For those of you that weren't around this weekend, we have a new stickied thread at the top of the page (Share your AA Stories). This is an archive of members stories for the benefit of newcomers and visitors to relate to much like the second half of the Big Book. I want to encourage all of our members to post your story (if you already have one in a thread) and if not, to write one. And yes I'm going to post my soon. If someone needs help with moving it from another thread let myself or Danielle know.
The problem with war-stories, StPetedean is that the true--and new--alcoholic at the meeting will think to himself, "My God, I am not nearly as bad as these people--the people telling me their stories with alcohol. I have never been in prison; never the D'T's, lost only one job, and that was a 'maybe'..."
Indeed, a problem we have with telling our war stories. Warn the newcomer we must, but with prudence and sensitivity we must proceed.
My fate was my going to my first AA Meeting back in 2000. To the horror stories I could not identify. Non-alcoholic was I because of their horror stories!
There is no accounting for what a person will hear that will drive them out versus give them the strength to stay in. One thing about tellings stories is to try and remember to focus more or as much on the recovery as the drunkalog right? All I know is my bottom was mine and it was bad enough for me.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Some folks NEED to hear stories as bad as mine, because I know of some women in AA who thought THEY were "too bad" for AA!!! So it is the same on both ends of the coin. Anyone giving a lead at any meeting runs the risk of some newcomer there saying, "Geesh I'm too (good/bad) for this program". That didn't stop ANYONE I know, who truly wanted to get and stay sober, to get sober.
Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
"Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone.
Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink."
Big Book - There Is A Solution
Pretty clear to me! After all, I'm either a REAL alkie or I'm not! If I am, then I've placed myself beyond human aid and am suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer! Can the newcomer choose when to stop once he/she picks up that first drink? Can he/she control his/her drinking? If the answer is "NO", then he/she will already know they need to do something and my story isn't going to convince them any further! Personal stories are used on 12 Step calls during the very first contact but need not be "shared" in meetings! REAL alkies will be interested in HOW to recover, not our personal drama!
Yvon P., recovered alkie, The Anderson Lake Group, Espanola, Ontario, Canada
I always thought I was "different" because my story wasnt as bad as most peoples. (my perception). I hadnt gone to jail, never been institutionalized, didnt lose a house or a husband, didnt lose my kids. I still had money in my bank account and food in my fridge. What I did lose was my dignity, self-respect and my mind. Alcoholism and our stories arent about how bad it got, who's got the worst war story etc. Its about sharing our experience strength and hope in the chance that we can help the still suffering alcoholic.
Hi Sober Julie, there are people that are just where you were that would benefit greatly from hearing your story. I was a relatively high bottom drunk as well. Never drank in the morning, never had the shakes or nausea , always worked, paid my bills, supported my family, no bankruptcies, no medical problems... But I too felt terrible about myself. Filled with fear, shame, regrets , and resentments. I knew that I was losing my mind. I was drinking by myself a lot and talking to myself, and toward the end was talking to people who weren't there. I'd then blackout/passout , wake up and go looking around the house for "those people" that I was talking to earlier, then I'd realize I'm going nuts. And who can you tell?
If someone needs help with moving it from another thread let myself or Danielle know.