After years of problems, I'm trying to take a stand against what I sometimes believe to be stronger than myself. Probably no secret that it's my drinking.
I'm probably alot further along than most who seek help, but my assumption that I can do it on my own has lead me back every time.
33 years old, and have had a beer in my hand since 1998
The list of arrests, jail, DUI's would lend some to think I'm a complete out of controll dirtbag that should be locked up for years..
However it's actually alot different, Everyone likes me (when sober) and I do pretty good in life..
Congratulations on finding your way here, give this program a chance. I have been amazed at the results after 20 years of drinking I found my way here at 38. At first I was irritated with myself for taking so long to realize I could live clean and sober but now I am just gratefull to have been given the chance to live the rest of my life this way.
Welcome to the board. I was a daily beer drinker for the last 10 years (hard liquor sent me straight into blackouts). I stayed employed throughout my drinking career and was actually managing hi-rise building construction in the last 5 years of it. Dui's and Dips where part of my story and good indicators of my acute problems with alcohol and one of the main reasons for me to finally head in to AA and fully commit to working this program, that and losing my mind. Stick around and help us to stay sober.
Welcome Scott! It takes courage to admit a problem. I also stayed employed throughout my drinking... I do think that was about to change if I didn't stop when I did though. Also, people generally liked me sober, but I did not like myself at all so that is where the real problem was and is for me. Keep us updated and welcome to the board again!
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Scott, Welcome! Glad you made your way here. It wasn't by mistake. We all have different journeys getting here, but the roads all lead to the same spot. The choice to live with Alcohol: Jail, Institutions and Death or live a spiritual live(AA): happy, joyous and free is sometimes a hard decision for us alcoholics. It was for me. I admitted I was an alcoholic for years, but never accepted that fact and did anything about it. I tried hundreds of times to stop or moderate on my own- I failed miserably.
The good news is there's a program(AA) that can remove the obession to drink, provide you with a new attitude and outlook upon life(for the better) and let you live a happy, joyous and free life.
I'm still on the fence about going to a meeting, some of the problem is the whole transportation thing...
Really what I'm struggling with is the fact that I moved home and am trying to stay sober, and also due to the license suspention ... I get a couple days in, or even 2-3 weeks in but always find some excuse to have a drink. It's incredibly hard to resist, a member of my family drinks everyday, right in front of me. Obviously I'm stuck here 24 hours
I can't say anything due to the fact that they are helping me out, but having to be around, smell, see the stuff just drives me nuts.
Sometime I'll go to visit a friend, that's used as a drinking excuse also, and now that I've shown my darker side there, they have made a rule that I not come there unless completly sober for the entire duration..
I'm the drinking type that if the first one is had, that's it, I drink untill pass-out.
-- Edited by Aprilia on Friday 6th of November 2009 10:54:25 AM
-- Edited by Aprilia on Friday 6th of November 2009 10:55:45 AM
AA is a fellowship of men and women who's common interest is to stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. With that said, if you call your local AA office, the phones are staffed with recovering AAs. You can request that someone give you a ride (take you) to a meeting or a few meetings. Once there that person can introduce you to some folks and you can probably find a couple that would be willing to help you get to meetings. It's this kind of service work that helps us to stay sober, and you of course can pay it forward later by helping someone else. Also choosing to live in a place where people drink, especially family isn't a good idea in terms of getting sober. There is already the stigma associated with family, but putting a daily drinker into the equation makes the odds of you getting sober much stepper. Trying to do on you own in the situation, nearly impossible imo. If you want to get sober, call AA and get to meetings regularly. Then sort out a place to live with sober room mates.
There is absolutely no valid excuse for me to not get to a meeting . I always found a way to get to the bar or the store to buy more booze.
Hmm, I guess I never really thought that ppl might consider me a dirtbad cuz I had been to jail, arrested and dui offenses, lol.
I didnt give a fat rats butt what others thought of me when I was boozin it up. well, thats not entirely true. I cared what you thought about me for about the first dozen drinks, then after that I got mean and nasty and was usually comatose and still standing ready to kick your butt ..at that point I didnt care what you thought about me, cuz I just plain old didnt care about myself.
all that has most definately changed cuz of AA and the God I found here.
Today Im not that helpless, hopeless falling down drunk I use to be.
Get to a meeting, give it a shot. What have you got to lose ?
"I didnt give a fat rats butt what others thought of me when I was boozin it up. well, thats not entirely true. I cared what you thought about me for about the first dozen drinks, then after that I got mean and nasty and was usually comatose and still standing ready to kick your butt ..at that point I didnt care what you thought about me, cuz I just plain old didnt care about myself. "
I could not have typed something so exactly similar that describes my drinking....
Right now as I type this, I'm home alone, and there is a case of beer on the kitchen table. It's just calling my name telling me one will be fine. I know that's not the case, one will be 14..
How is an acceptable way to approach this person and ask that they not drink around me when it's their home??
I know the ideal situation would be to find a place without booze in it, but finantial situations, and the fact that I work from home is completly not dooable at this time.
After the last stint in jail, I fell back on the beer hard, locking myself in my place, only opening the door to get to the store (for more beer). When my family saw that, they pulled me from the situation, and gave me a place to stay here, it's not perfect, but better
Hey, welcome. The first thing to do when you want to stop drinking is...................stop drinking.
hard to get to a meeting? You got for beer at times when it was hard, hell, Ive trudged through thigh deep snow, walked miles in the pouring rain, driven drunk, trekked across cities in blazing sun, wlaked throught he roughest areas in town, all for a drink, now why wouldn't I put in the same effort to stay sober?
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Okay, so your family cared enough to pull you from the living situation you were in... Do they care enough to drive you to a meeting? Only your first cuz after that, I guarantee you can find your own rides from the people that go....or take the bus. On every clubhouse bulletin board there are usually adds for people looking for roommates in the program. There are many solutions here...don't look for reasons to deny yourself recovery. You stated you are the type of drinker that has one and goes to passing out every time. That was me as well and for me....there is no other place for me to be than in AA and I am grateful for that cuz I didn't think there was a life after where I had gone to with my alcoholism.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I'm going to my first one leaving in about 5 minutes. Will report back when I get home. -- Edited by Aprilia on Saturday 7th of November 2009 04:48:59 PM
-- Edited by Aprilia on Saturday 7th of November 2009 06:45:37 PM
Aprilia, want to add, I am not judging you...It does sound like you are starting out from a position not so different than I was in a year ago. My parents flew down to Florida and helped me a bunch to make a new start...it's okay. You have my prayers and my heart goes out to you. Regarding telling your parents or whoever is in the house that you live in that drinks that you would prefer them not do it around you... This is serious stuff. You do have that right because you are working to save your life here. If they can't do that for you, and it is too much to bear, you have to find other options. If their beer is more important to them than your recovery...vamos. Another way of looking at it is that beer is also right down the street at the convenience store so having it on the table won't necessarily get you drunk. Being around drunk people and having them in your face all the time is the dealbreaker in my opinion. Just my thoughts and I also highly applaud you for making the meeting! Great work would love to hear how it went.
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Welcome, Scott. We're here 24/7. Half of my 'home' group uses public trans or gets rides to & fro. Once you get your phone list you'll find that plenty of people will provide you wit transportation. Why?
Unity/Service/Recovery.
Helping you get to meetings helps keep them sober. It's not a one-way exchange. When we AAs help you, we're getting as much, if not more, out of it than you are. Asking for rides is NOT an imposition on us. It's every AA's duty to serve other AAs in their recovery efforts as much as possible within reason and a ride is certainly within reason.
Idle time and available booze = drunk