special I am', 'why aren't all my dreams coming true', 'who can I/am I going to be?' .. I had no idea for the longest time & had lived in self-pity for as long as I could remember though I didn't call it that. I thought I was something else & just no one could realise.
I'm that person in the BB who judged myself by my intentions while the whole world judged me by my actions. I had to wake up to my pride & false humility. I could never gauge anything realistically. I had wrong thinking & wrong filters. Life can still wallop me today with its bites & dramas but I have such a wealth of true friend & fellowship about me I feel connected today intrinsically in such a way I can hardly remember those old feelings but I do remember & the more I change the more I can see how it was, because I don't need those ways any more.
There is only one way out of the misery for me now & it is to stare unashamedly, barefacedly & unflinchingly at the truth of my reaction to things. I am self-centred. My ego is steeped in fear & anger. I have to be watchful for how these color my view & spoil my day by affecting my attitude.
When people say they're living in the fourth dimension they're talking about having the ability of being able to release themselves from their own negative thinking via the route of the steps which helps to clear the ego of its selfish wants & desires so that we can see the best & more giving side of things. Somehow God's true love is always able to shine through when we are honest, openminded & willing.
If you can even be willing to believe that this will come true for you too keep on working the steps & learning as much as you possibly can about them. No one is lying when they tell you how deeply wonderful they are. They are. They have been & are the only way through for me & they have NEVER let me down. Life isn't meant to be perfect but if we learn to trust in divine providence we come to realise that with EVERY experience comes its very own gift.
You will find all of this for yourself & will be able to share your joy with still others. Keep coming back. It gets easier but only if we put the work in. If you're a real alcoholic like me you need your own spiritual awakening as THE RESULT of working these steps. Your quality of life will improve the better practiced you are at doing as suggested. None of us gets a free ride ;) Godbless. I believe in you all, Danielle x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell on Sunday 17th of January 2010 10:10:02 PM
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Thank You so much Danielle! You have very much helped me to be sober another day. I also thank you for this....
When people say they're living in the fourth dimension they're talking about having the ability of being able to release themselves from their own negative thinking via the route of the steps which helps to clear the ego of its selfish wants & desires so that we can see the best & more giving side of things. Somehow God's true love is always able to shine through when we are honest, openminded & willing.
I honestly had no friggin' idea what this "4th dimension' bit was all about. I thought it was a "Fifth Dimension" tribute-band that cruised county fairs doing songs from "Hair".
