I like the poem. I'm a fairy, but I can't fly yet. On a serious note, welcome to MIP! Post more please! Let us get to know you! Whatever pain you may be in is temporary because that is the way life works and AA will help you get through it. At least that's how I'm seeing things at the moment.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I chose my user name because of something I heard in rehab. Some of the others just liked getting high but my reasons for getting drunk was to check out of my life.
Glad you liked my poem. I was at a pretty low point and I was compelled to let my family and friends know some of my reasons. They all know my history. I have had a pretty rough life. Molested as a child, raped after my divorce. Had my kids taken from me. Lost my job. I have been through more than anyone I know and I don't know how I get through the days. But I do.
Thanks for the thoughts on doors. I am thinking I may need to start checking other handles.
Yah. I like that tag name for that reason...It only leaves some room for misinterpretation in that people could think you are about to commit suicide. But yes, one of my primary drinking motivators was also to just check out. I had progressed well beyond trying to drink for fun and was doing it to avoid all growth, emotions, responsibility, and so forth. I have had some difficult things happen to me in life...a crushing mental breakdown at age 25 that left me forever changed...struggling to accept being gay...several "divorces." I have not been a trauma victim and for that my heart goes out to you. I cannot identify with that particular pain but I know it must be whopping and so hard to get over. I do know multiple people though that share that awful experience....You have been through more than most for sure, but there is always someone in AA who has had all those things happen to them and I can think of several. Not to diminish ANY of what you've been through, but just to let you know you aren't alone in any of your suffering. The best thing about what you wrote I think was you don't know how you get through the days...but you do. This means you are doing something that's working right? In support and caring,
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
It is funny that your name is Wendy when I really think I suffered acutely from a severe Peter Pan complex - A.K.A. my refusal to grow up and become a man rather and a selfish and hedonistic boy. Symbolically speaking also, I actually do think I am flying in a way. I have to keep breaking it down to basics. I am still pretty early on in this so every day that I deal with life on life's terms and do not drink is a day that I am kicking alcohol's ass and I am growing up in a hurry. So...basically I am flying through the process of going from an emotional age of like 10 to my chronological age. It's not happening as fast as I want sometimes, but it is happening. Love,
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!