Hi Scott,

Well according to your not to her, about the court setting up three days, October 10, 11, and 12, right.

But in her email back to you she only mentions ONE Day, not three,

Ok copied what she wrote back to you:

I have spoke to ***** and maybe it is something you should actually talk to him about but it has been agreed upon that he agrees with you it will be Monday October 12th, 2009 you pick him up at home at 11:00 am and return him back home at 2:00 pm.  We will see how that goes!

October 10th is on a Saturday, then 11th, being Sunday, but she only referred to the one day of the 12th, Monday, and you picking him up at ll:00 and returning him at 2:00. Is that correct??

She certainly does sound like she is very controlling, to say the Least, yicks, like she has agreed to loan you her lawn Mover or some other Object.  Maybe she is coming from total jealousy as to your Boy being so excited to see you. Not your problem.

In this Country, the Courts look at Costody cases, and maybe I already said this, they really dont put too much emphasis on what you or she wants, on what is in the "Child's Best Interest".

Have you gone to Court, and done this battle, hope so, and when it is set, then it is as good as being written in the LAW Inself, have to go back to Court, in this country, to even Modify any changes, no matter how minute.

Do you have a Stong Attorney represented you and looking out after what you want and especially in how much you want to share in the Custody of your Son. 

Just a question, if you live relatively close, like in the same area, have you not asked for all week ends, or every other week end. When the children are under 12, again, in this Country they are considered minors too young to have a voice, but here, after a child turn 12s years old, the Courts view his opinions on who he wants as the Primary Custodial parent, and the Court almost always allows that to happen.

Please let us know what is up with that 3 days being reduced to 1, don't think she made a typo, right. 

Anyway, stay in touch,  I am very curious about what just appears to be a deviation from the 3 days.  

Ok, enough out of me today,
Toodles, Toni

PS, Just re-read that note from the court, and it was TO BE just one of the three days mentioned, right. 

Oh well, rather than delete this entire response I will let it stand. sorry, I was the one that did not get it really straight, I think.
again, toodles  

 

-- Edited by Just Toni on Saturday 3rd of October 2009 06:27:17 PM

Dean, you missed what I missed, the little word "or" in the body of the first email.


Right?????

I agree with Dean - "or" is the key word here. With my divorce I learned in a hurry to ask exactly what I wanted because if I left any door open for miscommunication it always came back to bite me.

One thing I learned being an alcoholic going through a divorce with a raving co-dependent was to never create triangles of communication. If I needed to talk to the ex - I talked to her.. If I needed to talk to the kids, I talked to them.

She was a master of putting them in the middle of our discussions and they'd end up in a no win situation...

Hey Scott,
I went through it as well. My son was 2 when his mother and I parted which was also the beginning of my sobriety. I was fortunate enough to have been awarded "joint custody" and had a well defined liberal visitation schedule. I never missed visitation and was never late on support payments for the 11 years following. At 13 yo my son came to live with current wife and I. The best advice I can give you is to make it as uneventful as possible. Ignore her bickering and eventually she'll grow tired of being the only one doing it. A sign that I had a successful time at this was evidenced by the lack of any further involvement of the court, never had any contact with any social services telling me what to do. I've got to admit that my x-wife never tried to keep me from seeing my son though.