Hey guys, I haven't been around for a while, cause things were going so well! My hubby hates the holidays, does not believe in God, or Christmas, Thanksgiving, anniversaries, birthdays. I've slipped...(self medication). Not good. Anyway, just checking in and asking for help and advice!
That is a tough one. Just because he doesn't believe doesn't mean they have to be ruined for you. I have been saying the serenity prayer A LOT during the holidays. I have to remember my motives and stick with them.
Keep coming back!
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<3 <3 Stephanie <3 <3 "What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things."
Hey, glad you are here and asking for help! That is a very good decision, so give yourself a pat on the back for that. For some people, it is so hard to ask for help, they DIE instead.
Ugh, I could not imagine having a Scrooge around the holidays. That would suck. Have you ever called him Scrooge to see what the reaction would be? (Not suggesting that you do, just wondering what the reaction was, if you have!)
Do you two have any children? Do you have other family or healthy friends, or AA friends, who are "into" the holidays, that you could spend time with? If I were in that situation, I would go on and go about having my Holidays, with or without someone who puts a damper on things. I would go right ahead and be out with the sober gals, or with family, shopping, seeing movies, or whatever. He might not like sitting a lone saying "humbug" while you are out celebrating the wonderful season. He maight even come around, no? Then again, we can't change anybody....
I just don't want you to use this as a reason to drink. You go out there and do some things with your friends/AA family, anyone you know and love who does not drink, or will not drink while you are with them. Don't spoil the holiday either by missing out, or by drinking.
Hugs and Love to you, Joni
-- Edited by jonijoni1 on Thursday 3rd of December 2009 10:15:09 PM
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I was miserable on Thanksgiving. Sad about feeling so miserable. A wise and kind person in my meeting the next day, said you were sober, and that can be enough of a gift. In fact today I can say that was a fantastic gift to myself and all and it is more than enough.
about the stress of the holidays, how others do theirs, no matter who they are, I like what Phil wrote, Turn Brain Off.
About your slip with self medication, that was yesterday, today is a brand new 24 hours, right.
Prsonally feel this stuff every week following Thanksgiving, like we are all thrown into some pressure capsule. The combination of not enough money and the thought of really wanting to buy the ones we love a really nice gift. Threw out all credit cards, so that is not the problem, I cannot buy now and suffer later, that is a good thing.
Try so hard to go to the Sacred Part of this upcoming Holiday in my heart and stay there, but head spins, heart is calm. not a fun combination, oh yeah, Powerless, I am Powerless over People, Places and Things.
Pretty sure that there is a need for a lot more Meditation this month, I am going to go there. Asking my HP to help me go and stay in Step 11.
Ok, doing what I thought was a good idea, turning Brain off, NOW.
PJ, I Pray that you find a way to celebrate your own Holiday in Peace, no matter what anyone else does.
Toodles, Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 4th of December 2009 10:07:27 AM
Do you believe in Christmas, Anniversaries and similiar holidays?
If you do, then enjoy them for You !!
I realize it can be tuff when somebody in the home or close to you does not feel the way you feel. but it certainly doesn't mean that you have to be miserable.
Get to some AA meetings, join in the fellowship and make new friends ... ones who are positive, happy and can help you get thru the sadness you are feeling.
I try and remember I didn't just drink on holidays...I drank everyday. So...no holiday is much of an excuse to drink for me...at least that's my take at this moment.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
