New to the forum

communicator · Newbie

New to the forum

ljc · MIP Old Timer

Erica, hello Welcome !

Im not sure I understand what you mean when you say you're struggling with AA ??
Do you have a sponsor and are you working the steps, do you have a God of your understanding ?

You can do this, you can stay sober. One day at a time.
Dont quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens k ?

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey Erica,
What gives? Let us know what you are struggling with. We will give you 14 different opinions on your struggles for free!
Tom

Avril G · Senior Member

turninggrey wrote:

Hey Erica,
What gives? Let us know what you are struggling with. We will give you 14 different opinions on your struggles for free!
Tom

ONLY 14 Tom??? biggrin

Hello and welcome, Erica. If you're a bit disillusioned with AA meetings, there's obviously a reason for it, do you have a sponsor? Whatever, it is good to know you came here, instead of not bothering with AA at all.

According to my own experience, and that of others in recovery, you are at a stage of recovery where quite often the rot sets in. Nine months is notoriously bad, when the honeymoon period is over and all those niggling doubts raise their ugly heads.

Keep coming back.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Erica...Struggling is an opportunity to grow...gain a better vision and better
understanding. Keeping an open mind and not taking anything personal is one
thing for me that keeps struggles from being resentments and justifications to
dump it all. Everyone wants to support each others because it is in another
persons sobriety and growth that we find hope for ourselves.

(((((hugs))))) smile

Carolyn · Newbie

Hello there,

I just joined the forum. I've been heavily drinking beer and wine for 12 years and when I try to stop the withdrawals of headaches and stomach aches make me start again. I am aware that I'm weak. I'm all alone and really need help. I'm 44 and feel that I won't make it to 50 if I keep going on like this. - Carolyn

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Carolyn, Start your own thread so people don't get mixed up and not respond to you. It is never too late to get sober. My sponsor is 50 this year. We just celebrated his birthday and he has 2 years sober...meaning he started his AA journey at 48. The withdrawals and detox only lasted 6 days for me and with AA and people to call, it wasn't so bad. Also, please don't confuse "weak" with scared. You are not weak because I'm quite sure God did not make you to be weak. You are probably confused and frightened and that is entirely normal for being at the stage of contemplating quitting drinking. You can do it and you don't have to feel awful hangovers and withdrawal again. One thing that happens during active addiction is our world gets so small. When I started my AA journey, I cried through my first meeting about having no friends, no support, being 1000 miles away from my family and feeling all alone. In a year of being in AA, I have a wonderful support network now that is comprised of people that help each other and are all sober. So...there is a life after drinking and in my opinion it's a better one.

Communicator/Erica, I just made it past 1 year on Oct. 1. I wrestled with a lot of weird feelings and anxiety during the 11th month. Someone on here told me this was normal and that helped a lot. I'm not sure if you mean you are struggling with AA or just struggling and going to AA. I can tell you from my own experience that I wanted time to pass by and just fall asleep for the last month so I could wake up at a year...but it's all good. Every time I work my way through some issue and don't drink over it, I become a stronger person. Avril is right that there is some "rot" or whatever you might call it that sets in when you realize you are transitioning from being a total newcomer to being more of just an AA member (though I know I'm still a newcomer). My thoughts were along the lines of "I'm still not all that happy." "Everyone else is happier" "Maybe I'm not working this program right." "Why am I still so f**ked up?" Well, those thoughts are fleeting and they stem from not having an objective take on things and also it was/is my disease speaking to me wanting me to believe I'm such a mess so that I will drink over it. On thing you can do during your 11th month is to take on a service commitment and tell yourself "Well...can't get drunk now till a year..." I took on a 6 month service commitment at 9 months and am glad I did, even though there were some annoying politics involved in the position. Anyhow, there is no struggle "with AA." Whenever I thought that, invariably it was just me struggling and AA was always there to help me get through it. There are no requirements to finish all 12 steps in a year...no requirements to feel super awesome and speak of gratitude and God every day...only a desire to stop drinking and if you are still sober at 10 plus months, something is sure working. You will make it to a year. Just relax and know that you would not have gotten this far to fall flat on your face....it would take some effort to fall flat on your face now probably. Whenever I feel like I'm struggling, I just try and remember how that first month felt and how I only measured my success by getting through the day without drinking (which is really the only success that matters that much anyhow). Prayers are with you,

Mark

carlasober · Senior Member

Welcome. Keep Coming Back!

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Erica,
Welcome! When you get a chance please post a little bit about yourself so we can get to know you.

Everyone struggles at times in the program. Nine months was a rough time for me too. Please remember; if you don't drink- you can't screw this up. Turn your problems/issues over to your HP and stay in moment. This to shall pass. Wishing you a better day today.

Avril G · Senior Member

Carolyn wrote:

Hello there,

I just joined the forum. I've been heavily drinking beer and wine for 12 years and when I try to stop the withdrawals of headaches and stomach aches make me start again. I am aware that I'm weak. I'm all alone and really need help. I'm 44 and feel that I won't make it to 50 if I keep going on like this. - Carolyn

Hello and welcome Carolyn. First of all, a correction, none of us are 'weak' 'bad' 'pathetic' or any other derogatory term we have all used on ourseves for many years. This is all part of the disease of alcoholism, we beat ourselves up and put ourselves down for so long we start to believe it, when in fact the truth is we are sick.

One of the first things I heard in an AA meeting was, 'We are not bad people trying to get good, we are sick people trying to get well' I hope you stick around long enough to discover more about alcohoism, and more about yourself, and more about recovery. We've all been where you are, and this is why AA works so well, we all understand what it's like to be where you are, and those of us who have found recovery appreciate it so much, we just want to help others, so stick around.

The programme of AA is based on the 12 step recovery programme, and our 'Big Book' Alcoholics Anonymous tells us what it is, how it affects most, if not ALL of us, and how we can recover. You can read the Big Book here :-

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

kkotz401 · Senior Member

Welcome to the board. I am sure you will find it helpful.I send you love and will keep you in my prayers.

SteveP · MIP Old Timer

Hi Erica -- welcome and glad to have you here. I'm new here...this board is great.

Best

Steve

Larry_H · MIP Old Timer

Erica.

Welcome. What are you struggling with?? There is a solution you just have to ask.

Larry

Aquaman · MIP Old Timer

Erica & Carolyn,
Welcome! Dang! So many newcomers, it's getting hard to keep up...THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy!!!!

Regarding Conflicts in Meeting Groups:
The principles of AA are there to keep us on track in the real-world groups. Stick to the principles and you can't go wrong. You have a lot of one-days behind you; please get back to meetings. We're a useful bunch of folks here at MIP, but we can't hold your hand, give you a tissue or a hug. We can't refill your coffee or give you rides to meetings. Heck, we don't even have virtual chips!

(note to self....figure out a system of virtual chips)

Regarding perceptions of weakness and self-doubt:
F**k that sh*t. You, me, and everybody else who ever uttered the phrase "Hi, my name is _________ and I'm an alcoholic" has the kind of courage and strength of character that is rarely seen in this world we live in. What most people call "strength" is a flimsy fabric of self-illusion.
Ours is not a strength spun from the fiber of fear, nor is it a strength woven from pain, grief and regret. That kind of strength is soft and easily torn. Ours is a strength mined from the ore of truth, forged with the love of fellowship and tempered with God's embrace. Our strength is solid.

Okay, okay - I just took my opinion waaaayyyyy too seriously. I'm gonna read it...oh bl**dy he**!

Anyway, once you clean all the cheese off your keyboard that just leaked out of your monitor, have some faith in yourself - we have faith in you!
Something I like to say in meetings is this....

When all around seems like darkness, I pull my head out of my a** and the view improves.

Rob

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Erica,

Keep coming back