Just saw where you wrote that you did not know if it was worthy of mentioning - just getting over 90 days.
Angela, we have written to each other, and just watching you grow the way you have in these 90+ days, getting a great Sponsor, getting to all the Meetings, and doing so much work, with a very strong commitment to the Program.
From the day you first sort of peeked in, and we saw you there, just a little fearful of Posting. You have grown by leaps and bounds. The vigorous work you are doing.... my thoughts, if that is not worthy of mentioning, and taking a pause to give yourself a big pat on your own Back, such great work and growth, well if that is not worthy of mentioning, then I would not have any reason to be here, writing to anyone.
Just happen to be one of your biggest fans, maybe it shows, and I sure hope it does!
Happy Happy 90+ days and congratulations on the difficult step work you have undertaken.
With a thousand hugs to you my dear friend,
and a handshake too, (couldn't find any hug icons :)
Tonicakes
-- Edited by Just Toni on Tuesday 6th of October 2009 12:17:49 PM
Angela, Congrats! At my Coffe & Cookies meeting today we all touched on how We're different from Them, and shouldn't measure ourselves by the same yardsticks that Normals do.
90 days is worth a huge "WWHHHOOOPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!" Treat yourself. My treat was sushi. Nobody else in my family will go within twenty feet of the stuff (how can some Scandinavians eat lutefisk and be scared of a little piece of marinated shrimp is beyond me).
Hi Toni, Thank you for the shout on the board! My 90 day came and went, can't remember if it was noted previously here or not, but I still feel excited 35 or so days later. I'm also close to 100 posts on MIP. This is a milestone for me, as I have expressed to you privately how hard it can be for me to leave a post, for worrying about saying the wrong thing. I talk about this fellowship in meetings, because it means a lot to me and I'm so grateful for its existence and the all the wonderful AA members. I'm also nostalgic, and this is where I spent my early sober hours. Things like whiteboard welcome's from Sobrietyspell and KKotzwhite and your private messages made a huge difference. I do find something in every single post to learn, grow, and identify with. The response here is so immediate. For a socially fearful person like me the words with out eye contact is both hard and easy in ways. Good day to everyone-you all matter!
-- Edited by angelov8 on Tuesday 6th of October 2009 02:13:45 PM
Aloha Angela...Your response had an affect on me and my memory and I decided to just response with congradulations knowing that with more practice and more time you will arrive at progressive recovery and what you share with others and how you do that will be enough.
And what you wrote here, just makes you ever so endearing, like you have that humility, already built in, that this Program always asks of us.
I was out a good part of today, and you recall my Post about the heat wave of a week or so ago, right? maybe you missed it. well today is so darn cold outside, but I definitely am not going there today, tehe.
So someday hope you will just post from you heart, that is just what I do, and never go back and read what i wrote, because when I have, I think I need to go back and take the whole thing out. Just like when we are sharing in meetings. sometimes people have said to me, I really enjoyed what you said,...... and I don't, but I want to say, well what did I say?, hahahaha. I do remember the topic, and only vaguely recall my sharing.
Later today or tomorrow for sure, want to write to you at our sites, I have been meaning to write, and share some stuff,
Congratulations on your 90Days & still going strong 1Day@aTime, Angela! I can identify with your shyness & I do my best not to allow it to affect me detrimentally today. This is tough stuff, & much of the honesty in our program is, but I understand my shyness as self-centred fear today. That all pervasive evil corroding thread that can & has riddled its way right through my life for so long.
I have a power in my life today with the program under my belt & God in my heart that I can speak with Him & ask Him to help me & remove this fear. It tells us in our Big Book that when we do this we begin to outgrow fear. With the help of my Higher Power.
When I was earlier on in I would crucify myself with fear & self-pity after my first shares where I would hate myself even more & hate everyone for what they just heard me say! It took me time but I came to realise I was being self-centred in this & that my fear & loathing was & is not God's will for me.
I began to use the 3rd Step prayer before & after my shares & the fear would lessen & lift. I learned to be kind to myself & not criticise myself in the ways I imagined others would react, feel about or see me. I learned that these were my own worse thoughts about myself & I learned to let go of them.
There was a couple of times when I was first around MIP when I shared a few things which I greatly feared would have me rejected & was terrified about coming back & seeing how you all had responded. But, I needn't have worried. I was met with love, care, compassion & trust which melted my heart & helped me to have faith, be continually & increasingly honest & share as much as I could with you.
Sharing takes lots & lots of practice but it pays off. Sometimes I even surprise myself in meetings & here today with what I've just told you! Sharing for me today is like exfoliation for my soul & I deserve it. I deserve to feel good about myself today. I've hurt by my own hand & suffered enough in my life so I let this program heal me.
I love this program & I love your courage. Keep coming back & taking dares of trusting in your shares. I know that, like me, you will not be disappointed. Recovery love & well done, my friend & sister. Thank you for the pm visit too ;) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Dear MIP, Thank you everyone for your kind words. Bits of joy just keep bubbling up. It's been so pleasant. I hope that I can give back what I have been given. Danielle, your detail in chronicling your struggles and efforts was inspiring. I hope to see my posts number in thousands someday, one day at a time. Good to see you, KK, I wasn't sure if you were MIA.
-- Edited by angelov8 on Wednesday 7th of October 2009 02:50:28 PM
YAY - well done on your 90 days ++ Sorry I didn't see it sooner, but I still have some catching up to do. I LOVE seeing milestones in recovery. Remember what they say, the longest journey begins with the FIRST STEP.
-- Edited by Avril G on Saturday 10th of October 2009 07:58:07 PM
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
