I just wanted to share some experience, strength, & hope, particularly with those who are returning after a relapse. I was the speaker at a recent meeting and a fellow AA member I've known for over a decade came up to me after the meeting and said this:
"I was at a meeting about a year ago where you were also the speaker. I came to the meeting with less than a day sober after relapsing after 9 years of sobriety. I heard you share about returning to the Program after relapsing after 18 years of sobriety. I hadn't known that you had relapsed at all, and I had come to the meeting looking for an excuse to leave because I felt so bad about myself. But, then you spoke and shared your experience about swallowing your pride and coming back to the meetings having relapsed with 18 years sober. I said to myself then, "if she can do it after 'losing all that time,' I can too."
The member that shared this with me now has been sober again for over a year, and has not had a drink since that meeting when I was privileged to be the speaker. I can't express the sense of gratitude I had in hearing this. Rarely do we get to hear so directly how sharing our experience, strength and hope can touch another person's life. Now, over three years' sober again (and added to the 18 before, makes it 21 years ), I am so tremendously grateful for AA fellowship, including my friends here on M.I.P.
So, to all of those who might be experiencing a sense of loss, guilt and shame upon returning from a relapse, I can tell you from my own experience that it will get better and better and better. As someone said in a recent post: you have not lost the prior experience you had being sober. If anything, you will gain new insight, compassion and gratitude as a result of traveling the way back to sobriety.
We lose a lot during and after a relapse, but if fortunate enough to survive it and make it back into sobriety and recovery, then we have gained far, far, more than could ever be lost.
Thanks BGG...like Jerry said....... one person's struggle often times helps another without that person even knowing it. Thanks to another post of this board, I ordered the book Staying Sober by Terri Gorski. It arrived yesterday and I can already tell it is a keeper. I believe it was StPeteDean (shout out to Dean!) who recommended it to someone else on this board whose story sounded similar to mine and so I decided to order it for myself.
-- Edited by SoberBridget on Friday 25th of December 2009 05:41:17 AM
The suggestions and advice from people in AA saved my butt a number of times. Alcoholism is a disease of isolation and I truly think recovery starts with reconnecting to people (God's children) and then finding God again from there. That's how it was with me anyhow. And like Bridget, people on this board made incredible suggestions to me as well and I am grateful for that. Merry Xmas everyone.
Mark
-- Edited by pinkchip on Friday 25th of December 2009 07:48:03 AM
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Wow, loved this Post, it stirred up an old memory. A woman that had agreed to be my temporary Sponsor, she was working on becoming an AA counselor, anyway, there we were, sitting in Denny's in Seattleat 4:00 in the morning, and she was listening to my blabbering about losing my family, then losing different things, like my house, and being a chronic relapser,at that time, pushing 10 years of the swinging door to AA, and did not know how to stop the Progression of this incomphehensible demoralinzation, and I just did not have a clue how to Stop Drinking, when the compulsion was strong. Well she was polite, but was clearly not taking in all my mello-drama, and just was giving me a compassionate look, and kept repeating one thing to me.
"Toni, if you will put your SOBRIETY in FRONT of EVERYTHING, chances are very good, that you can KEEP it". and if you put ANYTHING in Front of your Sobriety, the chances are you will not be able to keep it".
Well at about 5:00 a.m. we said good-bye, had her phone number, but did not ever use it. But the words she chose, and the consequences of exactly what she had said, changed my entire, alcohol drenched life.
I used her words, incorporated them, putting those words before any contact with other people, out of the Program. and as she suggested to me, I did keep Sobriety in Front of absolutely EVERYTHING in my life.....
It does make me feel some sadness that I cannot ever call her and say Thank You for Saving my Life.
But in the same theme thoughout this thread, people just dont know how their words will impact another, and save them from an alcoholic death.
Thanks for stirring that almost 20 year old memory, A wonderful Christmas gift.
Thank you BGG, and Merry Christmas to you!
-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 25th of December 2009 11:07:02 AM
), I am so tremendously grateful for AA fellowship, including my friends here on M.I.P. 