my name is shannon and im 18 years old. im a senior in high school and my moms been an alcoholic for about 20 years. My mom and i are very close and i love her but i hate her just as much. The abuse she does to herself doesnt only effect her but me and my family. She has gone to rehab for pills such as vikidin, perkaset...also for drugs and alcohol. I wish she could just quit it all and givve my little brother a better life than what i had growing up. Last year around christmas she got so fucked up she walked outside into the cold to go to the bar while it was snowing in her pants and a tanktop and passed out in a snow bank for 30 mins until someone finally saw she wasnt getting up and called the cops..she had to go to the hospitol. She always promises shell stop n she doesnt. It just gets annoying
Both my parents are alcoholics and I found the "Adult Children Anonymous Message Board" on the Miracles in Progress Website was where I needed to be for help for myself.
It has been a huge help and comfort to me.
Alcoholics Anonymous is for the person with the drinking problem.
It was a huge relief to me to find the ACOA Miracles in Progress site, to learn I was not alone with my feelings - the same feelings you have described. Swinging from love to hate ........the anger........the broken promises.......
Hope this helps,
Much love, Louisa
-- Edited by louisa on Monday 4th of January 2010 02:39:03 PM
Have you talked to your Counseler about the problems at home, or Your Doctor and/or a Pastor or other Church Personnel--if you are involved with church activities.
Have you been able to talk other family members about your Mom--like your Moms Brother or Sister or Your Grand Parents.
Sounds very much like your Mom needs some type of intervention to wake her up as to how her actions are hurting you and the rest of the family.
Have you heard of Alanon--they help the Family Members to understand what is going on and how to cope/deal with all of the problems.
Need to tell your Mom you Love her but what she is doing is bringing both you and the family down.
Shannon, Nice to meet you and read your post. Sounds like your mom may have a problem. Only she can decide that. I've learned in our program here we don't try to fix the active alcoholic. We do remain ready to assist when they ask for help.
At this point, you need to take care of you. If it were me, I would get in touch with your local Alanon/Alateen group and ask for help. There's also an Alanon message board here at MIP. Great fellowship and they will help you find peace and serenity in all this chaos.
This might not rub you the right way, but heck, going to say it anyway, or ask the question:
If your Mom had MS, or Cancer, or any other life threatening Disease, would you be annoyed, probably the answer to that is, definitely, IF she refused to get help from her Doctor, or take her meds.
Alcoholics suffer with an Illness, according to the American Medical Association. I can feel the pain of you not having a Mom through the "growing up years" was on the other side of that coin, but only for about 5 years of my childrens life, and by then they, (thank God) were in their teens and chose to live with their Dad, and only visit me. I clearly recall and it is still painful to recall the look of dissapointment and pain on their faces.
sorry I digress about my own stuff, but I just wanted to say that with this Disease of Alcoholism, it has, and in my opinion, a much stronger denial system that say if I had another Disease, well I digress again, and yes I did have Breast Cancer, several years ago, got help and major surgery right away. have had different health problems that I did get help with right away too.
But a symptom of the Disease of Alcoholism, is that it is a Disease that will tell you you Dont have a disease. So I hope in my own digressing, I have sort of pointed out that it is a very treacherous Disease, indeed, we here call it "cunning, baffling, and Powerful, and each and every single person on the MIP Board KNOWS exactly that that means,
You are young, but you might remember something of Richard Burton, Liz Taylor's last husband, he had Cancer, a very difficult form, and he also was a major Alcoholic that had surely lived out a lot of his "Yets" like being arrested so many times, not to mention his own personal hell from not stopping, Ok, getting windy here but I did want to say that one of the last public things he said to us in his last few months, and after several attempts to quit drinking was this: (He was camparing the two diseases he had), and said, "Alcoholism is a far more dangerous and lethal Disease that any form of Cancer"
So you and your Mom will be in my Prayers, hope for both of you that someday you can have a decent relationship, and she can somehow make up in someway the hell that she has put you through.
A Big warm Hug to You dear, and I repeat, come back here anytime, we would love to hear about you and your Mom, and any progress that might be taking place.
Hi Shannon, My heart goes out to you and your mom. I grew up the same way with a dad coming home escorted by the police, full of blood or whatever. Every weekend was a new surprise. Very agravating for a young person trying to grow up. I, like alot of others on this post, eventualy went to Adult Children of Alcoholics where I learned how to take care of me amongst all this craziness. Unfortunatly, I was alot older than you and ruined many good years abusing alcohold myself. Good for you for having the courage to reach out! Christine
Hello Shannon! Welcome to the forum.My name is MikeF.I am an addict and have a 23 year old son who is also an addict(heroin)I have been attending every thursday night for last 3 years Naranon,for family and friends of addicts.Similar to AL-anon/Ala-teen but geared more toward Illegal substance abuse.I have learned to 'DETACH WITH LOVE" from my son,set boundaries that I will carry out if not adhered to and learned not to enable his behaviors as I know that no one can help the addict unless they 'want it".He is now working a program which is part of his requirements for living at home with us until he finds his own place.Learning about enabling behaviors,allowing others to find there way and realizing 'that there is a time when you "have to let go"is very importany for "your" sanity.You are young but I would suggest getting into a program for youself as soon as you can.You will find others with similar or even more difficult situations then your own and will not feel so overwhlmed,angry,embarrassed,and all the rollercoaster emotions I know you are going through.I will keep both you and your family and mother in prayer.Keep coming back let us know how you are doing!.
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
