This is a very bad place for me to be... get confident after one meeting, thinking I don't need AA, that's the very thing that has gotten me in trouble for the last 20 years. Forgetfulness.... I drummed up some courage last night and to go to a discussion meeting, got there, found 3 people waiting outside the building for someone to show up with a key. No one did, no meeting, came home and thought.. oh well maybe my HP doesn't want me to go to AA! Ya think???? WRONG.. I plan to take another run at it tonight, a 12 step mtg at 7:30pm. Thanks for listening/hearing/reading.. I just had to get this off my chest. I just have to stay reminded that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and need support in my recovery.
Dang Carlotta, that would piss me off. On the other hand, you were there with 2 other people. It only takes you and 1 other alcoholic to have a meeting. That means in the instances when you might be snowed in, hurricained in or whatever...that phone, or meeting up with just 1 or a couple people from AA and talking to other alcoholics can be a temporary replacement for meetings. Also, the super duper low bottom is not a requirement for membership. A desire to stop drinking is a requirement and you have that. You know you can't and really dont want to drink anymore and you were smart and did not let things progress to being a total shut in, drinking by yourself and having no other life... That's a blessing. Clearly, I don't need to reason with you as you already wrote how you know you are an alcoholic and plan to continue attending meetings. In a couple more weeks, going to meetings is going to become routine for you, you will know more people, and those thoughts won't hit you as much because you will enjoy going and needing it wont matter because wanting it will take over (that is the only way it works anyhow - when you want it). I am still really glad to hear of your efforts and keep it up!!
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
No show meeting only happened to me once, in Inverness. Luckily it was a 6:30 p.m. meeting and there was one other guy there. I had my blackberry and we found another meeting at the hospital an hour later, but had already decided if there was no other meeting the pair of us would go for a coffee and have a 1:1 meeting.
So next time that it happens I'm prepared to hold another meeting, somewhere, with whoever is there.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Carlotta, Sister, that sucks. I'm sorry that happened. I can't speak for your HP, and neither can you, but I'm fairly certain that a Grade-A HP like ours (Grade-D HP's hardly ever show up for work, therefore can't be counted on) wouldn't want you to quit AA.
I didn't see anything in your post about drinking...so...congratulations on another sober day at a time.
Oh, I see you posted like, almost an hour ago. I just got up. Thanks for hosting and chairing this mini-meet.
The God of my understanding doesn't tell me I dont need AA. ( I tell me I dont need AA , me and my sick thinking screw me up ).
I am no longer a victim of this 'disease', if I pick up a drink today, Im a volunteer.
No shows at meetings happen ... c'mon we're dealing sometimes with a bunch of irresponsible drunks, lol. And who knows why nobody showed ? Maybe the person with the key was sick or something happened.
Perfect opportunity for the ones outside the door to gather up and head to the closest restaurant for some coffee and fellowship .
Dont give up, dont quit 5 minutes before that miracle happens. And it will happen, cuz We see it every day if we have our hearts and eyes open.
Hi Carlotta, it happens to all of us. Many times I've go looking for a meeting from a schedule and the meeting was no longer there. Other times I showed up on the wrong night, or couldn't find the meeting. Here's a couple of suggestions. If you have a local AA intergroup, call them and ask for recommendations for well established meetings for each day of the week, and try those. Look to make 3 or 4 of these or other well established meetings ones that you regularly attend each week. I don't know if they have AA clubs in your country, but those were very beneficial to me as they have meetings every day several times a day. It makes it a "no brainer", my car just drives me there regardless of my mental and spiritual condition.
Hey Carlotta, Its like "If the teacher is 10 minutes late, class is canceled"! Been there done that. If we could put together a book with all the crazy scenarios where we wanted to test our commitment to AA, it would be a very long long book. From afar it would probably be funny as well if it were not so serious. Thanks for reminding us once again how insidious this disease is! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Hey Carlotta, Its like "If the teacher is 10 minutes late, class is canceled"! Been there done that. If we could put together a book with all the crazy scenarios where we wanted to test our commitment to AA, it would be a very long long book. From afar it would probably be funny as well if it were not so serious. Thanks for reminding us once again how insidious this disease is! Tom
Too true, Tom!! Of course in an ideal world no-one would EVER turn up to an AA meeting which doesn't open, BUT these sober alkies sometimes have to face life problems, and from my own experience of getting a meeting covered at the last minute isn't easy, so it does happen. Also, as StPeteDean says, from the moment they're printed our meeting lists are out of date, as new meetings open and others close, so it is worthwhile calling the contact number just to check it out.
I reckon God, or HP or whoever/whatever you like to call it, is just having a laugh (MY God has a weird sense of humour) and is testing your commitment to getting started?
Whatever, don't ever give up, and thanx for posting this, some of us might have thought 'Sod it, if that's AA I'm outa here' but here you are, and going again today. GOOD ONYA - Hope to see your first meeting report next time I log in.
Never Quit Quitting
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
Thinking I am cured and no longer need AA is a common but very dangerous thought. My mind is out to get me on a daily basis and I have to be constantly on guard. My sponsor always said that I should go to the meetings that I needed and go to the meetings that I did'nt need and go to the meetings that I wanted to and go to the meetings that I didn't want to. I started to see a pattern in this
Maybe I should go to meetings!!
Today after 33 years sobriety I only need one meeting a week but I go to 7 meetings a week to find out which meeting that is.
No key is bad but at least you didn't say forget it and use this as an excuse to get drunk. For me I always have a plan B and plan C. Some of the best meetings I have had in 20 years sober is me and 1 or 2 other alcoholics just talking over a few pots of coffee.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Carlotta, boy do I ever understand where you are at!! It has sank my ship on a few occasions! Take care of yourself by getting back to those meetings. Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I tried the fellowship for a few meetings about six years ago. One night, not only was nobody there from the meeting, but the normies who ran the hall were having a choir concert. I was looking around and they were wondering who the hell I was! lol
Suffice to say, it took me six years to come back. I should have just found another meeting or one the next day, internet, whatever. But six years later, I found the fellowship for real. Too bad to it took me six years, but there you go.
A few months ago, I looked up a meeting near work on the web, went to the location - one other guy was there, door locked -- turns out the drunks who ran it had cancelled that venue and moved it somewhere else without informing intergroup.
I was pissed off -- one part of me was so pissed off with AA and alkies that I thought that I'd drop the fellowship entirely. But this time, I was able to find another meeting. Glad I did.
Yah...another one of those million AA sayings I picked up in a year regarding meetings and my desire, thoughts, or willingness to go..."If you are thinking about going to a meeting...Go to a meeting and then think about it." This pretty much applies to me daily after having done the 90/90 and gone to so many meetings. Not a day goes by when I don't think about going to a meeting and, applying the above statement, I wind up going daily for the most part.
P.S. A bit off topic, but I wanted to add that I probably picked up a good portion of these AA slogans here because when I see it written...it sticks with me. So a snippet of gratitude to this site for helping me have simple sayings to apply to my life in a helpful way. I never thought I would become a "slogan person" but dang...it happened and I am glad.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Monday 19th of October 2009 09:12:56 AM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
This is a very bad place for me to be... get confident after one meeting, thinking I don't need AA, that's the very thing that has gotten me in trouble for the last 20 years. Forgetfulness.... I drummed up some courage last night and to go to a discussion meeting, got there, found 3 people waiting outside the building for someone to show up with a key. No one did, no meeting, came home and thought.. oh well maybe my HP doesn't want me to go to AA! Ya think???? WRONG.. I plan to take another run at it tonight, a 12 step mtg at 7:30pm. Thanks for listening/hearing/reading.. I just had to get this off my chest. I just have to stay reminded that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and need support in my recovery.
. 
