Why do we fight? --well-I dont know about you but I never did take or read directions and follow them.:) on anything.
Ile do this my way!!
With this kid, it was self centeredness, self will, stubborness--Im smarter
than you guys are--Ile fix it myself-Im not getting humble-big ego-there is no God-Im not
asking for help from anyone or thatll make me weak-nothing wrong with me--its the rest of you guys,
that are a bit off key-self-self-self-me-me-me-what would people think? Noone feels like I do.
And Surrender? Never surrendered to anything in my life. I could be barely twitchin, and Ide still be fighting inside.
With this voice saying "You give up yet?"
Nope--fight to the bitter end. And admit it when Im wrong? oh God!! thats another story!! hahaha ---me wrong? nawww-I wouldnt be here if it wasnt for people, places and things, screwing me up.:)
Well-Im still putting horse linamint, on all the bruises.
Better today.:) Have a good night Cheri. um-you have a birthday--me thinks--comming up in a few days.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Well, after a good night sleep things look so much easier. HALT...gotta remember that.
Wendy's the one with the birthday comin up...I'm so happy for you! I think you share the date with the day that AA was founded...June 9th right? How cool!!
This 4th is something I try to do every year and I put off this one, until my sponsor and I talked and she told me to start working on it. Thre's some stuff trying to get out and I can feel it, but there's' some fear there about what I'm gonna do with it afterwards. But I have to get it done before I go up to the medicine lodge, which is fast approaching. So it's time to get busy.
Sometimes I wish I was in my first year of sobriety again, when every thing was new and fresh. But I am not willing to do what I'd have to do to get back there, so I'll jost peel another layer off of the onion and start growing up.
