Hope everyone had a safe and sober holiday. It was lovely here. My youngest stepson, whom I had worried about "acting out" while he was here, as he has some damage which creates horrible outbursts of rage... well, he has never been as WELL as I have seen him this past week. Usually traveling 1,000 miles here and having things be so different here for a 10 year old than at home, he would have some pretty bad episodes. But by the Grace of God, and a great mom and counselor and psychiatrist, he is on the right medication and has had the right therapy, and is functioning quite well at this time. He was a JOY to be around, and we had never bonded so much as we did this time. We were "Wii buddies" while his dad played PS3 with the older boy.... :o)

But I will say that teenage boys SUCK!! His 14 year old brother who used to be such a good kid is now a sexist pig and uses the filthiest language you could imagine. I hope he grows out of it soooon. He thinks he is some kind of SEX GOD, and he is only 14!! Disgusting!! I hope he grows up soon.

Had an urge New Year's Eve, as I was feeling sorry for myself, the kids were gone and my husband worked til very late at night towing away drunk drivers... that old thought that "I could control it just for one night" thinking popped up as I was driving home from the gas station where I had run to get cigarettes. By the Grace of God, I recoiled from that thought as from a hot flame, as it talks about in the Big Book. The steps I have worked and the hours and hours of meetings I have sat through and the prayers I have said paid off that night. There is no way that I would have thought with common sense instead of insanity, if not for AA and I am truly grateful I could still ring in the New Year, 2 years sober.

Have some personal worries going on right now, I guess some flashbacks of betrayal in my recent past here on the homefront, and I worry from time to time. I am so afraid to be hurt these days. It takes a lot for me to be hurt or take something personally. But this situation lights my head on fire every time, so I ask for prayers that I can stay sane and yet realistic in that department.

Thanks, and see you all soon.
Happy New Year,
joni

-- Edited by jonijoni1 on Sunday 3rd of January 2010 02:13:56 AM