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Post Info TOPIC: Temptation Tonight
jonijoni1


MIP Old Timer

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Temptation Tonight
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Have not had one in a while, but I have a serious brain problem tonight, where the thought of hitting the streets keeps finding its way into my mind. Sponsor is not available tonight, but I told someone else in AA about the issue.

I do not intend to do anything of the sort. I am leading tomorrow. I will have 2 years (again) in a few weeks. I have tools. But the last week has been incredibly difficult, and I have had a meltdown which was crushing and filled with tears and despair. I asked for help. And I ask for help again tonight. A few prayers would be good tonight. There is no chance I am walking out this door tonight, but just for good measure, I need some prayers and encouragement.

This disease can be a real bitch. I can go a really long time and not ever think about picking up. But once in awhile, my disease reminds me that it is still there, ever present, doing push-ups, and rearing its ugly head at the most inopportune time. (Is there ever a good time? No....)

Anyway, I have promised myself that this time, I will do whatever I have to do to avoid relapse. I will check myself into an assylum before I use, I kid you not.

Thanks for listening.
Joni



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Just Toni


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Hi Joni,

Yes I will say a Prayer for you my friend.

Love, Toni

-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 9th of October 2009 10:01:43 PM

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Rob84


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Hi Joni,

My prayers are with you. You are a great inspiration to myself and many others and God has given you a great gift.

Everything is going to be Ok.

BTW for those who do not know "leading" means telling your story at a meeting.  I came to learn the term is mostly just used in NE Ohio.

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Rob

"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Jerry F


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You have the prayers Joni...and you're not alone you know you have family who
knows exactly what you are going thru.  One of the things I remember that use
to support me getting dressed up and heading out the door to the local
dispenser was boredom and that I felt I needed some artificial excitement.
It was all temporary and troubling.  We learn alternatives; all kinds of healthy
alternatives.    Focus    Focus    Focus.

(((((hugs))))) smile

PS...I'm leading tomorrow on Service.





-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 9th of October 2009 11:59:48 PM

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SteveP


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Hey Joni

Sorry I'm late to the picnic but you've shared on it. That's what makes the difference. Before AA we couldn't do that, and we'd drink. Now we can share with our people and we don't have to do that. Good thoughts going your way. :)

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pinkchip


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All our struggles add to what makes us stronger. Of course they only make us stronger if we keep making the right decisions like you are every day....gutting it out and working through things sober using the tools of AA (sponsor, steps/literature, fellowship, asking for help, prayer, service, higher power). Keep your head up Joni, you are such a wonderful person. Prayers for you in multiple ways. Prayers that you feel better, but also prayers of gratitude about you :)

Love, Mark

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newcomer


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sending prayers your way, tough one and this disease is a bitch, very dfficult at times,

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Sobrietyspell


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Thank you for your love, trust & humility in sharing your difficulties as well as all the energy you give to others, Joni.

I hear your obsession giving you grief & I'm glad & grateful that you have your program in place helping you to stay sane just for today. I can feel your Higher Power strong in you helping with your defence against any first drink. I am glad we do not have to drink today no matter what. I know you will do whatever it takes too. If we pick up we are not letting our God help us & as you know, your reaching out is a help to me, you & others.

Are you writing your thoughts down too for a written inventory, Jo? Sometimes it's back to basics when we're so troubled. The times I've been troubled I've had to get real specific so that nothing can continue to sneak on past me or be motivating me from underneath ;)I know you are wise to this program so I hope you don't think I'm trying to tell You how to suck eggs! lol

Thanks for your beauty, sobriety & spirit, Joni! You have my hope, faith & prayers, Danielle x

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Just Toni


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Hi Joni,

I just wrote you a private message about why I took out my first response.  We had just communicated, and was getting off the computer when I popped in and saw you Post.

After a few minutes, I felt "eeks", I have over reacted, and simply took that out of my response.

I am writing this am just to say that I hope your Lead was great, how could it not have been???

Love you bunches, and sending a big fat hug to you.  You were certainly in my Prayers last night, and evening too.

Just like one of your favorite sayings ONWARD!

Your friendy, Tonicakes

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turninggrey


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Hey Joni,
I had a little "self test" myself and powered through it. I sent a prayer out for you as well. Just chill and smell the fresh mowed grass until you are strong.
Tom

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Dave Harm


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Prayers to you Joni,

I had five and a half years sobriety and threw it away because of an urge.

For me, what I figured out was that I slipped because I lost my conscious contact. Gratefully, I've stayed close to my Higher Power this time...

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"A busy mind is a sick mind.  A slow mind, is a healthy mind.  A still mind, is a divine mind." - Native American Centerness

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kkotz401


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I will say a prayer for you. I hope things get better.

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Avril G


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My prayers going out for you too, Joni, I am confident you won't pick up because you've shared it. KEEP ON KEEPING ON.

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Aquaman


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Oh Joni, please ride it out. Take a hot bath. Slow down. Beautiful Joni, you've helped me so, so much and I know your HP and You can help you now!

Or.....
Have you tried shaving your head? Oh, I always feel Soooooooo refreshed, renewed and reborn after I shave my head! And if you don't like it, you can weave a dread-lock wig out of all that Norwegian Elk Hound fur under your sofa!

So, in a small aircraft flying over the Pacific is Barack Obama, a Boy Scout and Bill Gates. First one, then both engines go out and the pilot and co-pilot come out of the cockpit and say "We're going down. We each have a parachute and there's only two more.", he says, and throws them on the pile of luggage before they open the door and leave our three passengers with two parachutes. Bill Gates jumps to his feet and immediately lunges onto the pile and straps one on. "Sorry guys, I'm the world's smartest man and I HAVE to live or technology and life as we know it will grind to a halt. Good Luck!" He says as he jumps out. Barack Obama and the Boy Scout look at each other.
"Well, kid," says President Obama, "I had a good life. I made history as America's first black President, and I just won a Nobel Peace Prize. I'm at peace with dying. You take the last parachute and God bless you, kid."
"Gee, Mr. President," the Boy Scout says. "That was a nice speech but we're both getting out of this together. The 'world's smartest man' jumped out with my backpack."

Joni, you are loved.
Rob






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turninggrey


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biggrinHey Aquaman,
I am not sure, but wouldn't Barack say "Sorry kid, I'm going to need both in case one fails"?
Hey jonijoni, are you still there?

-- Edited by turninggrey on Sunday 11th of October 2009 07:58:44 PM

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StPeteDean


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Jonijoni, this just sounds like pre anniversary jitters, not to mention a rough full moon last week. I wanted to choke several people and had trouble not telling them about it. Just chill out and don't think about too much till your anni passes.

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 Gratitude = Happiness!





Avril G


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How you doing Joni??Hope you're feeling better.

__________________
Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want

Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS

*SOBRIETY ROCKS*
JacobDean


Newbie

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Hello,
and your not alone. Tonight has been a struggle. As I was just doing fine all day and all night. Then after the meeting, something was triggered and then it became hard. But I think things are getting better.

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bikerbill


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eh, Joni, where are you, how you doin?

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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got.
BB

When all else fails - RTFM
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