Hi everyone, my name is Jeff. I've been sober since 8/1/07. I do have a few questions for anyone willing to answer.
1. I am an Atheist. As you can imagine, the spiritual side of AA is a major obstacle for me. Are there any other members on this forum that are not believers?
2. My sobriety has been going on for over 2 years now, and I haven't gone to a single meeting in about 4 years. I was in and out of the rooms at least 3 different times between '03 and '05. I know I am not unique. Is there anyone else here who has gone a long time without meetings?
welcome to the board. I don't think that I've gone a whole year without a meeting but there was a five year stretch that I only hit a few a year. Usually a couple months before my anni cause I felt guilty. We do have a resident "non-believer" (Paging Toby, please pick up the red phone.) He does quite well, but he does go to meetings. You know you don't have to believe in anything in order to work the program. You can use an HP that is non theistic and it'll work just fine. It's just as well for a psychological model, basically to indentify that WE aren't God or the center of the universe as selfishness is the route cause of our illness including low self esteem.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 9th of November 2009 11:54:14 PM
I believe in God. I always have. I just didnt know that I could have a personal relationship with this God until I came thru the doors of AA ... and that is when I got a sponsor who helped me to learn how to rely on this God for my strength.
Meetings are where I share my esh and listen to others do the same. Meetings are where I might find another drunk to work with , cuz thats what the book tells me ... I have to work with other drunks in order to maintain my own sobriety.
I attend approx. 1-2 meetings a week. I always make my home group meeting and that is a BB meeting. Meetings are important to me, yes . But they dont keep me sober.
I'm not an atheist, or agnostic or theist, or anything really. I first used the Group of Drunks and Good Orderly Discipline as a higher power, though i would say that it was johnny Cash or BB King or Eric Clapton that wuz my HP cos i thought you had to have one that others could see.
I did a bit of God Shopping - different religions etc. that didn't suit.
Two things made the difference for me, though not straight away. One was there is a God and it's not You, courtesy of my sponsors partner. The other was I went for teh second time to a retreat at a catholic monastery. we had a monk attached to us, available as and when. My sponsor asked him what is God? after some thought he replied God is Love. That's all he said.
i went away and thought long about this and came to the conclusion that there is a power greater than myself, it used to be the bottle now it's a power for good. that power is best described as love.
So what is my HP then? well it's still the Group Of Drunks that help me stay sober, but for my own personal HP there's something else, that I cannot name, that I don't understand, that i cannot describe because i cannot visualise. the only thing I know is that it's not me and it wants only the best for me. maybe i've developed a conscience?
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Hey jrzboy - I never know what to say when people ask me questions like "are you an atheist/believer/etc". I didn't grow up with any religion and honestly I don't "get" religion at all. It's just not me. Do I believe in God? Depends on the definition of "god". Generally I would say I don't know. Not knowing makes sense to me. I've been in different places with this during my sobriety, and generally now I don't believe in a formal God but I know that certain actions help my life, and there are forces (laws?) much more powerful than my individual actions. I really don't believe much in a "personal" god, in a god that is making decisions directly in my life. But some amazing things in my life have made me believe in "the spirit of the universe". It just seems the world is so much more complicated than all that. So basically I'm somewhat at peace with not declaring myself anything right now.
About meetings, I've always gone but like St.Pete Dean said, some years have been better than others. Meetings give me structure, accountability and fellowship. Right now I pretty much only go to one meeting a week. I love going but I work full time and have a small child and get really, really torn about my "free time". But the worst thing I could do for my child is not treat my alcoholism and drink, that would be worse than missing her a few hours a week. I've known people who have stayed sober long periods without meetings. But personally I like what meetings do for me.
Welcome jrzboy. Congrats on a whole bunch of sobriety.
Interesting question. I used to struggle soooo much with the God concept in AA. Then I caught on to the line that "God is everything or he is nothing." Now I don't struggle. I accept that my Higher Power has done for me what I couldn't do for myself, which is to keep out of the pubs sucking Stella today. Worked for me today.
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