Have any of you ever had the experience in a meeting where you felt an instant dislike for a person and then it was that person that later became one of your best friends? Odd how AA works like that. Also seems that at least a few times, the person I feel annoyed by somehow winds up coming up with the best message for me to hear at some point. I'm sure there's a longwinded psychological explanation for this but I guess I will just say for now that I'm glad my mind is open enough to be swayed from 1st impressions. Goes to show also that my first thought is typically wrong as they say....
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I follow ya. I think it's called projection, or somekind of term for identifying faults in others that we fear or fail to acknowledge in ourselves. In my case, the people in my homegroup that I "didn't like" represented the very arrogant (my character defect #1) and the quick-tempered, physically superior and maybe even just a little nuts (he just scares, man).
It has happened to me in the past that previous judgements I made of ppl in the rooms have changed to a positive attitude towards those ppl. I just gotta stay open minded. Nothing says I have to like everybody, but Im suppose to treat ppl just the same way I want to be treated, regardless of who or what they are.
One of the first things I felt I recognized of myself when I first came to meetings was this: I had and still do to some extent have intense fear of speaking up and sharing in the rooms. I broke it down to essentially fear of judgement by others. And guess what, my second revelation was that I am the first to judge others. Many of my initial judgements of people in the rooms have been totally debunked. Those I was so afraid of in the beginning are some of the most affectionate and loving to me. One lady I assumed to be uneducated and clueless. Turns out she went to one of the most revered private colleges in the U.S. and worked on Wall ST. and in L.A. in business for years throughout her drinking career. It just turns out she has found serenity in gardening for others and that being sober and quiet is better that any high-powered career for her.
I can't wait to let go of those old habits, and see what goodness develops in my new relationships with people. On my bad days I still latch onto old ways of thinking. Patience. I wish I was a dog, because contrary to the saying I believe you can teach an old dog new tricks; it's the human mind that gets welded into position.
My yoga teacher used to point out how hard it is to get a middle-aged or adult body to change posture or the way it moves. People start to think that's just how they were fashioned. Eventually the spine and bones fuse in unnatural positions that come to feel normal.
Mostly these days I wish I could trade my mind in. That thread with talk of Monty Python reminded me of the comedy movie "Young Frankenstein". I often feel like I got the Abby Normal brain and I just now am realizing it.
I think I'd like to leave the judging up to the powers up above. I believe my HP to be infinitely loving and kind and wise, that's the best to judge fairly.
