........half an hour on here puts things in perspective. when i get down it's becuase i lose perspective and start off thinking that the world revolves around me, even a little bit. (we all know that the world used to revolve around Tallulah Bankhead don't we? - her 'famous last words' were 'well who's the world gonna revolve around now!' - alledgedly.)
Anyway - I know what teh problem with me today is - I wrote amends to my son on Saturday, the letter should arrive today - what's he gonna do with it? Guess what - I have no idea and i am powerless over my Son and his actions and reactions and I need to keep that fixed and believe it!
But, like I said, half an hour on here, turn the work phone off, make a big mug of tea, read about others, get out of my own pit of self pity and worry, get back into perspective, get some gratitude back in my life, remember just how sh1tty life was a few years ago, look at how good life is now. Look forward to tonights meeting, stop worrying about finding a main sharer, think of others more than myself, send a prayer up for my famly, that they get everything that they need and most of what they want and say a prayer for myself.
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference amen.
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Also, you could consider that there is a chance that this may have a positive result with your son, but even if the immediate reaction is not good, you have taken a brave step. The ammends to your son starts a layer of trust between your son and you, and even though there is a possibility he may initially reject the ammends, there is also the possibility that it may bring an immediate turnaround! I say this to point out that it is your brave, honest, humble ACT, which is a trigger point to solving a sorrow in your life, has been taken by you as an ACTION to solve it! For that you should feel good while sipping your tea. Without taking this step, the wound would continue to fester. Now it begins to heal. You know all this and it is in your serenity prayer above, but sometimes I like to point out that taking ACTION on things that are painful in a humble contrite way, is not something that is a standard in society. By taking those actions, you really take a brave, upstanding stance that is very heroic and sets you apart in todays society. In AA we make that the standard, but I do think its good to have perspective on why you should be a little uplifted even in your doldrums. Good luck, Tom
-- Edited by turninggrey on Tuesday 8th of December 2009 08:05:57 AM
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Howdy, Thank's for the topic. Had the roof fall in on the money end of life and started spinning pretty hard. Even though "our trouble was of our own making" I still got to whimpering and sniveling. I needed to be reminded the world don't siwng around Toad, and that a careing Higher Power ain't keeping score.
Hi, I did the same letter thing with two daughters many years ago. One responded "Dad, I forgave you long ago, I was just waiting for an apology." The other daughter has never mentioned it but certainly wants me in her life.
There is a quote similar to your signature that I can't remember. It is something like we achieve wealth or richness not by needing more but by wanting less. Any help here? Neil
Thanks for the replies. just writing it down makes me feel uplifted. As my sponsor keeps telling me when i see the negative side of things - yes, but it might be different.
I wrote amends to my daughter around this time last year. It took some weeks before she contcted me and boy did she give me both barrels. it was like having a phone call with the girl out of Exorcist.
22 seconds later, the phone wnet down with a bang. 2 hours later she rang me back to make sure I hadn't topped myself (obviously she doesn't give two hoots for me?) and we talked for an hour. We haven't talked since but she has started her own healing and I could not ask for more than that.
let's just see what happens with my son, but that won't happen to my timescale, that'll happen in God's good time.
and my sig - it's a steal from a song lyric.
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Mahalo BB...I'm gonna use that positive process as I am needing it and I know you'd wish that it help anyone reaching out. I've already had the tea. Instead of the morning meeting I took the pups for a walk. I've got work to do that will keep my mind and spirit busy and away from "the pit" and then the intergroup meeting this evening. I'm reading your original post one more time and then starting out.
The amends part of it to your son is just a memory for me. My kids have always had that "willing" alter ego of mine and were not sad that the notoriety of their father was now gone thanks to the program and an HP that likes it better when I am still and of greater use to it.
