Good Morning, I am brand new to this site today. Been sober before thru AA for sixteen years, then relapsed. Yes, it is very true about everything that you have heard, It is cunning, baffling and powerful! I stopped going to meetings cause I thought I could run my own show, lost contact with sponsor and slowly my spirittuality slipped away and I relapsed. Been sober now for 13 months and my life is coming back together, one day at a time. I nearly lost everything, this time and I really can't express to you how important it is to stay in touch with the program and all of the things we all need to do in order to stay sober. Once you think that you can control your own life (ego!) you will slowly start to slip away into the old stinkin' habits. I have learned so much this time around...and my eyes have really opened in a different way and many things have been revealed to me except in a much more understanding and profound way. I would love to hear from others who may have suffered through some similar circumstances...
I think that this site is a great tool in my road to recovery and I'm thankful that it is here.
I would like to hear back from as many people as possible on this subject...or just a hello, or sobriety or recovery related.
Welcome Michael. Your words are powerful and they do keep me filled with somewhat of a healthy fear of relapse. I am only 15 months sober and still very immersed in AA. Thus far, I picked up 1 white chip in AA and have just kept going. Regardless, I know that this could all end if I don't do what got me just this short amount of sobriety time (while not a total newcomer anymore, I realize my sobriety is still in its infancy). I look forward to hearing more from you. I think it takes such strength and courage to get back into the program after a relapse like you described. I have several friends in my fellowship who share that story. On relapsing after 22 years and just got a year back...another going out on painkillers after double digit sobriety and also just go a year back. It is cunning, baffling, and powerful because I know part of recovery is for me to have a life outside of the rooms...but I can't venture too far from the program or I will start thinking I have life under my control and I really don't. Anyhow, very happy to see you hear and look foward to hearing about your recovery. Welcome again!
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
So great to see people come back after a slip. It helps me remember that I can never take for granted the program of AA and my spirituality. I'm glad you chose sobriety over drinking and death. Stick around and share your ESH with us, and help us all stay sober one day at a time!
Welcome back michaelca! Glad you made it,some don't!!!..Again one of my favorite pieces of literature tells us in "recovery and relapse" that the "progression of recovery is a continuous uphill journey,without effort we start down the hill again,The progress of the disease is an ongoing process even in abstinence!!Complacency is the enemy of those with substantial cleantime,if we are complacent for too long the recovery process ceases!!Man how true huh! We are all but one bad decision away from devastation so thanks for the reminders and also I wish you well in your "journey back into life"With God all things are possible!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thank you all so very much who have responed to my posting. It never ceases to amaze me how powerful this deseaase is! Your words of welcome and encouragement mean more to me than you will ever know. Yes, God has blessed me and has seen to it that I get what I need, and I truly need my program of recovery. Thank you again, and may God bless all of you.
My Christmas gift from a relapser...So grateful you dropped in Michael. I hand with relapsers to find out what they know because this disease is cunning, powerful and baffling beyond words. I have recently completed an inventory on my recovery from just before I came into the program and why and my first introduction to the program; and Al-Anon including my thoughts and feelings; I included more research from the old professional foundation stones to AA such as Dr. Tiebout (sp) and good feedback on the subject of denial etc. My subconscious was doing disrespectful things to my alcoholic mind and was beginning to convince my conscious mind to grab a intellectual drink and join in on the effort. I've got several recovering buddies who have relapsed in the past who have been willing to share that part of their journey with me and listen to what I have found out also. The consequence?; My subconscious has left the area and my conscious mind has made an amends. I believe that the fellowship needs more deliberate discussion and input on relapse led especially by relapsers. I also have the experience of being at funerals of some who have relapsed and not made it back. Sad regarding maybe a missed opportunity from the fellowship. Relapse is real and just as sad and stunning as the first run. Pride and ego played central roles in my discovery.
Thanks for being here and sharing your journey. You didn't loose the first section of your journey.
Thanks for your post, Michaela. I hope you write often. I'm only 40 days sober and it's the honesty of people who have been in the program a long time who give me strength, hope and courage. The support of others is invaluable. I'm glad you found the site and the faith to come back after a relapse. Your message to me is to pay more attention to meetings. Right now I only go to one a week and it's a gem but I need to make the commitment (and time) to go to more - even when it's freezing and dark outside. Please be a regular. MAL
