Hi there. Does your son have military benefits? If so, you could contact someone that manages the benefits within the VA, and surely find a place where veterans can get treatment at no, or very little cost. (I should hope???)

Otherwise, does he have a stable mailing address??? I would get in touch with the county health department of his county of residence, as they ought to know where you could get him some treatment at a facility that is either partially, or totally funded by the county or state.

In my area, (Akron/Cleveland, Ohio), there are several such places, and you must be a resident of the county where the treatment facility is funded, and also meet some financial requirements, such as being seen as a "person of need" so far as yearly income.

Any local, city, county or state health department should be able to point you in the right direction. Also, calling your local AA office (look in the phone book) would surely know what treatment programs are available, and at what cost levels. You may even think to try and get him into counseling first through the county, and from there they can assess him and get him into a cost-effective program.

In addition, the Salvation Army has treatment centers and centers for people just getting out of prison, to get drug abstention skills before entering the community again. Some of these are connected, with part being treatment center, and part being for the convicts. I attended one of the Salvation Army's centers, called "Harbor Lights" in Cleveland, Ohio, and the treatment was fantastic. There are such places around the country.

I do hope your son gets the help and loving care that he needs. It is a travesty that our society does not see to it that our elected officials provide MORE and BETTER alternatives when dealing with the health and well being of our veterans, whether active or inactive. I will be praying for your son, and please keep us posted on what you find out. You are very welcome here, and I would like to share a big hug. And thank your son, from me, for his service, and let him know he is being prayed for.

Joni

Barbara,
Welcome and thank you for the inquiry.  I believe Dean is right on.  He usually is... lots of experience.  I assume you ran this question through you Alanon peers?  Very good program and they can also assist you.  You son is 40 and currently in Rehab.  It's time for him to decide whether he wants to stay clean and sober.  By you doing all the work for him- takes the responsbility of his recovery away from him.    If he wants recovery more than to use alcohol or drugs the rehab will assist him with finding a place or program to meet his needs.  Rehabs that I've been to put a recovery plan in place prior to departure.  I would have to think this is the norm.

This may sound strong but I'd let him know that you love him enough to let go and find his way on his own.  When/if he finds recovery and has some time clean & sober you'll be there for him.  Sorta detaching with love.  You need to take care of yourself during this.  You won't be able to get him clean or keep him clean, but you may enable him to continue using and abusing.  Remember; you didn't cause this, you can't cure it and you can't control it.

It took my wife and family to finally let me go my own path before I did it for myself.  I'm glad now they did. 

Hey Barbara,
I'm a vet and I really think you should let him stay in the VA program. He does not need a Gucci program. I know its tough on you but he will get the correct amount of sympathy at the VA for his circumstances.
Tom