God loves me, but .. He loves me conditionally.

Therefore His love is based on my performance.

Therefore I have to earn His love by pleasing Him.

Therefore, When I please Him, I feel loved.
When I don't please Him, I feel rejected.

Therefore, if God who is "all-loving" does not always love, accept and value me,
how can I be expected to believe that I am valuable & lovable?

Therefore, I don't believe that I am basically a lovable, valuable person.

Therefore, I am not able to trust other people who say they love me.
I suspect their motives or figure that they just don't know the "real" me yet.

Therefore, I can't accept love from other people.
I deflect it, I try to prove that I am right - that I am NOT lovable,
& that they will eventually reject me.

Therefore, they usually do

Therefore, I use the world's standards (money, status, clothes, etc) to prove
to myself & others that I am VALUABLE
I need strokes & feedback from other people to prove myself
& to others that I am LOVEABLE

Therefore I need a "fresh fix" of strokes every day
just to get through the day feeling good about myself.

Therefore, I look to others to give me something
that only God can give me - a sense of my own SELF-WORTH

Therefore I place impossible demands on people who love me.
I frustrate them. I am never satisfied with what they are giving me.
I don't allow them to be honest with me or confront me.
I'm focused on me & I expect them to be focused on me too.

Therefore since I don't love who I AM
I don't expect others will love me either.
Why would anyone want something that is of no real value?

Therefore I try to earn their love by what I DO. I don't give out of a desire to love,
but to BE LOVED. Most of what I do is tied up in "self", so the people
I profess to love don't really feel loved. They feel manipulated.
I'm trying to avoid rejection rather than trying to build a loving relationship.

Therefore I am not able to sustain a healthy, loving & lasting relationship.