Hi bubblegum, and welcome to the site. Let us know what you're dealing with right now, and we will all do our best to try to help you.... how about letting us know a little about yourself, in an anonymous way, and what issues you are having?
Take care and don't leave before the miracle happens.
Sincerely, Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
well i em a recovering alcoholic i have a family of alcoholics and drugies i went through alot so i acted out in rebelling by drinking and doing drugs i have never had a childhood i had to be adult at a young age its been hard but get since i havent drank i just kinda wished that i had a descent childhood growing up with parents that didnt do what they did....
You have come to the right place, Tiffany. Many of us here have grown up in very dysfunctional families. Many of us were abused, and felt like we had lost our childhoods to being in a sick environment and having to deal with that.
There is hope. You can stay sober now, and actually enjoy some childhood-type friendhips and activities with others who are just "waking up" to all we have missed out on. It says that you went to your first meeting tonight? Or are you planning to go...? That is the best thing you can do. The 12 Steps and the support of a good understanding and loving sponsor can help you get through just about anything. Have you thought about getting a sponsor, do you know what one is?
Again, if you have any queations about how the AA Program works, feel free to ask. And you are very very welcome here. We are all family here, and we welcome you to be a part of it.
Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
i have heard of a sponser but dont have one but i think that there great my sisters best friend has one and shes very nice i know that im welcomed here and thats a great feeling for me i em in treatment at a recovery center and im just almost graduated out there i just have to do somethings to finish i have a wonderful conuslar there and thanks for all of your support
umm i have a question.... What are some ways and tips to get your mind of drinking?
During my first week of sobriety, I was recommend to read the book, LIVING SOBER. I found this very helpful( in early recovery). In retrospect, I feel that the cravings for alcohol reminded me that I did actually need AA and deserved to have a chair there, even though they were extremely unpleasant. So now I'm grateful. But in order not to drink, I think that book is good. You could probably get it at a meeting from another person, or if there's a club for meetings in your neck of the woods, there should be a copy there. I got mine at amazon. It came super fast, like two days-Thanks, God!
It has stuff in there like, about being at gatherings where alcohol is present, liquor in the house, loneliness, insomnia, old friends and habits, telling others, and best of all, "Easy does it"!(Don't overdo anything, including recovery, one little step at a time) and the "24 hour Plan"!(Don't worry about tomorrow, just don't drink for today, this hour, this minute) It is straightforward and to the point. For example, in my first hours of sobriety, I went from trying not to drink to obsessing that if I got sober for real, I'd have to get a divorce from my drinking husband. Reading about the concept of "Easy does it" helped me calm down and just focus on what I needed most to do right that minute, which was not pick up the drink, then go to work and not drink and then go to a meeting and not drink and so on.
Thank you for coming to this group for help. That took a lot of courage. You're brave woman and you have far more strength than you know. It's true for all of us, so it must be true for you, too. I don't know what your family life was/is like so I'll just tell you righ away that I'm a married 43 year-old father of three, with one more on the way. I've been in the program just over 90 days.
JoniJoni1, Sobrietyspell (Danielle) and Toni are excellant women for you to get to know here. They are full of strength, love and hope with plenty of extra to spare.
I get my mind off drinking by identifying my "common environmantal triggers", things like...visiting a certain aquaintance, sitting in a certain park, stopping at my favorite bodega, cooking a complicated meal, social gatherings and stuff like that and then I stopped doing them for a while. The world won't come to an end if you skip a barbecue.
I then identified "common emotional triggers" and avoided or eliminated them; sales quota pressure from the boss, too much to do in one day and little frustrations that mounted up into bigger frustrations. I shut 'em out. My number one job was to NOT drink at any given time, and if that means that my sales are low this month because I'm not going to tip my canoe into the Whiskey River...so be it.
Once I removed those things from my day-to-day life, my attitude improved, my faith in my HP improved and the fight got a little more winnable.
You can do it Tiffany, and we're here to help. Every newcomer. like you, me and the rest, helps keep the Old Timers sober by helping us. It's a great big beautiful circle and we're so lucky that you found us.
Tiffany, Welcome! Your wanted here, needed here and loved here. What worked for me in early sobriety was going to lots of meetings and talking to others about what I was going through, eventhough, I didn't want too. They'll be plenty of people at the meetings willing to help you. Get some phone numbers and talk with people often and they can walk you through your difficulties. You'll be helping them as much as they'll be helping you. I also tried to stay in the moment as much as possible. Accepting the fact that I was sick, was big for me. It allowed me to understand that I wasn't a bad person, just a sick person trying to get well. It may take awhile for the obession to drink to lift, just know that this is normal and you'll be o.k.
The best way to not be obsessing about drinking when you first get out of treatment (I have been there twice, so I know!), is to get heavily involved in AA. Find a group you like, hopefully with some young people, whom you can get to know and hang out with. When I was younger and in AA, I found a group of people around the same age, who were serious about staying sober. We all stayed close to eachother, met and rode together to meetings, went out for coffee afterward, went to movies, went bowling, did just about anything to keep our minds off drinking, and to keep our minds from THINKING about drinking.
You gotta have a good sponsor too, to bounce your thoughts and your problems off of. The more time you spend with your sponsor and other sober people and at AA meetings, the greater chance you have at not falling off the wagon. Keep your mind occupied with good sober people and places. When you are interacting with sober people, you are less likely to think about drinking. And if you do think about it, your sober friends/sponsor will be there to talk sense into you, and help you through the urge.
AA was created by some very wise people who KNEW they could not stay sober alone. The key is to finally let OTHERS help us in life, with this very urgent matter of staying sober. You can learn to have a great deal of fun while sober as well. There is a saying:
"Alone, I get drunk. Together, WE stay sober!" You can take that one to the bank, because it is 100% true. Check out all the meetings in your area, and find the ones you like. Then try going to 90 meetings in 90 days. That is a terrific way to meet a support group to call your own. Remember, the disease of alcoholism/addiction isolated us from others. Staying sober requires breaking the isolation and getting involved in other human beings' lives again, and letting them get involved in yours.
Take care and have a lovely day, Tiffany. This will get better, just stay busy in AA!
(((hugs))) joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
So many woman, and men too, just like Joni said, came in to this Program, and went through life missing an entire childhood.
My own suggestion is that you ask about getting to your first meeting, and when there, raising your hand, and asking for a Sponsor, hopefully someone with over 5, 10 even better, years in the Program. Your Sponsor is the one that will be you Guide in the 12 Step work, that is suggested as the way out of the Disease.
Also, the working of these important steps, is where we can finally put the excuiciating pain of not having a childhood, finally to rest, I personally experienced it as sort of a 'soul death", and that gave me for many years an excuse to use Alcohol, so I could feel like others felt, so I thought at the time.
We do heal from that pain, that is a promise, it goes away, with some hard work, and the use of some outside help as well for some of us.
Just so very happy you are here. Very courageus as Aquaman said, and I also can read some fear in your words, that is just part of the courage it takes, if that makes sense. We were all very scared, after all we are now not alone, with a bottle as a best friend, living in isolation, but it is wonderful all the same to leave that painful isolation and walk out into the sun with all of us, recovering alcoholics one and all.
Each and every one of us were exactly were you are this morning. Just so you know you are truly amoung true friends here.
When you have time, please let us know a little more about you and what led to you being where you are at, in that Recovey Home, (by the way, that is a great way to begin Recovery)
Welcome Tiffany! Just remember to breathe deep. Give yourself a pat on the back every day for not drinking because that is your primary purpose right now and pretty much always (a day at a time) from this point on. Go to lots of meetings so that you make a support network of sober people in your town. Get phone numbers and call them whenever you get the thought to drink. Your mind can be easily diverted by talking to your fellow alcoholics. I also recommend the book LIVING SOBER as angela stated. It is very reader friendly and was like a manual for my first 90 days. Your healing and recovery starts now. What was once a difficult past can and will be converted into strength to help you and others. Have faith.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hi Tiffany, and a big welcome to our fellowSHIP HMS Recovery. Get in the middle of the boat, there's less chance of you falling out that way.
This is a good place to start your recovery with AA, hopefully you wil also get to a real face to face meeting once you are out of rehab, where you wil find rooms full of people just like you who understand you.
No-one knows an alkie like another alkie. Good luck to you. We are no longer alone we trudge this road, together we make it.
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
