Hi There Toad,

I was one of those people, felt it everytime it was read from How it Works, and by the Grace of God, I became one of "But they can and do Recovery, if they have the Capacity to be Honest"

Getting Honest, after a Life of just the opposite, the word Honest would make me wince and cringe everytime, and then when faced with my own mortality, did I see that if I would just turn to God, and and I did.  A Simple Prayer of Dear God  Please show me a Different Way, will YOU,  then  directed back to the Meetings,  and try one day at a time to try that honesty.  And what I gleened over the years from that, was When You Know Better, You do Better.

Thanks for this reminder of where it was that I came from, never can get too much humility, can we???  Staying honest with my fellows, friends and family, and mostly with myself.

Toni



-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 27th of November 2009 10:43:08 AM

I have grave emotional disorders. I used to justify my relapses by telling myself I was "constitutionally incapable" of being honest with myself. It was merely an excuse and it was another lie. The reality was that I knew the truth and it terrified me. I didn't fear Death, I feared Life. I kept drinking and drugging and hoping to die.

God had other plans.

Now I am mostly honest. My lapses into dishonesty scare me. Progress, not perfection.

Love ya.
Glad yer here.
Keep coming back.

Hi Again Toad,

When Sobriety begins, with the working of all of the steps, and we think we are really getting better, when we are peeling that Proverbial Onion, then out comes some Oh My God, that?????? and share your thoughts, yes indeed a very emotional  and new sober BOTTOM indeed, and crying out to our HP, This now???

Well if we had not been sober, and then just continuing to do everything to maintain that Sobriety, no matter what, we are faced with some very daunting tasks, I had to be in Therapy for over 7 years, and I recall being just a tad annoyed like "why dont others have to do this too"  Well the truth of the matter, was I had no idea what it was there had to go through on the inside. We go to meetings, we share our daily love of Sobriety, but this one, I did not feel too comfortable sharing, I did mention that i had other work that needed to be completed if I wanted a better chance at Sobriety, that was of couse my reasoning.

We all in Recovery, and in life, are just delt the cards we are dealt and have to keep turning them over and facing them if we are going to continue living one day at a time, Sober. 

Today I see that difficult work as a complete Godsend, and so grateful to God that I had the right person to do that work with. So the grave and emotional disorder illness, behind the illness of Alcoholism,  was lifted, and I was free. And just as it is written, by my  new capacity to be honest with myself and others.
Rigerous Honesty is what is such a major part of staying Sober, just one day at a time.

Thanks for letting me get this all out.
Toni

-- Edited by Just Toni on Saturday 28th of November 2009 07:04:07 PM

Yah, I cringed and had the same reaction as Jasper...it was the grave emotional disorder part. Then I had to examine how grave my emotional disorder really is. Yeah, it's there, but I have lived with it for 12 years and I seek treatment for it and have survived multiple depressive episodes. Shrug. I do try to be as honest as I can without delving into a serious pity party.