Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation.
So I am still reaching...and practicing what I've learned also. ((((hugs))))
hi...somewhere u mentioned sweets...here's a snippet from "Eating Right to Live Sober" by Katherin Mueller and Ann Ketcham. "...sugar causes most alcoholics to have blood-sugar problems that can cause depression, mental confusion, and irritability and create a strong and sometimes irresistible desire for a drink." I have learned I really have to minimize sweets and all refined carbohydrates to maintain my healthiest mental state...that there really is no mind-body separation. I think much that we tend to think is the "subconscious", regarding dry drunks and the relapse progress, is really our neurophysiology and not our psycholological state.
wow what Leeu wrote was just the same thing on my mind. have felt that way for a long time. However, I dont hold back on the sugars, have one spoon in my coffee, and whenever something is around like Ice Cream, seem to have some every evening I remember it is there.
And this morning, was when I was really thinking over your words on sweets, I had been given a bag of Gadiva Chocolates last night, and did not open last night.
But this morning when I was having my one cup of coffee, fingers opened bag, and just in the same manner that I used to never be able to stop with Alcohol, I had one piece, then two, then three at the same time, just like a two year old, til the bag was empty, I was sort of almost laughing at the sick feeling that followed, and then realized that it was not so funny, and cannot play little childrens roles at my age.
Years ago when i was trying really hard to lose weight, I had 30 lbs I need to take off, and did not diet, just switched over to very healthy food, and the 30 lbs, just fell off, I went in to the gym where I had been going, and when this woman that ran this health clinic asked me how are you doing with sugar, she did not know I was in the Program. I told her, that I was really doing well, and said, I went somewhere, on Friday nite, where they had a plate of donuts, and i treated myself to one lemon Jelly donut. She did not judge it, she said well Toni, that is like an alcoholic treating himself to one drink after abstaining for a long time. Wow, that stuck in me, and today, I have been very aware of sugar foods being on my mind, will get over it, but it did trigger a sugar fix mindset.
so hope you did not mind this endless rant on my sugar problems, but am thinking about what Leeu wrote, a neurophisiiogical response as opposed to a subconscious thing, it sure would fit me for today.
One last thing, there is a little book, cannot remember the auther, but an excellent book on refined sugars and what they do to the body. "Sugar Blues" is the name of the book, sure it is around at amazon.com. very small and powerful book, and pretty sure too that is would be very little money.
So hope you had a better day today my dear friend. I hate it when I preceive someone I care about is suffering, and I am getting that from you today.
Love you Jerry, Tonicakes.... PS, Just went back and reread your "Tiger at the..." and noticed that you mentioned, "Nighttime, Sweets are a Given, huh?
How about an experiment, no sweets for say one week, and then, if that works try two weeks. If you apply that Law of Habituating anything...the theory is that if you do something, anything, for 18 continueous days, it will become a habit, or second nature, have tried it on a few different things, and it seems to work, or at least raise our own awareness of itto a much higher level, so we can continue to seek to make that change. toodles, toni.
-- Edited by Just Toni on Monday 14th of December 2009 08:25:46 PM
Leeu has hit one denial button...Have known about the sugar connection from the start and had it reinforced not too long ago when thinking I would take the psycological profile for an alcoholic...I stopped after the first two on the list aware that I was playing with the aspect of denial...The first two points were 1. Risk taker and the next 2. heavy use of sugar. Might not fit for all but I am looking at it and going sugar free in the hunt. I've also redone an inventory of how and why I got to the program and what happened along the way that I haven't looked seriously enough at including the mind games I've played that alter the picture for me. The "Survivor" from the drinking wars is beginning to play a more contrasted part. For example if I survived overdose events and continued to drink does that really count? Consciously that is on the list that identifies me as alcoholic...subconsciously its been telling me that I am a bit different than others because I was able to stand back up and still pick up.
Cunning Powerful and baffling rationalization process. Upper management says don't drink ever again while the work force is saying ...done for the day a beer would be good with that pumpkin pie or instead of the oreo cookies. I never did beer if I could do high octane...never.
For me Denial is a control issue. I want: what I want; to believe or not believe as I see fit and want people, place and things to appear/act/be how I want them.
When I let go - my denial is usually revealed and relieved.
(I pasted this from the reaching post....didn't know it had carried over to this thread.. :)
Thankfully sugar is one area where I don't have a problem. yay!!
In the past 2 years, I've given up smoking, meat of any kind including fish, I've lost 120 pounds, became a marathon runner and now struggle on a daily basis with my addiction to alcohol.
